


Sugar Sugar

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Sugar Sugar Universe [1]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Any and All Sexual Contact is Consensual, Bondage, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Play, F/M, Gift Giving, Millionaire Poe, Modern AU, Poe just wants to buy Rey pretty things, Struggling student Rey, Sugar Daddy AU, With a heavy dose of angst, tragic backstories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-06-08 11:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15242763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: Rey Smith has just graduated from college and is trying to figure out what to do next in her life - she's broke and more than a little lonely, so when her roommate's older sister, Paige, suggests going on a date with a mysterious, older man who has a thing for spending money on young women, well -Rey's done stranger things. Even if she expects the worst.And Poe Dameron defies all expectations.





	1. The First Date

**Author's Note:**

> This fic comes from an anon suggestion where Poe Dameron is a sugar daddy to Rey - some things to say before we get started:  
> 1\. Rey and Poe do NOT have sex as a condition of the dynamic/him giving her money  
> 2\. I don't know a whole lot about sugar daddies/the reality of that, but in this fic, there is a contract that both parties sign to protect themselves/establish rules and boundaries  
> 3\. They are both adults - the age difference is about 13 years, and Rey is 22
> 
> That being said, if you still want to read - buckle in for some quality flangst, a touch of fantasy, and a dash (more than a dash) of smut (kinky smut).

“Mr. Dameron?”

 _Oh, please be Mr. Dameron,_ Rey prayed. She had wandered into the restaurant a few minutes early, only to be told by the hostess that her date was already here. The knowing smile on her face made Rey nervous - did she know what Rey was there for? - and gestured towards the back corner. 

 _I don’t know what he looks like!_ Rey had wanted to scream.  _My roommate’s older sister set this up because she knows I’m broke and lonely, and she just happened to know a guy who was kinda into buying things for younger women. Just take me out back and shoot me now, thanks!_

Instead, Rey had thanked the hostess and wandered into the seating area. Half the restaurant was full, and then in the back corner, against a window offering a gorgeous view, was a table with a man at it. And the man, well. He was  _hot._

“ _What do I do if he’s creepy?” Rey had wailed, last minute, while Rose finished putting on her makeup. She was wearing a pink dress, borrowed from Kaydie, and white flats, and looked generally very much her twenty-two years. Which was..probably the point, in retrospect._

_“Do you have so little faith in Paige that you’d think he’d be creepy?” Rose had fired back, and Rey had to sigh in acknowledgement. Paige wouldn’t throw her to the wolves._

And the man sitting at the table was far from creepy. Mid-thirties, wild, unruly black curls -   grey starting to come in at his temples - tan skin, broad shoulders. His suit was grey, and nice. Rey didn’t know a lot about men’s fashion. But she knew that had to be a nice suit. He was even wearing a waistcoat.  _Hello, Mr. Darcy._  

So, when she stood in front of him and said his name timidly, praying to all the gods in the pantheon that she was right, she was almost entirely unprepared for how dazzling his smile was. 

“That’s me. Poe Dameron,” he said, standing smoothly and holding out his hand. He was maybe two inches taller than her, and she realized that was probably why Rose hadn’t forced her into heels. She wouldn’t complain. He was muscular though, much broader than she was.  _Stop checking him out and introduce yourself!_ the part of her with manners snarled.  _But he’s my date, I’m allowed to check him out!_ the animal part of her wailed.

“I’m Rey,” she said, shaking his offered hand. She was immediately flustered at how warm he was, how nice the callouses on his fingers felt, how - not weird he seemed.

“I know,” Mr, Dameron laughed and pulled out her chair.  _Didn’t guys only do that in movies?_ He waited for her to sit and then helped her push her chair in.

Well, it had been five seconds, and he was already better than her last twenty awkward Tinder dates combined. This couldn’t be that bad, right? 

“So,” she said, at the same time he said, “Paige mentioned-”

“You go first,” she said blushing, waving her hand at him. Mr. Dameron smiled softly and cleared his throat, settling his hands in his lap. He had impeccable posture, Rey noted. It made her sit up a little taller. 

“Paige mentioned that you had just graduated,” Mr. Dameron’s smile reached his eyes, causing the corners to crinkle. It made him look very kind. “So that means congratulations is in order.”

“Oh, thank you, but,” Rey began, but a waiter materialized - had she been that caught up in his eyes? They were, admittedly, gorgeous. 

“Here’s the ‘98 you requested,” the waiter popped the champagne and filled the glasses before Rey could blink. Dameron thanked the man and lifted his flute to Rey, and she stumbled to do the same. 

“To education, and hard work,” he said, not making it sound cheesy at all. Rey blushed and clinked her glass against his. Mr. Dameron drank his, the column of his throat moving in a highly distracting way, and Rey quickly looked down at the glass in her hand. “Not a champagne fan?” He asked, frowning slightly. “I can get a different wine, if you prefer. What’s your usual?” 

“Boxed?” Rey asked, tilting her head. Mr. Dameron’s face twitched, and then he laughed, loudly, real mirth lighting up his handsome face. Rey giggled self-consciously as well, and when he was done laughing, she said, “This bottle is only two years younger than I am, is all.”

“Ah yes, ‘96, hell of a vintage,” Mr. Dameron joked, and Rey relaxed slightly. It wasn’t a creepy comment, and he hadn’t leered at her when she brought up how young she was -  _I can do this. This is like a normal date. He’s just a terrifically handsome, charming, wealthy man who happens to be more than twelve years older than me._ When she sipped her champagne, she saw his eyes following her movements with interest, so she let how pleasant she found the drink show on her face, smiling happily. He seemed pleased and settled back against his chair.

“So I guess we should … talk about this,” Rey said, rubbing her arm. It was what she meant to say before.

“I guess we should,” Mr. Dameron confirmed. He adjusted his cuff links and looked at her. “We could do questions first? Rules, mutual interests. And, if you don’t hate me at the end of the night, we can decide what to do next.”

 _Oh jeez. He means -_ she wouldn’t mind sleeping with him, she knew. He was really, stupidly hot. And he seemed nice. But, she needed to know-

“Okay, questions.” She asked her most important one. “I don’t have to call you daddy, do I?” Rey asked. It was blunt, and he startled forward. She was pleased to see the tips of his ears turn red.

“You definitely don’t have to.” He shrugged and grinned. “It’s not really my thing, either. And I don’t really want to call you little girl, if that’s alright.”

“Thank fuck,” Rey sighed. He snorted a laugh into his water, which he’d been sneaking a sip of. “I just - can you tell I’m to new to all this?” She gestured around the restaurant and laughed. 

“Paige mentioned,” Poe laughed, more darkly than he had before, and  _God._ He had a nice laugh. It sat hot and low in her gut, and Rey blinked in surprise. All that from a laugh? Pull it together, Smith. 

“When we have sex–” Rey said, fists clenching under the table. She was stopped before she could go any further. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mr. Dameron held his hand up. It didn’t feel rude. More like, he just liked to talk with his hands. He had nice hands, Rey realized with a blush. “ _When?_ We have sex? No. No, sweetheart. It’s not a ‘when’ situation. This - we don’t have to have sex, ever. Unless we both want to.”

“So, what?” Rey said, brow furrowed. “You just buy me pretty things to wear and take me on dates and expect nothing in return?”

“I mean, you’ll be wearing those pretty things and going on dates with me.” Mr. Dameron’s smile was teasing, but not unkind. “That’s not nothing.”

“Okay.” Rey nodded and smiled across the table at him. Mr. Dameron’s smile faltered briefly in response, and she worried that she had something on her face - ridiculous, considering she hadn’t eaten anything yet.

Speaking of, the waiter came back, and Poe’s attention briefly diverted to talk to him. “And how are you today, Ralph?”

“Fine, thanks, Poe.” Ralph sighed and shook his head. “May’s sick right now, so just a little tired.”

“God, she’s what, ten months now?” Poe shook his head in wonder. “Give my best to Sara, would you?” 

“Of course,” Ralph grinned at Mr. Dameron, and Rey realized how often the older man must come here that he knew people’s life story. “Now what can I get for you two?” He smiled at Rey, who looked nervously at the menu. A lot of it looked like things she’d never heard of. Like, what the fuck was  _Fourchu_ lobster? Did you get four lobsters with it?  _You better, with that cost._

She closed her menu and looked at Mr. Dameron shyly. “I trust your judgement.”

And God, that inspired a reaction. His pupils  _dilated._ She could see it even in the lower lighting of the restaurant. The lights of the cityscape fell over his face - and Jesus, was the guy carved from marble? He was the definition of classically handsome - and he looked at her for a long moment, Rey fidgeting under the ferocity of it, before ordering so rapidly, she could barely keep up. He handed the menus to Ralph with thanks and returned his attention to Rey. Who’d been staring at him the whole time. Which was now obvious. God.

“Can I ask a personal question?” He asked, and Rey nodded. He waited, though, and she realized he wanted her to respond verbally.

“Yes, of course,” Rey said. “This is uh - already pretty personal. You can ask me whatever you want.”

“What’s a pretty little thing like you want out of this relationship?” He sounded almost … self-deprecating.

She wasn’t expecting that. She was expecting  _do you like your hair pulled during sex_ (she hadn’t in the past, but damn she’d try with him), or  _what’s your favorite color._ Rey responded with honesty because she always did. Bad habit of hers. 

“I’m … I’ve been alone my whole life, fighting for whatever I had,” she said softly. “I can’t - it’s hard for me to let people in because I assume they’re going to let me down. I just want…” she blushed, hard, but forced herself to say it, staring down at her place setting. “I just want someone to take care of me, for once.”

“Sweetheart.” Mr. Dameron reached across the table and took one of her fidgeting hands. She looked up at him when he stroked his thumb over her knuckles. “It’d be a genuine pleasure to take care of you.”

He meant it. She’d always been able to tell when people were lying, part of the armor she’d been forced to adopt in the foster system - Mr. Dameron meant it, and she let hope spill out in her heart, spreading through her body, for the first time in years.

“Yeah?” She whispered. 

“For as long as you want me.” His answer was solemn, serene, but tinged with sadness. Rey flipped her hand so her fingers wove through his.

“I think you’ll be stuck with me for a while then,” she answered. His thumb drifted over the thin skin of her inner wrist. 

“I like the sound of that.”

 “We should really talk about a contract,” Mr. Dameron said after he’d paid the bill – he’d frowned when Rey instinctively reached for the check, and she’d sat on her hands, blushed and whispered _sorry,_ which seemed to more than mollify him.

 “A contract?” She blinked, twice, trying to understand. “I’m sorry, but what do I need a contract for?” She hated documentation. Hated it. She had a file at her apartment, filled to the brim with _documents._ Her intake form from when she was five, and they had found her in that wretched place. The subsequent stacks of forms from foster homes she’d been dragged to after they couldn’t find any family; the foster homes she ran away from (police reports to go with that, reports listing her runaway status), and then dragged back to. The forms Unkar Plutt had filled out when he’d gotten his hands on her at fourteen –

The form he’d made her sign at 18, promising she wouldn’t work anywhere but at his junkyard. Finn had found that one, right after they’d become friends, and shook his head violently, loudly insisting _this isn’t legal, Peanut, he can’t hold you to this,_ and she hadn’t believed him, had cried and insisted it was real, she belonged to Plutt, belonged in the junk, and Finn had called Ben Solo, a friend of a friend who was a high-powered lawyer who sat her down and shook his head and told her she was free.

He’d also encouraged her to burn the document, to kill her past – but Rey liked reminders. She needed to remember not to trust people.

So when Mr. Dameron said _contract,_ she balked. “There’s no need,” she said, as Mr. Dameron tilted his head at her, not quite frowning, but not looking happy either. “I won’t – I wouldn’t tell anyone about … what we are.”

He frowned softly and shook his head. “No, Rey, it’s not just an NDA, although that’s part of it. This would be to protect you just as much as me. Make it clear what you should expect, and what I should expect from this. I’ll have my lawyer write something up, and we can look it over at lunch next week.”

And Rey had agreed because something about the soft openness of his face made her believe him, made her believe it was for her own good, and then she went home and writhed against her sheets, her skin too small for her body. Before she could fall asleep, her phone buzzed on the floor next to her mattress, and she rolled over to check it.

Her phone was a second generation iPhone that she’d salvaged from the trash – had watched, indignant, as a frat boy had chucked it the second he opened his new phone – and kept alive through sheer skill. Sure, she was mildly worried it might actually catch fire some day soon, but it worked. And she’d pieced it together, kept it alive. It was _hers._ But she didn’t often get texts.

[Unknown Number]: I had a great time tonight, sweetheart. I hope you sleep well.

Rey blushed. No one had ever sent her a goodnight text before. She had a limited data plan though, so she fretted about sounding a response – _you could ask him to get you the next step up in your data plan,_ the calm, calculating part of her brain pointed out – but then she did, not wanting to seem rude. And it was sweet of him to think of her.

She saved him to her contacts ( _you have five full friends now, Smith!_ ) and then responded.

[Rey]: Thank you for dinner, Mr. Dameron. Can’t wait to see you next week. Xx.

She fired it off before she could think better of it and then shrieked quietly into her pillow. She was _never_ that flirty. X’s? Like she was in middle school still? Rey Smith, who never so much as sent a folded-up love note to a would-be paramour, suddenly dotting her texts with kisses – what was next? _Emojis_?

What the fuck.

She hadn’t even done it to be performative, she knew. She … really wanted Mr. Dameron to think she had a good time. She wanted to make him happy.

Fuck. If only she could afford therapy.

Rey giggled hysterically at the thought of asking her sugar daddy to pay for a few sessions of therapy, _I mean, I clearly have some unresolved issues,_ but then frowned. She knew, really, why the idea of a contract had bothered her. It, like all the other documents in her life, would be a constant reminder of what she was. An accessory, an unnecessary addition, something that could be removed and moved and taken away, left behind.

Rey didn’t want to be a piece of paper to Poe Dameron. She wanted to be more. Wanted him to smile at her on her own merit, not because she was a young woman who agreed to spend time with him in a monetary, controlled transaction. She wanted to – to  --

God. She was already fucked.

***

Across town, in a penthouse that overlooked the majority of Coruscant, Poe Dameron looked up from the open document that his lawyer had finished, express, this evening. There’d been past documents to start from, of course, from other girls who’d entered into this arrangement with him – but Poe wanted it to be perfect. It needed to be perfect, and different, and he was probably being selfish, but he wanted more than anything for this to work. Not fizzle out after three months when the girl moved on, understandably, to a younger, more suitable man, one who wasn’t quite as fucked up, one who didn’t hide behind his money as a poor exchange for intimacy.

His phone had buzzed – it was past midnight, and he hadn’t expected a response, but his heart skipped a beat, seeing the now-familiar name on the screen.

[Rey Smith, 12:21 a.m.]: Thank you for dinner, Mr. Dameron. Can’t wait to see you next week. Xx.

He groaned and buried his face in his hands. He hadn’t even _asked_ her to call him Mr. Dameron. A part of him – unconquerable, so it would seem – almost wanted to let slip his military career, let her know that it was technically _Major_ Dameron. But wouldn’t that call forth a whole lot of uncomfortable questions that he’d feel obligated to answer? Poe shook his head. That was the beauty of this arrangement. They didn’t need to ask each other uncomfortable questions.

 _But I’d tell her,_ he thought randomly. _I don’t know why, but I would._ Poe clenched his fist and stood to fix a drink. He stood in the window overlooking the city and sighed through his nose. Three hours with her, and she’d gotten under his skin. What was he doing?

It started when he realized she had _no_ idea who he was. At first, he worried that Paige had told her to play it cool, to not let it slip that she recognized his name, his story. But Rey Smith was guileless. She blushed and giggled and had no idea which utensil to use and when – and he was charmed. Immediately. The second she said his name, _Mr. Dameron_? the syllables sounding so damn right in her voice, rounded slightly by a British accent – he knew. He didn’t want to mess this one up.

Poe went back to the contract only to save his changes and then headed to bed, a full two hours earlier than normal. He looked at the text one last time, greedily, before he fell asleep, focusing on the two small x’s at the end of the text.

Maybe she’d let him kiss her.

 _There’s a thought_.


	2. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey meet to discuss the terms of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poe has some seriously #adult fantasies about Rey at the end! (There won't be actual sex until much later in the fic, though, and they'll talk about it/discuss consent etc beforehand when that happens)

Drawing up the contract was not nearly as awkward as Rey feared it would be. A car had pulled up outside the coffeeshop she was studying at – even if she couldn’t afford fall tuition for her Master’s, she could always keep studying, and the coffeeshop had free WiFi – and Rey waved at the driver nervously.

“Ms. Smith?” The man unfolded himself from the car and opened up the door for her. Rey frowned – she really could have done that for herself, no need to inconvenience anyone – and nodded.

“I’m Rey,” she said, sticking her hand out. The chauffeur raised his eyebrows but took the offered hand.

“Snap Wexley,” he said cheerfully. Rey hopped in, and he returned to the driver’s seat. It was a nice car, and Rey hummed appreciatively at the sound of the engine. It was efficient, and no-nonsense, and probably the nicest car she’d sat in – she’d taken apart nicer ones, of course, but she was sitting _in_ this, which was worlds different.

“Do you work for Mr. Dameron?” Rey asked curiously while they pulled away from the curb.

“I do!” Snap grinned at her in the rearview mirror, and Rey smiled back.

“For how long?” She asked, fiddling with the strap of her bag, an old crossbody she’d found thrifting six months ago.

“I left the Army a year ago, and Mr. Dameron offered me the job so I could work while I went to school,” Snap said, turning left and getting on the expressway towards uptown. The sky lightened up considerably while they drove around from her side of town, which Rey rolled her eyes at. Of course rich people got nicer weather, too.

“Oh! What are you studying?” She could see a stack of textbooks on the front seat, and Snap’s neck turned a little red.

“Aeronautics and engineering. It makes sense, right?”

Rey frowned. The comment didn’t make a lot of sense, but she didn’t want to be rude. “Aeronautics is super cool,” she enthused, slightly wincing at her diction. Whatever. She was young, she could sound young. And it _was_ super cool. “I went for Mechanical Engineering, myself. I love taking things apart and putting them back together. Got me in trouble a lot when I was younger.”

 _Got me evicted from more than one house._ She didn’t add that part.

Snap laughed and shook his head. “I can’t imagine you being in trouble.”

“And what does that mean?” Rey pretended to sound indignant.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just supposed to believe that you were a troublemaker, ever. Your shirt has _daisies_ on it, Ms. Smith.”

“It’s just Rey,” she corrected hurriedly, and she snorted, looking down at her outfit. A comfortable grey shirt with daisies on it, skinny jeans, and converse. “Maybe these are poisonous daises. Real bad ass stuff. Weaponized flora.”

Snap laughed harder at that, and they spent the rest of the drive snarking back and forth.

She felt much more relaxed by the time they pulled up outside of an upscale restaurant. Rey shook her head when they got out, sliding quickly to beat Snap to the door. He huffed in pretend annoyance, and Rey stuck her tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out back, and Rey heard a familiar voice.

“Rey?” She and Snap startled apart, both looking like kids who’d gotten their hands caught in a cookie jar.

“Mr. Dameron!” She squeaked. God. Oh God.

He was even hotter than she remembered. All the research she’d done the last four days threatened to fall right out of her head at the sight of him. He was wearing a plum button down tucked into grey pants, and his hair was much more tame today. Was this his lunch hour? Did he work? Rey stumbled forward, and when he held his hand out, she took it, expecting them to shake again.

He kissed her knuckles instead, bending at the waist to brush his lips over her hand, and Rey shivered, not unpleasantly. Her skin prickled into gooseflesh despite the fact that it was seventy degrees, and Mr. Dameron looked up at her under hooded eyes. They held eye contact for easily five seconds, long, agonizing, eternal seconds, and Snap cleared his throat.

“I’ll get going then,” Snap said, and Rey startled and looked back at him.

“It was lovely to meet you, Snap!” She beamed at him.

“It was absolutely a pleasure to meet you as well, Rey.” He tipped his hat at her, got in the car, and pulled away back into the light traffic of mid-day.

“Charming my employees?” Mr. Dameron asked, and Rey looked over at him, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Should I be worried?”

“Definitely.” Rey smirked at him before she remembered why they were there, and she frowned at the building behind him. “Why do I get the feeling that a plate in there costs more than what I spend on utilities each month?”

“I mean, it probably does,” Mr. Dameron sounded unbothered, and Rey sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not dressed very nicely,” she pointed out. “When you said lunch, I was thinking, like, burgers or something.”

“I’m fairly certain they serve hamburgers here,” he teased. “And if they don’t, I could ask them to.” She had a feeling people didn’t say no to Mr. Dameron; he was an odd combination of charismatic and demanding. She fidgeted all the same. “What is it?” He looked concerned now.

“Could we – could we go somewhere less fancy?” Rey asked. He opened his mouth, probably to argue, but she plowed forward. “I just – the idea of sitting somewhere nice, looking like I don’t belong, when I already know I don’t – it’s really stressful.”

The therapist she’d managed to see for five months in undergrad was probably applauding somewhere. Mr. Dameron looked taken aback, like that honestly hadn’t occurred to him.

“Of course,” he said smoothly. “I’ll just step inside and cancel the reservation. Do you want to look at Yelp and see what’s in walking distance?” He smiled at her and went into the building, and Rey opened her phone, calculated how much data it would take to download an app like Yelp – she tried opening her browser, remembered that she turned off data for Chrome, and went back in to turn it on in her settings.

She was still fumbling when Mr. Dameron returned. “Sorry!” She stammered. Making people – especially men who were larger than her – unhappy still freaked her out, even after years of self-defense classes and a complete awareness that she could take down most people with extreme ease. She just did not like to displease people. Ingrained reaction. “Sorry, so sorry, my phone is –“

“On its last legs?” Mr. Dameron didn’t sound condescending, but he did shoot her phone a weird look before pulling out his own – and was that model even _out_ yet? – and typing in something rapidly. She saw a folder tucked under his arm, and she squirmed realizing that must be the fabled contract. A pen was in his front pocket, and the sunlight was hitting his cheekbones just right, and –

“Good hamburgers, two blocks over,” he reported, grinning at her when he looked up and caught her staring. “Do I have something on my face?”

There were a hundred and one witty comebacks she could have gone with, but Rey opened her mouth and said, “You’re just really handsome, is all.”

Oh, fuck you, Smith.

His grin softened into something that made her heart clench, and he held out his arm for her to take, nodding in the direction of the new restaurant. Rey unthinkingly slipped her hand through his own, and not through his elbow, realizing halfway through her motion what he had intended. He didn’t seem to mind. At least, she hoped he didn’t.

“So, I saw the address you sent.” She’d dropped a pin at the coffeeshop. She wasn’t ready for him to see where she lived. “Do you go to that coffeeshop often?”

“Yeah,” Rey smiled at the sidewalk while they walked. “Maz has really good tea.” _And she lets me drink it for free, a pastry thrown in too, if I fix her appliances every now and then._ “And it’s in walking distance of my apartment, which is nice.”

“You live with Paige’s younger sister, right? Rosie?”

“Don’t let her hear you call her that,” Rey laughed. “Rose hasn’t gone by that nickname for as long as I’ve known her.”

“I knew her when she was a lot younger, I guess,” Mr. Dameron allowed, and she snuck a glance at him. He looked thoughtful, and he wasn’t looking at her, so she re-directed her attention to the sidewalk.

“But she is my roommate, yeah,” Rey remembered that he’d asked her a question. “For now.” She lived in a nicer apartment, for now. She had someone to come home to, for now.

“Moving soon?” They turned left and continued walking down the block. The storefronts looked a little more accessible, a little more homey now, and Rey saw a diner at the bottom of the hill. She hoped that was their destination.

“Rose is moving out with her boyfriend, Finn. He’s my best friend,” Rey said that last part proudly. Finn Trooper was the best person she knew – they’d even tried the romance thing when they were 18, but after a disastrous series of events and dates, they’d laughed and decided to be platonic soulmates; he’d met Rose a year later, and they’d been together ever since. “And they want their own place.”

They’d invited her to come with them, of course, but the rent was just a little more than she could afford, and she _knew_ they were just being nice. Because they were both nice people. No one would really want her tagging along when they were starting a nice, new shiny life.

“So you’re hunting for a new apartment, then?” They were slowing as they neared the diner, and Rey’s stomach rumbled in anticipation. If he heard, he didn’t comment. “I know a realtor who can help you find a good deal.”

Christ. If the apartments she were looking at required a realtor, she probably wouldn’t be here right now. She’d be swimming in a tub full of money, like Scrooge McDuck. Unbidden, the image of Poe Dameron swimming in a bathtub of money came to mind, which made her snort and also blush.

“No, no,” Rey said as he opened the door for her, and she walked into the diner. “No, I’ll find something.” She actually had her eye on a place for 900 a month. It was over in Niima, a neighborhood of Coruscant that was less than stellar, but it was near the bus stop, and the metro, and the building had a lot of families in it, so it couldn’t be that bad.

They seated themselves, which already meant this place was more her speed. Rey didn’t even bother looking at the menu, just chirped “Biggest burger you have!” at the waitress, who snorted at Rey’s eagerness, and then looked over at Mr. Dameron.

He was regarding the menu with a strange look on his face, and when the waitress cleared her throat, he startled. “I’ll have the biscuits and gravy, thanks.” The waitress nodded and walked away, and Rey leaned over the table to smirk at him.

“Biscuits and gravy?” She teased. “Do you even know what gravy is?”

“It’s basically meat in condiment form, right?” He was absolutely deadpan, and Rey rolled her eyes at him. The food came out alarmingly quickly after they’d made some more small talk, and she wasted no time hoovering down her entire burger.

Mr. Dameron had eaten about half of a biscuit, slathered in homemade gravy, by the time she crunched her last pickle spear. He looked absolutely shocked, and mildly impressed. “Hungry?” He asked. “Or are you practicing for some kind of competition.”

“Where I grew up, you ate your food quick before someone could take it away from you,” Rey shrugged. “If they even bothered feeding you.” She frozen taking a sip of her water at the look on Mr. Dameron’s face.

He set his fork and knife down carefully. “What?” He asked. His stare was arresting, and Rey couldn’t look away. She flushed with embarrassment, then. She shouldn’t dump this on him. Whatever was going on between them, it didn’t come with the necessity of him shouldering her tragic backstory.

“Nothing.” Rey whispered and looked out the window. “Nothing that matters.”

“Are you sure about that?”

She didn’t answer the question, and instead asked one of her own. “So. The contract?” She nodded her head towards the folder he’d set down next to him on the table. Rey wiped her fingers on her napkin and reached out for it. “May I?” Mr. Dameron handed it over, but he looked no less pensive while she opened the folder.

Her brow furrowed while the unfamiliar words swam past her eyes. A lot of legal jargon, something about ‘discretion’ and ‘privacy’ – this must be the NDA. She shrugged. “This part looks fine, I don’t intend on telling anyone. I mean, Rose knows because of Paige, but Finn’s my only other friend, and he isn’t very nosy.” She held her hand out without looking up, and Mr. Dameron placed the pen in her palm. Rey signed quickly and flipped to the next page.

“Oh.” She squinted and frowned – why did legal documents have to have such tiny font – at the list of clauses Mr. Dameron had provided. “Three dates or events a week, maximum, one date a week, minimum…provision of allowance…” there was a blank next to ‘ in the amount of,’ and she looked up at her dining partner.

Mr. Dameron smiled at her. “I figured you could give me a figure, and we could write it in.”

“Uhm,” Rey looked down and then back up and then back down. “Well...I mean, isn’t like, twenty dollars normal?”

“…An hour?” Mr. Dameron’s face twisted in confusion when she glanced at him.

“No, like, a week.” Rey snorted. “God, Mr. Dameron, my job doesn’t even pay me twenty dollars an hour.”

“You want an allowance of twenty dollars a week?” Mr. Dameron still didn’t look any less confused, but amusement was creeping into the corners of his expression.

“What?” Rey closed the folder to wave it at him. “I saw it on TV once. Allowances are like, twenty dollars a week.”

“Sweetheart.” Mr. Dameron reached across the table, and she took his hand without thinking. His thumb stroked over the back of her hand soothingly, and she took a deep breath, waiting for him to speak. “How about we set it at 2000 and move on from there?”

“Two…thousand…” Rey spluttered for a minute and then shook her head. “No. No, it’s too much.”

“I want to give it to you,” he said. “Please. It’s…sort of part of this.” Rey frowned and then tapped her fingers against the folder. She owed about 50 grand in student loans from undergrad…twenty five or so weeks of this, and she could pay it off. And hadn’t she _just_ read, bolded, underlined, in red: ‘no sexual contact shall be expected as part of the relationship; any sexual contact will be initiated by both parties and under full, adult consent of both parties outside of the pre-arranged relationship.’ It’s not like taking his money meant that she was expected to do sex work. And she’d even considered that method of paying the bills a few times in her life – she just didn’t like the idea of sex enough to consider it, preferring to work with her hands.

What an odd arrangement she’d stumbled into, then. Paige Tico would either prove to be her salvation or her destruction.

Mr. Dameron was still talking while the gears of her mind whirred. “… We can always increase it later, if you want, but that would be your independent spending money. It’d be nice if you bought things, and I could see you using them, of course, it’s…something I’m interested in, but then there will be the things that I buy for you, and –”

“Okay.” Rey cut him off and flipped the folder back open. She scrawled $ _2000_ in the space provided in the allowance clause and then signed rapidly at the bottom of the page. “This all looks good.”

“There’s still another page.” His smile was impossibly fond, considering this was their second meeting, and Rey turned to the next page. “And if there’s anything you want to change, let me know.” Her eyes skipped down the page, catching on certain phrases:

_R. S will let P. Dameron know of any necessary expense, so that he may cover it_

_R. S will consent to weekends away, not to exceed one weekend per month –_

_R. S be provided one copy of key to P. Dameron’s Coruscant residence, to be used at signatory’s discretion, but to be surrendered at the termination of contract –_

_This contract will be revisited and edited as needed, or terminated, in three months, on September 15, 2018._

“Three months?” Rey asked, not looking up.

“It’s to see if this works out,” he said steadily, as if expecting the question. “This would be a sort of probationary period, where we learn about each other, see if we’re compatible to continue in this sort of arrangement. Either one of us can agree to terminate it before then, however. We’d just have to sit down and renew it by that date.”

Rey shrugged and signed the last few lines, initialing here and there where necessary – noting that he’d already filled out his lines  – before closing the folder carefully. “Can I … can I have a copy of this?”

“I’ll have it sent to your apartment later today,” he smiled and took the last bite of his meal, sopping up the gravy with his biscuit. “God, I haven’t had this in forever.”

“It’s fairly easy to get,” Rey teased. “I’m sure one of your cooks could make it for you.”

“My mom used to make it, actually,” Mr. Dameron said quietly. “Haven’t had it since she passed.”

“Oh.” Rey flailed internally. She didn’t know if her mom had been a cook. Her mom wasn’t even really much of a mom. Is now when she should say _well, my mom sold me for drugs when I was four, so …_? She went for, “Was she southern?”

Was. She. Southern.

WhatthefuckiswrongwithyouRey?!?

Mr. Dameron didn’t seem affronted by the question, but the sadness in his eyes dimmed somewhat. “No, actually, she was Cuban. But she moved to the South when she was a kid, and that was one of her favorite foods. It always reminds me of her, though, when I see it or think of it.”

“Food connects us to our past,” Rey said. “Reminds us of who we were, and who we are.” She was thinking, in all honesty, of the meal she’d eaten at 14, after Unkar had beaten her again for breaking something that she had sworn was already broken, the half-mangled sandwich she found out back of a restaurant in town – she’d eaten it, lip still bleeding, her hands raw and sore from working too much, but she’d eaten it, and she’d known she’d survive, no matter what, she could do any fucking thing she wanted to, if she could only survive, and –

Mr. Dameron beamed at her, breaking her reverie. He had no idea the turn her thoughts had taken, obviously, and Rey wasn’t about to tell him. “Exactly.” He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through for a fifty – Rey’s eyes almost fell out of her head while she watched him go through his wallet (and she totally would have pickpocketed him six years ago, the man had more money than God, what the ever loving fuck, there had to be more than eight hundred dollars in there). He set the money on the table and held his hand out for her. She didn’t hesitate in taking it, and they strolled out onto the street, the folder in his free hand.

“So,” he said, releasing her hand to take out his phone. He typed quickly while talking. “I have an event on Friday. I’d like for you to be my date. It’s black tie; send me your measurements, and I’ll take care of everything.” Mr. Dameron finished typing, and he smiled at her look of surprise. “Send me your address too, will you? I’d like to send the copies of these forms over, and probably a few other things.”

“Okay.” Rey nodded, unquestioningly, but then she remembered – “Um. Would it be alright – I mean, if I came to you? After I got ready? I don’t want – it’s just.” Rey sighed and buried her face in her hands. “Your car would stick out on my street, and I want to respect your privacy.” _Also, I live in general squalor and I’d rather die than see you figure out where to hang your Armani jacket in my shitty ass apartment._

“Of course.” Mr. Dameron smiled at her, and Rey sighed in relief, dropping her hands from her face. “Until Friday, then?”

“Until Friday,” she confirmed. Rey leaned in and kissed his cheek on impulse. “And don’t worry about sending for Snap, I can get home just fine on my own.” She squeezed his upper arm and darted down the street towards the metro before he could fight her on it or even say goodbye.

Friday. Three days away. She could do this.

She paused right before swiping her metro card at the entrance to the station – fuck. Now she needed to shave.

***

Poe watched the girl leave with utter bemusement. She was fiercely independent, that much was sure – _twenty dollars?_ And she’d said it like it was a lot of money? God, he was going to have so much fun spoiling her rotten – and while normally that would have irritated him in this kind of arrangement, Rey blew off the normalcies of the typical dynamic with a mixture of bravado and innocence that was deeply, troublingly alluring.

He went back to work and left his phone in his bag during a series of meetings, but he had a text waiting for him in reward when he got out around 6:30.

[Rey Smith, 4:25 p.m.]: This is so weird to put in a text! But I’m 5’7”, and my measurements are 32, 23, 34. I’m a size four, I’m pretty sure, and I wear a size 8 shoe.

[Rey Smith, 4:26 p.m.]: Oh! And my favorite color is green. Anyway, thank you for lunch. See you on Friday. Xx

The damn kisses again. Poe was going to lose his fucking mind at the memory of her soft lips against his cheek from this afternoon – what had inspired her to do that? She had seemed almost as surprised as him at the action, and she’d scurried away before he could react properly.

Out of his last five relationships, all of which involved some version of the contract they’d signed today, three of them had been sexual. And they’d been deeply exploratory, very kinky – but ultimately a little dissatisfying, a little performative. The women had all assured him they enjoyed the sex, and he’d enjoyed it too, but he knew now he couldn’t look for sex while also paying someone’s way.

But Rey Smith’s large, doe eyes were just tempting enough for him to be inspired to think about, say, bending her over the desk in his office and fucking her forty stories off the ground, her breathy voice panting ‘Thank you Mr. Dameron, thank you’ with each thrust – maybe pressing her against the glass, stripping her completely naked while he took out his cock and remained completely dressed, holding her hands above her head while he fucked her from behind – setting her on his chair, throwing her legs over his shoulders, and finding out if she tasted as sweet as her laugh – running his hands over her lithe, perfect body, whispering how beautiful she was in her ear while he rocked into her gently, his name a soft exhalation in his ear while they both meandered their way to a warm, loving climax –

Holy shit. That was definitely a new one. Poe’s eyes flew open, and he dragged his hand over his face. He couldn’t expect that, any of that – especially not that last fantasy, where she was _very_ obviously his girlfriend – from her. It wouldn’t be fair.

He needed to regain some of his self-control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meep
> 
> Up next: Poe takes Rey as a date at an auction; she discovers just how wealthy he is, and a familiar face from their respective pasts stirs up some trouble at the event.


	3. Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives presents from Poe, and he enjoys her reactions; Rey prepares for her first official event as Poe's plus one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, so, this was supposed to be in the same chapter as the actual date (that I mentioned in last chapter's notes), but then I started writing, and this first half was almost 5000 words long, and I didn't want to post a 10,000 word chapter, so here is Part One of their first date, ~enjoy~

It was about six in the evening on Thursday when Poe received a text from Paige Tico. They’d been friends since their early twenties, and she’d supported him through the worst part of his life; and now, she’d introduced him to Rey, a bright spot of sorely needed sunshine in his life.

He settled into his armchair in his penthouse, kicked his shoes up on his coffee table (distantly apologizing to Shara Bey – he could feel her ghost smacking at his feet) and opened the message thread.

[Paige (The Boss), 5:56 p.m.]: She had no idea I was recording but she gave me the OK to send this

[Paige (The Boss), 5:56 p.m.]: Don’t say I didn’t ever give you nothin’, Dameron.

[Paige (The Boss), 5:56 p.m.] [ **Video file** ]

Poe clicked play on the blurry video thumbnail, and immediately the camera swiveled and focused on Rose Tico, Paige’s hilarious albeit inappropriate younger sister who he had grown incredibly fond of a decade ago when she was a bratty teenager, and he was a Complete Wreck.

Rose, in the video, was shouting, “ _Oh my GOD!_ ” from her position on a kitchen stool, and Paige was heard laughing heartily behind the camera. The frame shifted downwards and to the side, where there was a stack of boxes and Rey Smith, sitting on the living room floor, cross-legged with a small, distinctive white box in her lap. The lid had been set to the side, and her hand was covering her mouth as she looked  into the box.

He’d remembered from a brief conversation with Paige that Rey hated tall heels, so he hoped the Manolo Blahnik pumps in the box fit the criteria of cute and comfortable – they were sling backs, low block heels, and he’d sent a pair, size 8, in both black and rose gold.

Paige zoomed in further on Rey’s face, and she asked, “ _What you got there, Rey?_ ”

The woman in question looked up at the camera, her hand still in front of her mouth, and Poe found himself settling in further to his seat, cupping the phone with both hands and grinning down at it stupidly. Rey’s eyes were honestly sparkling, her cheeks pink, the blush extended to the tips of her (very cute) ears. She squeaked in response and carefully lifted the tissue paper to hold up one of the shoes, the rose gold.

“ _Lookin’ good, Cinderella,_ ” Rose teased off-camera, and Rey giggled, a bright and happy sound. She set the shoe down reverently, taking obvious care to fold the tissue paper back the way she’d found it, and then set the lid down just as slowly on top, pushing the box out of the way.

“ _Another! Another!_ ” Rose hollered from her place by the counter. Rey bit her bottom lip and looked at the stack doubtfully.

“ _There’s so many,_ ” she breathed in disbelief, and Poe leaned in further to watch the video, drawn in physically by the sound of her slightly accented voice. “ _I don’t – should – should I maybe open one a day? To make it last_?”

“No!” Poe shouted indignantly at his phone, simultaneously with Rose.

“ _Open them all, Rey, or I will_ ,” Rose threatened. Poe snorted at the huffy look on Rey’s face, and she stuck her tongue out adorably at her friend before pulling another box onto her lap.

He’d sent a variety of shoes, the Manolos being the nicest, and some jewelry, and another item that he’d bought on a whim after talking to one of the guys down in Engineering.

Rey opened each box with increasing enthusiasm, her face growing pinker and pinker while Rose and Paige shouted their approval. She reached the box of the gift he’d picked out after their first dinner together, and she slid her finger under the tape of the wrapping paper.

“ _Just rip it,_ ” Paige suggested. Rey screwed up her face as though the idea was physically painful.

“ _That’s wasteful,_ ” she said, continuing to undo each fold of the gift wrap slowly and deliberately. “ _We can reuse this later._ ”

“I’ll buy you hundreds of rolls of wrapping paper,” Poe promised, smiling at Rey’s thoughtfulness at the same time an odd twinge pulled behind his heart. His mother had been much the same way when he was growing up, a result of being an immigrant whose family had come over with nothing but their name. 

Rey pulled out the card he’d left tucked into the paper, and she read it aloud. “ _I read this a few years back, and it didn’t make any sense to me, but I thought you would like it. Sorry if you’ve already read it. Xo, Poe._ ” Rey squirmed when she read his closing, an act that he and both Tico sisters found precious.

“More where that came from, sweetheart,” he muttered, laughing at how easily he’d started talking to himself (laughing less at the idea that he’d rather have her here to talk to, God, he was so fucked, and they’d spent less than six hours together).

On screen, Rey had covered her mouth again, and Rose was pestering her to show them what it was. The tissue paper rattled while Rey lifted the book he’d snagged on an online auction a few days prior, and she held up the black volume with shaking hands.

“ _What is it?_ ” Paige asked.

“ _Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,_ ” Rey breathed the name and made it sound holier than the Bible. “ _I’ve only – I only have that copy from the thrift store._ ”

“ _Isn’t that your favorite book?_ ” It was the most serious Rose had sounded the whole video, and she entered the frame to sit across from Rey. She held her small hand out, and Rey set the book down carefully in her waiting palm, and Rose examined it. _“How did he know_?”

“ _I have no idea,_ ” Rey shook her head. Poe thanked each of his lucky stars that he’d spoken to Tim on Monday, and his memory had been jogged about that book. Honestly, he’d had no idea it was her favorite book (and he made a mental note to ask Rey to set up a wish list he could consult; he’d been lucky today, didn’t mean he always would be. Poe Dameron understood all too well the pain of having luck run out), but Paige walked closer to see the book too, and the camera caught the tears glittering in Rey’s eyes.

Poe paused the video for a second and blew a tense breath out – his reaction to Rey opening presents was entirely visceral, and like nothing he’d ever experienced this soon into this kind of relationship – or more honestly, ever. He’d spend every day for the foreseeable future buying her gifts just to see if it inspired that genuine reaction every time – there’d been no art, no artifice to her delighted squeals and deep inhales. And her last reaction, it damn near bowled him over with the intensity of pride he felt watching how happy the item had made her.

He watched the last sixteen seconds of the video, which involved Rey opening the book and screaming “ _Oh my god, it’s signed!_ ” and then jumping up and out of the room, ostensibly to her bedroom, based on Rose’s comment of “ _She’s probably going to sleep with that under her pillow, now._ ”

He closed the video and saved it to his camera roll before shooting Paige a text thanking her for the video. Poe now planned to be physically present for the next giving of gifts, and he smiled, lost in the thought, only to be disrupted by the vibration of his phone.

Expecting Paige, he was more than pleasantly surprised to see the caller ID listing ‘Rey Smith.” He picked up immediately and was already smiling when he said, “Hey, sweetheart.”

“I wanted to say,” Rey was whispering into the phone, and he could hear loud laughter and catcalls, muffled as though she’d hidden behind a door or in a different room, “That your gifts were incredibly nice, and, and more than you had to do, and I don’t know how I can –”

“Rey, it was my pleasure,” Poe assured her smoothly. “Do you have a favorite pair of shoes for our date tomorrow.” _Not date, event. Come on, Dameron, you’re better than this._ _Stick to the arrangement you made with her._

“I do!” Rey giggled nervously and there were a few beats of comfortable silence before she sighed. There was a soft sound of contact, and he imagined her leaning her head against the wall, the phone nestled between her ear and shoulder. The image made him feel terribly fond. “How was your day?”

“Really good,” Poe answered, smiling like an idiot. “The best part was getting to watch you open your presents.”

“Yeah?” She sounded soft, unsure.

“Absolutely.” Another quiet moment, and then, “I’m looking forward tomorrow. Do you want to come over here to make sure the dress fits before? I know you talked about getting ready at your apartment, but it might be easier for you to get dressed here.” _Greedy, greedy man, more than she agreed to, more than you asked for_ –

“I’d love to,” Rey said. “But what color shoe should I bring?”

“Black,” he said decisively, fingers already tapping against his knee in anticipation. _Fuck, why wasn’t it tomorrow yet?_ “I’ll send the car for you around six?”

“I can Uber,” Rey said quickly. “Seriously, send me your address, I’m not sure where I’ll be at six, so—”

“Fine,” Poe rolled his eyes, glad she couldn’t see him. She’d probably stick her tongue out at him like she had to Rose, and then where would he be? Flirting like the devil with a girl who didn’t want him as a boyfriend, trying to steal a kiss, making a fool of himself. “Next time, though.”

“Mhm,” Rey yawned sleepily in the background – charming, considering it wasn’t even dinner time yet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow.” He repeated, his thumb stroking anxiously over the side of the phone.

“And thank you, Mr. Dameron,” Rey whispered. She hung up before he could come up with a mildly coherent response.

He checked the time – 6:15 pm – and groaned, tilting his head back onto the chair. “Fuck,” he grumbled.

Twenty-four hours, and then he’d see Rey in person, see her wearing the shoes he’d picked out for her, help her into the dress he’d bought specifically for her, get to spend hours with her at his side – fuck, he couldn’t wait to show her off.

And yet, waiting was what he had to do.

“Fuckity fuck.”

**

***

Friday rolled around right on schedule, and Rey felt her skin vibrate with excitement all day. The shop was busy, which kept her slightly occupied, but she still let her mind wander, back to the boxes she’d gotten yesterday, back to the memory of soft brown eyes and a strong jaw, back to the contract and her quickly growing concern that she was reading far too much into what truly amounted to a business transaction for Mr. Dameron.

It was the last thought that distracted her literally to the point of pain – she wasn’t being careful after using the torch, and brushed the small part of her arm not protected by her coveralls and gloves against the burning hot metal. She hissed in pain and shook her hand, trying to soothe the irritated skin. It was already blistering, roughly an inch long on her forearm, and Rey huffed in annoyance that it would probably show at tonight’s event.

She walked to the employee bathroom to run cold water over the burn, and then dug through their shitty first aid kit under she found a patch of clean gauze wide enough to tape over the burn. It wasn’t great first aid, but it would have to do. Couldn’t be getting an infection before her big night. She clocked out thirty five minutes later, and she grabbed her skateboard and raced home.

She texted Poe after stepping out of the shower to ask if 6:15 was an appropriate arrival time ( _I’m ready whenever you are, sweetheart,_ was his near-immediate response), and then called for Rose.

Her friend popped up in the doorway of the bathroom, and Rey grimaced at her in the mirror. “What do I do with my hair?” She asked timidly. Rose’s face lit up, and she scooted into the bathroom behind Rey, digging through the cabinets for a blow dryer, a round brush, and a disturbing about of hair product and bobby pins.

Twenty agonizing minutes later, Rose was applying make up quickly to Rey’s face, muttering about how lucky she was to not need it in the first place. Rey examined her roommate’s handiwork – her hair half-up, curling gently around her shoulders, some of her hair pinned back elegantly into a braided bun - admitting to herself that she did look a lot better than normal, while Rose raced into her bedroom and reemerged with the black pumps, a strapless bra, and simple black underwear to match.

“We don’t know what cut of dress he picked out, so we’ll go with strapless. Honestly, you could probably get away with not wearing a bra,” _thanks for the reminder, Rose._ “But, I don’t know if you want to deal with Poe ‘Heart Eyes’ Dameron realizing that you showed up sans bra.” _Fair enough._

Rey put on the bra and underwear, and Rose came back a second later with a button down and a skirt. “You will not _touch_ my masterpiece, you will not pull any clothing over my masterpiece, you will not upset my masterpiece,” she instructed Rey, who snorted and accepted the clothing. She dressed quickly, taking care not to upset ‘Rose’s Masterpiece,’ and then slipped the shoes into her purse with her wallet, phone, and keys.

“Your Uber’s here, I took the liberty of calling it for you so you didn’t try anything stupid like walking uptown,” Rose hollered from the kitchen.

“Thanks, Rose.” She absolutely would have tried that. Was she so predictable? Rose came out and gave her a quick hug.

“I feel like you’re going to prom,” she sniffed, wiping away fake tears. Rey poked her in the stomach, and Rose swatted her hand. “I’m not retaliating if only to protect—”

“The masterpiece, got it,” Rey giggled and bounced out the door. “See you at midnight, mom!”

“Not a minute later missy!” Rose yelled at her. “Unless you’re getting some. If you do, text me details!” Rey blushed furiously and kicked open the door to the street, jogging to the waiting car. She smiled at the driver and confirmed the address – a decent distance from her own modest apartment building, and she scowled briefly at the idea of Rose paying for the ride. But, her deposit from Poe was due to arrive tomorrow, so she could pay Rose back with that.

Rose’s departing words nagged at her on the entire drive over, causing her to retreat into her mind briefly. She certainly wouldn’t object to _getting some,_ as Rose had hollered – even if Poe hadn’t bought her anything, hadn’t begun to spoil her or make promises or arrange for hefty amounts of money to appear in her sad ass bank account, she’d definitely want to sleep with him. He was charming, funny, and thoughtful, and he’d magically been able to procure a copy of her favorite book (the price of which she had _definitely_ looked up, and then _definitely_ hyperventilated over).

She was in over her head, plain and simple, and she didn’t even know where Poe was taking her – no doubt someplace opulent, judging by the dress code, someplace she’d stick out like a poor, sore thumb. Should she put out, as Rose suggested? She hated feeling unsure of it – she always assumed she’d know the way to go, and she certainly was attracted to Poe in that way, but she was unsure if he returned that feeling, or if he’d even allow them to progress to that level (the contract had been so confusingly worded).

Her panic lasted as long as the car ride, but when the Uber pulled up in front of a high rise, her spirits calmed significantly at the sight of Poe Dameron waiting outside front doors. He was dressed in nice black pants, a white shirt tucked into them, the top buttons undone, a loose bow tie hanging from the collar. He looked like sin, and Rey’s mouth went dry immediately.

Yeah. She definitely wanted to get some. Damnit.

He walked to the Uber – her driver whistled and muttered, _damn, girl_ – and opened her door for her.

“Thank you,” he said calmly, extending a hand out to Rey, who took it, still struck silent by how good he looked. He helped her out of the sedan, and leaned in to hand the driver what was surely an obscene amount of money, based on the “ _daaaaaamn!_ ” it inspired.

“You pay for Uber on an app,” Rey said stupidly while the car pulled away from the curb, and they walked for the doors (Poe had yet to release her hand, a fact she certainly wasn’t fixating on).

Poe smiled at her softy while waving a plastic fob over a panel near the doors. They hissed open, and he ushered her inside. “I know,” he teased, and Rey blushed. “I wanted to tip him for bringing you here safely. Wish you would have let me send a car for you.”

“It was unnecessary,” Rey mumbled, flushing clear to her collarbone. She knew she was needlessly hung up on being an imposition – the whole point of this arrangement was for him to spend a shit ton of money on her – but she couldn’t let it go. “I don’t want anyone to go out of their way for me, is all.”

“I mean, it’s kind of the job description for a chauffeur,” Poe pointed out while waving to the concierge. They walked to the elevator farthest from the lobby doors, and he scanned his fob again.

 _Greetings, Mr. Dameron and Guest,_ a calm voice said when they entered the elevator.

Rey gripped Poe’s arm. “Holy _shit,_ it’s HAL!” She stage-whispered to Poe. He snorted and stroked his hand over hers as the elevator rose upwards swiftly.

“I don’t think it’s going to go homicidal,” Poe assured her. “But then again, I programmed it, and it’s always the creator they go after first, isn’t it?”

“Very Mary Shelley,” Rey said, and Poe nodded solemnly. She eyed the panel suspiciously, and the soft blue light blinking above the doors. “When that turns red,” she pointed up at the monitor, “I suggest taking the stairs.” Poe laughed, loud and clear, and Rey smiled in response to being responsible for him laughing.

The doors opened, and the elevator urged them to _Have a good day._

“I will,” Rey chirped at it before the doors hissed shut. She glowered at the shut doors. “You terrifying robot.”

“Hey now,” Poe’s voice was still teasing. “Best Buddy is a good guy.”

“Best Buddy?” Rey asked, eyebrows lifting.

“Yeah, it’s a home assistant technology that I’m still working on,” Poe grinned at her. “He’s sort of like a friend to me now, I spend so much time talking to him in code.”

“It’s a good name,” Rey smiled back. “You should call him Beebee for short.”

“I love it.” Poe walked forward into the apartment, and Rey turned, having finished her suspicious assessment of the elevator doors. Her jaw dropped as she took in Poe’s home. “Best Buddy, turn the lights on.” The lighting made it even more obvious – Poe lived in utter luxury. She didn’t know what she was expecting, the man apparently had more money than God (doing who knows what – she hadn’t googled him yet, despite Rose’s urging), but the two single men she was friends with lived in what could charitably be called bachelor pads (although most days it was more ‘pad _thai_ ’ depending how far away Ben and Finn were from the last cleaning).

Poe Dameron lived in a penthouse apartment – the view of the city below stunning from the wide windows that took up the entire far wall of the sitting area – and the furniture looked like some bizarrely cozy advert for a swanky household magazine, the kind you picked up in a supermarket while you were waiting to buy your ramen and eggs, so you could snort at the absurdity of needing handcrafted artisan barrels that were blasted with sand to look vintage.

But this was classy, Rey realized, this was homey but classy as shit, and she was suddenly very aware that she was wearing clothes she found on sale at Goodwill, clutching a bag full of 750 dollar shoes that the man standing next to her had bought just because he thought she might look pretty in them.

“You have a very nice home,” Rey squeaked out. “I like your…fireplace.” The fireplace was larger than her bed, and stood in a sheer column in the corner of the floor plan. The kitchen was an open concept, and the collection of pots and pans hanging from hooks near the stove looked like they cost more than her entire set of worldly possessions. _Comparison is the thief of joy,_ her mind warned her, but Rey wasn’t jealous. She was just in awe.

“Thanks,” Poe walked forward with his hands in his pockets, and Rey took a second to appreciate the nicest feature in the apartment; his butt. She scolded herself for leering, but honestly, that just wasn’t fair. “Best Buddy, would you turn the fireplace on?”

 _You don’t have to ask, Poe,_ the calm voice reminded him. Rey searched for a source for the AI, but couldn’t find it. “ _I will happily do whatever you ask._ ”

“This is how robot rebellions start,” Rey found it within herself to be sarcastic again, and Poe turned to smirk at her. And really it was unholy how he looked, dressed like that standing in front of a lit fireplace, the very physical reminder of his wealth spread all around them. Rey shuffled her feet and held up her bag. “Um. Should I get dressed?”

“Yes!” Poe beamed at her and gestured towards a door. “Your dress is in the guest bedroom. Let me know if you need any help, or if it doesn’t fit.” Rey crossed into the room quickly and shut the door, briefly leaning against it so she could catch her breath. _Get it together, Smith, he’s a man, not a god._ She was pretty sure of that fact. Less sure than she’d like to be, but still.

A black garment bag was hung up on a hook in the closet, and Rey tried her hardest to focus on that, and not ogle the room – the bed was intensely plush-looking, and she fought the urge to jump on it like a small child, not that she’d ever had the time or place to do just that, and near the large window were two matching armchairs, and various paintings adorned the walls, making it look like some hybrid of a showroom floor of an upscale furniture seller and an art gallery. She grabbed the zipper and opened the bag, revealing a gorgeous black dress that looked like a simple cut, and a beautifully designed top that mimicked waves.

Rey pulled it off the hangar carefully and held it up to her body. It was official. This was the nicest thing she’d ever touched, and he’d _bought_ it for her. There was no price tag, thank God (she couldn’t deal with that guilt right now), but the bag’s label said Givenchy, and some vague memory she had told her that that meant it was pretty damn fancy.

She undressed and took out her new shoes; she stepped into the dress and pulled it up, the fabric sliding easily over her hips and up to her bust. She managed to wiggle the zipper up halfway, but huffed impatiently. So much for making a grand entrance. Rey stepped into the shoes on her walk to the door, holding the dress up above her bra. She cracked the door open, and saw Poe standing in front of one of his couches, staring into the fireplace. “Mr. Dameron?” She called, watching his profile straighten at his name. “Could you help me, please?”

“Yes, of course,” He turned to her, and her breath caught at the expression on his face. “You look beautiful.”

“I’m not even fully dressed yet,” Rey found it in herself to laugh at her situation, one hand pressed over her bust and another at her armpit. She wiggled demonstratively, and shivered when his eyes visibly darkened. “That’s why I need your help.”

“Still.” He walked towards her and stopped short of coming in the door, a foot of near-tangible space between their bodies. “You’re beautiful. You were before you put that on, though.” Rey blushed and turned around instead of answering. She kept the hand above her bust in place, and used her other hand to hold her hair out of the way.

His hands were warm, nearly burning hot through the fabric of the dress while he held it shut and began to zip up the back. Rey shivered again, clutching her hair, feeling intensely the vulnerability of the situation. Poe moved much more slowly than she’d anticipated, and with his breath blowing against her neck, rustling through the loose curls of hair that were still pressed to her skin, Rey fought back a strange desire to whimper. He cleared her bra, and then finished zipping, his hands delicate as he fit the hook through the eye of the dress’s closure.

“There you go,” he murmured, and Rey realized how close he had stepped to her. She felt his presence in every molecule of her body, felt the solid mass of him so close to her – if she were only brave enough to turn, she wondered if he would kiss her, really kiss her the way she’d always wanted to be kissed but told herself she didn’t have time for – she wondered if she would see the same inexplicable desire for _more,_ for closeness, for skin on skin, in his eyes that she felt ripping through her, causing her to shift uncomfortably, painfully aware that she was obviously aroused.

Gently, so gently she could have imagined it, if not for the way it left what felt like a physical brand in its place, Poe brushed his lips over the top of her spine, right between her shoulder blades, and then pulled her hair back into place, stroking his hand softly through it, settling it and causing her to lean back into the touch. Rey’s eyes closed of their own accord, and she made an mortifying, low noise in her throat.

“There you go,” he repeated, his voice lower and more hoarse than before. She felt the brush of his shirt against her back now, knew the distance between them to be insignificant, trivial, easily cleared –

“Thank you, Mr. Dameron,” Rey said quietly, and his hand brushed over her hair one more time before stilling.

“I need to finish getting ready.” His voice was oddly tighter now. “I’ll – I’ll let you finish, too.”

 _I bet you will,_ Rose would have said. But Rey wasn’t bold like that, no matter how much she wanted to be, so she merely nodded, and when she heard the door close behind him, she sighed in what could be relief or exasperation. She found a folded up pamphlet in her purse and fanned herself with it furiously, scolding herself for getting so caught up in what probably amounted to nothing at all.

**

Clear across the apartment from the wide-eyed girl who threatened to steal his senses entirely, Poe sat on the end of his bed, his head buried in his hands. His tuxedo jacket was hung on the doorknob of his closet, and he really should be getting dressed, but instead he had to fight with his body’s sudden decision to return him to adolescence.

Poe willed away the largest erection he’d had in memory, willing himself _not to jack off, don’t do that, you’re an adult, you don’t need to, no matter how pretty she looked, or how happily she let you touch her, or how soft her skin was, or how her neck smells – oh shit, don’t think about that, really don’t think about that, or how her hair looked in your hand, or how she says thank you – oh, fuck, nope, think about that time you fell off a boat off the coast of Iceland, yeah, that works, that’s great, I wonder if Rey likes to swim, I wonder if she’s been to Iceland, I bet she’d look great while she was fresh from the water, lying out on a towel and –_

Poe leaned down until his forehead touched his knees and groaned. It was going to be a long, long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Me: Writes a fic about sugar daddies, bases it on Poe Dameron, the most attractive man in the galaxy; Also Me: The slowest of burns in this kink fic)
> 
> Next Chapter: The Auction (where Poe buys a pretty thing and Rey sees a familiar face)


	4. The Auction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an intense discussion about her past, Poe and Rey attend a charity auction, and Poe introduces Rey to some of his friends. It's a fairy tale evening - until a familiar face from Rey's past shows up and threatens the tentative romance blossoming between her and Mr. Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings:  
> *Rey discusses the abuse she suffered as a child with Poe; he reaches for her too quickly and she flinches from instinct, which leads to a conversation.
> 
>  
> 
> *Poe has a panic attack

Rey eyed the limousine that waited on the curb with skepticism.

“Ready?” Poe asked, smiling at her softly and offering her his arm. Rey took it while still reluctantly admiring their transportation for the evening. “Now, we might have our photograph taken when we get there – let me know now if that’s a problem for you, and I can stagger our entrances.”

 _What_? Wasn’t the whole point of this situation that he needed and/or wanted someone young on his arm? They walked out of his fancy-pants building and to the fancy-pants car. She took the time to think honestly about his offer, so it would seem more earnest when she answered.

“That’s not necessary,” Rey assured him, smiling as he held the door open for her. She managed to get herself in without tripping or flashing anyone (she hoped) and Poe slid in next to her. Rey felt her smile grow massively when she saw who was driving. “Oh! Snap! How are you? How have your classes been?”

“Hey, Rey,” Snap smiled at her briefly before pulling out into traffic. “I’m doing good, thanks. Classes are kicking my ass, though. How’ve you been?”

“I’m sure you’re doing just fine,” Rey said, settling into her seat more and folding her hands in her lap. She shot a quick smile at Poe before answering Snap’s question. “And I’m doing well, very well. Hard not to, with Mr. Dameron here taking care of me.” She fought against the urge to bat her eyelashes at the man in question, and Poe flushed, straight down to his collar. _Interesting._ She grabbed his hand from where it rested on the seat between him, and slipped her fingers through his. His response was immediate; he squeezed her hand and shifted his entire body so he could stare at her, an inscrutable expression on his classically handsome features.

“Hey, Snap?” Poe said, looking at his driver out of the corner of his eyes. “Could we get some privacy?”

“Sure thing, boss,” Snap said, winking in the rearview mirror. He hit a button and the partition rose up, effectively blocking the back of the limo off.

Rey raised an eyebrow in what she hoped was a teasing fashion. “Need some alone time?” She asked, smirking and tracing a pattern on Poe’s knee. He grabbed her hand, an odd noise rising in his throat, and Rey tilted her head at him in confusion.

“You don’t need to, uh,” Poe coughed and shook his head. “No. No, uhm, I wanted to give you something.”

Feeling a little put out by his reaction, Rey nodded at him encouragingly and withdrew her hand from his – but not before he’d leaned down quickly and kissed her fingertips. _Mixed messages, much?_

Poe reached inside his tuxedo jacket and pulled a small, blue box out of the inner pocket. He handed it to her, a smile crinkling the corner of his warm, brown eyes, and she took it with a quiet murmured, “ _Thank you_.”

“Open it?” It sounded more like a question than an order, but Rey was all too happy to oblige. She popped the top of the box off easily, noting the lack of gift wrap – Paige and Rose’s teasing from yesterday’s present opening session ringing in her ears – and gasped at the contents.

A beautiful diamond bracelet sat on the velvet inside the box, and Rey traced it nervously with her fingers. She was suddenly, intensely glad that Rose had insisted she scrub under her nails while getting ready because the thought of grease from her job tainting this jewelry made her want to cry.

A lot of things were making her want to cry, and she took a few seconds to just stare at the bracelet while it sparkled from the lights flashing by the window.

“Do you like it?” Poe’s voice was rough, uncertain, and Rey nodded quickly, forcing herself to look up and into his eyes.

“Yes,” she breathed, “Yes, I love it, it’s so pretty –“ He held his hand out, and Rey handed the box back to him; he carefully lifted it from the velvet and opened the latch. He held it out, the smile still soft on his face, and Rey extended her arm, until her wrist was aligned with the string of diamonds he held between his hands.

He gently clasped it once more, stroking his fingers over the bracelet; they both sat there, admiring the way it looked, and Rey whispered, “Thank you, Mr. Dameron.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said, voice lower than before. “I mean that.” The look on his face – heady, dark, possessive – made her breath catch. He pulled her hand forward until her knuckles touched his tuxedo jacket, and he bent his head until his lips brushed the back of her hand. He rubbed his thumb along the inside of her wrist, his eyes never leaving her face, and Rey was convinced she’d catch fire right then and there, in the back of his limo.

His hand continued to trace patterns into her skin that were equal parts soothing and exciting, and Rey felt herself leaning in, absolutely at the mercy of his gravitational pull, and it was inevitable, wasn’t it? how hard she had fallen and was falling for this man, who gave and gave and gave and didn’t really seem to expect anything in return other than her time, and how ridiculous was it that she finally found someone who could be her partner, but he – they were – _this was about money_ , she scrambled to remember, this was essentially a _job_ , and it didn’t matter how pretty his eyes were, not when –

His hand drifted too low, and Rey’s breath caught between her teeth in a hiss of pain. He’d accidentally discovered the burn on the inside of her forearm, and Poe looked alarmed, pulling her hand forward, turning the palm over so he could see what he’d touched.

It certainly didn’t look pretty, red and irritated against her freckled skin, and Poe made a noise of sympathy, his finger lightly tracing around the outside of the blister. “What happened?” He asked, sounding – she didn’t know how he sounded.

“Wasn’t being careful enough at work,” she said honestly. She omitted the part of _I was thinking about you and that’s definitely a workplace safety hazard._ “Slipped with the blowtorch, my arm caught against the metal.”

“Did you go to the doctor?” Poe looked up now, and she saw the concern etched into his face. It tugged at her heartstrings in a way that was simply unfair.

“For a little thing like this?” Rey tried to play it off as well as she could with her heart pounding in her ears, her heart pounding from the knowledge that someone like Poe Dameron could give a damn about her health. “No, no, this is fine. Doesn’t look nice, I know. Is that a breach of contract? Damaging the goods, and whatnot?” She’d tried to go for funny with the question, but Poe looked like she’d struck him.

“What?” He asked, eyes darting around her face quickly, clearly trying to read her expression. “What? Fuck, no, Rey – that – don’t talk about yourself that way, _please_.”

Shit, she’d actually upset him. _Way to go, Smith._ “I know you don’t see me that way,” she said hurriedly. “Really, Mr. Dameron, it’s – it’s fine, I was just trying to be silly.”

“Okay.” He seemed more muted than before, and Rey wished they could rewind and go back to the part where he was holding her hand, looking so happy to have made her happy. She bit her lip and looked down to the floor, staring adamantly at the side of the limo, trying not to cry. Her hair hung in her face, a tendril having escaped Rose’s masterpiece.

She was so distracted by her own embarrassment that she failed to see Poe’s hand reach out to tuck that piece of hair behind her ear.

As far as she was concerned, there was suddenly an unexpected hand in her space, and she flinched, physically from it, jerking backward hard, a hand flung out to protect herself, drawing her knees up, nowhere to run, _just make yourself as small as possible, just besmallbequietbeignored and you’ll survive,_ and she panted for breath, every muscle in her body locked.

“Rey?” That wasn’t Unkar at all, was it, that was – “Rey, sweetheart, did you – no, oh _fuck._ ”

She winced and dragged herself back from the edge of her panic attack, something she couldn’t afford, not when they hadn’t even fucking gotten to the event yet, what was _wrong_ with her, and saw Poe Dameron sitting with his hands in front of his chest, wearing a look of utter alarm. “Sweetheart?”

He was the only person who’d ever called her that, and she focused on the detail, breathing slowly, deeply, nodding, already muttering apologies.

“Don’t be sorry,” Poe urged. “Please, God – just – tell me what I did, so I don’t do it again?”

Rey nodded again, still flinching in embarrassment. “I’m – please – don’t, um, try to touch me if I’m not looking, I guess? It’s just – if I don’t know it’s you, or if I don’t know it’s coming, it can – um, well, this happens.” She gestured at herself, feeling weak and awful and pathetic. “It’s – it’s not you, obviously, you’re – you’re wonderful, and I’m sorry to bring this into your life when – when we’re about to go to a party, and if you drop me off here, I think I can get to the metro just fine, and –”

“You think I’d kick you out of the car?” Poe sounded aghast, and Rey looked out the window nearest to her in response. “Rey – if you want to go home…just tell me, I’ll take you home myself. I – I won’t ever touch you without permission again, I swear, I – I had no idea, but it’s nothing you need to apologize for or feel badly about.”

Rey nodded, miserably, and took a deep shuddering breath. “Will you, um,” she cut herself off, wincing again. She squeezed her hands together in her lap and stared at them.

“Will I what?” Poe asked, gently. “You can ask me – you’ll find that it’s probably impossible for me to say no to anything you ask for, sweetheart.”

Rey laughed, wetly, and closed her eyes. “Can you – can you hold me?” She waited for the awkward pause and the apology that was sure to follow, who in the right mind would want to even be near her, she was a train wreck, and –

A seatbelt unbuckled, and a warm body was suddenly next to hers. “I’m going to put my arms around you,” he said softly, and Rey melted at the thought of him already trying to adjust to what she’d asked for, for communication and permission, “and then I’m going to hold you until you tell me to stop, alright?”

He wrapped her up tightly and pulled her into his side, and Rey twisted, her hand clutching at his shoulder, absorbing his warmth and appreciating how solid and supportive his broad chest was. Her legs fit underneath his when she stretched them out the right way, and she curved herself more into his body, burying her face in his jacket, not caring if it rubbed off her makeup or not.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his hand rubbing her shoulders softly. Rey nodded eagerly, taking full advantage of his kindness; the limo ride would be over eventually, and he’d release her, and they’d go back to whatever it was they were doing with whatever distance he found necessary, but for now, she could just be a girl being held by a person who was good enough to hold her when she asked, when she needed it. And that would be enough because she needed it to be enough.

Aware that their time in the car must be coming to an end, Rey forced herself to clear the air somewhat. She didn’t lift her head to speak, but she said, loudly enough to be heard, “I’ve never been hit by a boyfriend.”

“Oh?” She felt him nod, felt him rest his chin on top of her head. He didn’t push her for more, but his thumb rubbed a circle into her spine, and it relaxed her enough to spit some of the rest of her past out.

“I was in a bad situation,” she said quietly. “When I was a foster kid. My – um, parents?” Her voice cracked on the word, pathetically, eighteen years later, but she finished what she had to say, even if it was a simplification. “They didn’t want me. So I went to a couple homes. Landed with a really, really bad guy when I was about fourteen. It – it was awful. And I got out, obviously, I got out when I was 18, with the help of a lawyer my friend Finn knew, and it’s okay now, it really is, but – I don’t do well with sudden movements, or drunk people, or loud noises. So. That’s all. Sorry. I should have put that in the contract, and—”

“Rey,” Poe’s voice was like roughened honey, and she sighed to hear it from its source, her ear pressed over his heart. “Don’t apologize, don’t ever apologize. Thank you for telling me. You were under no obligation to, at the signing of that contract, or even right now. You’re so, incredibly brave, and thank you for sharing any part of yourself with me.”

She felt him press his lips into her hair, and she wiggled closer, trying to draw out as much as she could from their embrace, but all too soon, she heard Snap say, “We’ll be there in three minutes, Mr. Dameron.”

“Fuck.” He muttered it so quietly, Rey thought he hadn’t intended for her to hear. “Are you still up for this, sweetheart? Because we can turn around, I was being serious about taking you home.”

“No.” Rey resolutely shook her head, and reluctantly pulled out of Poe’s arms. “Do I look alright?”

“Beautiful,” he said solemnly, wiping the corner of her eye softly. “Here.” He pulled a silk handkerchief out of his pocket – _seriously, what didn’t he have in there, he was like Mary Poppins_ – and handed it to her. Rey passed it over her cheeks a few times, relieved when it came away damp but not covered in mascara. “Do I look alright?” He asked teasingly, and Rey reached up slowly to press her hand into his cheek. His smile froze, and he looked at her with his mouth slightly parted.

“You look perfect,” she answered truthfully, and whatever Poe was about to say next was cut off by Snap’s announcement of their arrival.

***  
Rey gasped when they walked up the stairs, having read the banner for the event – “You didn’t say this was for the SKWC!” she said, tugging on Poe’s arm. He smiled at her, turned and waved at a camera that flashed before Rey could fix the awestruck look of her face. She tugged on his arm again and pointed up at the banner excitedly. “I went there! All through college!”

“Really?” That definitely caught Poe’s attention, and he gazed at her thoughtfully. Rey smiled at him, and he was just beginning to smile back when another bulb went off. God, she probably looked like an idiot in that one, too.

“Yes, really.” They blessedly began to climb the stairs again, and she babbled away, all too happy to have something to say after her performance in the car. “Satine Kryze is one of my heroes! And her Women’s Center - I don’t know what I would have done without their program for students. It’s how I afforded birth control, not that I was even using it for anything fun, of course, but-”

She stopped then, her mouth snapping shut audibly (well, she hoped the red of her cheeks matched her dress well enough), and she fumbled for something to say to that.

Poe smiled at her happily though, and squeezed her hand for a second before letting go. “I’m happy you were able to get the medical care you needed,” he said serenely, not a single joke about contraceptives, or sex, or any of it. He turned to talk to a reporter who’d held a mic out, and Rey hung back, berating herself for bringing up her fucking birth control. She really did use it for her out of whack periods, but now the fact that she was on birth control – for now, her prescription was up in a few weeks – was out there, and the idea of sex, and the idea that she could have sex with him, which she definitely wanted, and oh Christ, she was bad at this, why did she ever agree to this, and –

Her date finished up his interview quickly and turned around, reaching out for her hand, and when he smiled at her, she remembered _exactly_ why she’d agreed to this.

There were only a few more feet before they entered the building, and Rey examined the signs for “The Satine Kryze Women’s Center Charity Auction” intensely, as though they held the secret to the universe in them.

“We don’t have to sit down just yet.” Poe’s hand tightened around her own before releasing it, and he hummed thoughtfully. “Would you do something for me?”

“Anything, Mr. Dameron,” Rey said eagerly, happy to do something for him for once. She winced at how vaguely pornographic her answer sounded, and the answering, telltale flush around his collar informed her that it didn’t go unnoticed by the man. “What do you need?”

He leveled her with an intense gaze, but he seemed to shake himself before answering. “I need you to find the prettiest thing in here.”

Huh. “That’s it?” Rey asked, cocking her head to the side. “Just – find something pretty?”

“And walk around with me, of course,” Poe said, offering her his elbow. She tucked her hand into it, and they strolled around, Poe being hailed by a dozen and a half people in the ten minutes they walked through the cavernous entry hall. Rey examined the items as best as she could – deeply aware suddenly that she didn’t have very refined tastes, and couldn’t tell half the items apart – and shook hands with whomever Poe introduced her to.

She gave her best, charming smile, and shook hands with much less vigor than normal (no one wanted a mechanic’s grip coming from a millionaire’s date), and laughed at everyone’s awful jokes. Rey waited for the shoe to drop and for everyone to realize how out of place she was, but it never happened, and a deep flush of happiness ran down her spine when Poe whispered in her ear, “You’re doing so well, sweetheart.”

Rey bit her lip when she realized they’d come to the end of the items up for sale. “Did you find the prettiest thing in here?” Poe asked. “Besides yourself, of course.” Rey snorted and swatted at his arm lightly, the big flirt, and he smiled back, unashamed.

“It was over here,” Rey decided, tugging on his elbow and leading him forward. He followed her without complaint, and they arrived at the table shortly. “This! Look at it! It’s so pretty, it looks like something a princess would wear.”

“I think Audrey Hepburn wore it,” Poe said thoughtfully, examining the diamond studded tiara.

“What?” Rey gasped down at it. “That must be worth a fortune!” Poe stood up straight, having finished his close look, and a bell rang in the distance.

“That’s our signal to head to dinner,” he said, nodding towards the open doors at the end of the hall. “Come on, sweetheart, lets find our seats.”

They ended up at a table near the stage, with a wrinkled, jowly man who introduced himself as the “Admiral,” and Poe rolled his eyes and whispered in her ear, “That’s Ackbar, and he’s an eccentric.” A moment later, they were joined by a good-looking couple in their forties, and Poe brightened considerably at the sight of them.

“Jyn!” He exclaimed, standing up quickly and walking around the table to shake hands with the woman, a short, dark-haired beauty, and to kiss her cheek. “Cass!” He exchanged a bear hug with the man, tall and thin with salt-and-pepper facial hair. “Meet Rey!” Poe said, practically bouncing on his heels. Rey stumbled to her feet and walked to the new couple, shaking hands with the woman first, and then then man. “This is Jyn Erso-Andor, and Cassian Andor. And this is Rey.” He wrapped an arm around Rey, smiling so broadly, Rey felt like she didn’t deserve it.

“Rey?” Jyn smiled like a cat who’d caught a canary. “ _The_ Rey? I believe he’s spoken about you.”

“Oh?” Rey said, confusion no doubt coloring her voice. She caught herself quickly, feeling Poe tense next to her. “That’s – we haven’t been together very long.”

“He told me about you the other day,” Jyn said cheerfully. If she’d caught on to Poe or Rey’s distress, she didn’t reveal it. “Wouldn’t stop talking my ear off at a conference call about the most beautiful girl he’d ever met. Wanted to barf really.”

“Do you two work together?” Rey asked, pieces falling together in her mind. Of course Poe would chat up his date to his coworkers. That way it wasn’t weird when she suddenly, you know, existed.

Jyn snorted loudly and reached over to lightly punch Poe in the chest. “No one really works with this guy, do they? Everyone works _for_ him. But no, no we were just putting together a consult for the military together.”

Rey’s brow furrowed while she remembered that she abso-fucking-lutely had no idea what Poe did for a living. She was spared any more embarrassment by Cassian taking his jacket off and announcing, “I’m starved, and I’m going to sit down. You should sit next to me, Rey, I’m going to be just as bored as you are while they talk business.”

“Oh?” Rey asked, grinning despite herself. There was just something inherently likable about Cassian, and she happily accepted the seat next to him.

Gial was joined by a man that looked remarkably like him; his husband, Raddus, as it turned out. Gial focused almost entirely on Raddus after he’d sat down, and Poe smirked at the older couple. Cassian leaned over and poured Rey a glass of wine, which had been sitting out in the middle of the table.

“I’m the trophy husband,” he said cheerfully, holding his own full glass out to toast. “So I say, we drink together.” Rey snorted, and Poe buried his face in his hands, his ears bright red. Jyn rubbed her husband’s back fondly and waved down a waiter to order a double vodka.

Dinner passed by without much fanfare; it was very fancy with very tiny portions, and Rey poked at some grey sludge very dubiously. “I think it’s supposed to be meat,” Cassian stage-whispered, and Rey shot him a look of disbelief. “Hey, if you’re not going to eat it,” he joked, reaching out with his fork. Rey grabbed her own utensil and swatted his out of the way, ready to duel to the death for her grey sludge.

“That’s enough, you two,” Jyn said with faux-sternness, and Cassian and Rey dropped their weapons with looks of innocence, switching to kicking each other under the table.

The auction began almost an hour after the (tiny, tiny) plates had been served, and Rey found herself dreaming of McNuggets while the host, a beautiful older woman with amazing purple hair began to read off the items up for auction.

Rey’s eyes widened as paintings went for over twenty grand, jewelry for even more. She fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist, suddenly worried about its cost; Poe noticed and draped his arm across the back of her chair. She leaned into the weight of it eagerly, feeling slightly soothed by proximity to Poe, sturdy as he was. He looked impossibly more handsome than usual, in his tuxedo, under the lights of the chandeliers in the room, stubble perfectly accenting his jaw, his eyes lively and engaged as he watched the proceedings of the auction. God, his _mouth,_ full and ready to –

 A thought struck her, then, aided by the wine and champagne Cassian kept pouring for the both of them.

“Poe?” She whispered. “Can I ask you something?”

On stage, a necklace sold for twenty-eight grand to a gentleman in an orange suit.

“Of course,” he answered easily, leaning in to the point where her senses were flooded with the smell of his cologne. Fuck. She was so fucked –

“Can I kiss you?”

He blinked slowly, and no, she didn’t imagine how his eyes flickered from her own eyes to her mouth, back and forth while he wetted his bottom lip. Poe nodded, clearing his throat. “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “Of course you can – if you want to- just-“

“The next item up for bid is Item 32N,” the hostess announced, and Poe shook himself and looked up. Rey did too, reluctantly, but glad to have potential permission for the future. “Isn’t it beautiful, folks?”

It was the tiara Rey had so admired outside, and she smiled up at it before returning her gaze to Poe. He wasn’t looking at her though, merely staring up at the tiara with an intense look of concentration on his face.

“Ho boy,” Jyn muttered, and Rey gave her a weird look. Jyn flicked her eyes over at Poe with a toss of her head as if to say _just watch._

“We’ll start the bidding at twenty-five thousand,” the hostess – Holdo, Rey remembered, something Holdo.

Rey laughed in disbelief at the inordinate cost and reached for her champagne. She startled at Poe raising his paddle for the first time that evening.

“Twenty-five thousand!” Holdo declared, smiling over at them. “By Mr. Dameron, very good. Anyone with twenty – six thousand?”

“Twenty-six!” Someone called out towards the back, and Poe snorted, shaking his head. Before Holdo got to the next bid, he raised his paddle again, and Holdo acknowledged him. Rey tugged on his arm urgently, shaking her head – sweet Christ that was so much money, but Poe merely winked at her.

“Poe, it’s too much,” she hissed, but he shook his head.

“I’m gonna get it for you,” he said, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it. “You said it was pretty.”

“Yes, it is pretty, but,” Rey was interrupted by Poe raising the paddle again in response to the upped bid.

What followed was a very intense battle between several people in the audience, but mainly Poe and the first gentleman from the back of the room – eventually, Holdo said, “Forty eight thousand?” and Poe raised his paddle one last time. The other man chose not to outbid, and Poe settled back, looking terrifically smug.

“Got it,” he said, beyond pleased. “And now it’s yours.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rey whispered, cheeks flushed. What on _earth_ was she going to do with a fucking tiara? A man up on stage was already boxing the item up, and Poe waved him over lazily.

“I honestly thought I’d spend a lot more than that tonight,” Poe said casually, shrugging. “I’ll donate more at the end, too.”

Rey’s thoughts swirled in her head ceaselessly for a few minutes – what exactly did Poe do that he was so casual about so much money?

The auction concluded, and the tiara was delivered quickly, Poe exchanging it for a check for forty eight thousand dollars without batting an eye.

Rey felt faint as the money traded hands, and the tiara was set in front of her. Poe took it out carefully and held it up.

“Wear it!” Cassian demanded, and his wife echoed him. Even Ackbar and his husband joined in the chant of “Wear it, wear it, wear it!” to the point where Rey had no choice but to acquiesce.

The incandescent smile on Poe’s face was worth it when she allowed him to set the tiara on her head, and she preened momentarily. It was heavier than it looked, but Cassian declared that it was ‘perfect,’ and Jyn said she looked ‘like goddamn Cinderella.’

“Can we take a picture?” Rey asked Poe, tugging on his sleeve. He grinned and held up his camera, framing them in a selfie. She looked happy in the photo, and the tiara really was beautiful in the light of the room, and Poe’s entire face was transformed from its typical ‘broody-rich-man’ attractiveness to something much younger, and much more open in the photo. She held her hand out for the phone, and Poe provided it willingly; she quickly sent the picture to herself and swapped out his phone for her own, setting the picture as her background, and giggling at how ridiculous she looked with a tiara on – _Rose was never going to believe this._

Rey was still giggling, feeling high on something more powerful than champagne, when Poe Dameron looked at her almost bashfully and leaned in slowly. He moved slowly to give her time to move away, she realized, but she closed her eyes and accepted the soft kiss on her cheek all too happily, fighting back a sigh from how nice his scruff felt, scratching against her jaw, how soft and full his lips were, how sweet his breath felt, blowing down her neck as he pulled away just as slowly as he’d approached.

She was lost in his eyes then, and he didn’t look like he had it much more together – which must be a trick of a light, no way Poe Dameron, who dropped 50K like he was buying McDonald’s, was dazed at the prospect of kissing her cheek – and they were only interrupted by Gial Ackbar’s loud voice.

“Do it proper, boy!” He shouted from across the table, the words hopefully not projected through the hall. Poe laughed awkwardly, his forearm resting on the table from when he had entered her personal space, and Rey could feel him fiddling with the back of her seat. He opened his mouth, no doubt to issue some smooth line that would get Rey off the hook (because that had to be what that was, right? He was worried about her virtue, or something stupid), and Rey was feeling 98% braver than normal with the champagne and the gifts she was wearing, and the company she was in, so she tugged on the lapels of Poe’s tuxedo jacket.

He looked at her, wide-eyed, and Rey leaned in, a little less slowly than he had, and kissed him, just once, on the lips. It was brief, and her nose barely had time to brush across his cheek before she pulled away and smiled at him, hoping she didn’t look as starstruck as she felt.

A shutter noise went off, and she looked over at the same time Poe did, to see Jyn Erso-Andor giggling wildly and tapping on her phone. “Babe, delete that,” Cassian said without much force behind it.

“No!” Jyn crowed, holding her phone out of reach. “No, I fuckin’ ship it!”

Cassian rolled his eyes fondly, and Rey laughed brightly at their interaction, deep down pleased that Poe’s friends seemed to approve of her.

***

They headed for the doors a while after that, the tiara returned to its safe box. Rey was trying to figure out where the hell she was going to hide literal jewels in her crappy shoebox apartment, when Poe’s attention was diverted by a business contact. He apologized and stepped away briefly, his hand warm on the small of her back before he went to talk to his colleague, and Rey smiled and wiggled happily, clutching her box to her chest.

Out of the corner of her eye, a familiar shape emerged. Rey sucked in a breath of surprise, and the champagne’s buzz clearly hadn’t worn off because suddenly she was squealing, “Benny!”

Ben Solo turned around and spotted her, and his grin was immediate and infectious. “Rey!” He said, hurrying over. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Solo!” Rey teased, poking him in his large chest. She tilted her head back and examined him. “Did you get taller, Ben?”

“No,” he laughed awkwardly, and ran a hand through his long hair. “No, haven’t grown since you saw me last. Like. Five weeks ago.”

“Has it been that long?” Rey asked wonderingly. Five weeks since her graduation? Really?

Ben grinned at her. “Time flies when you’re not in undergrad,” he pointed out. “Anyway, I’m here for my mom, she wanted to make an appearance, but she’s still fighting that weird cold.”

“Shit, poor Leia,” Rey winced and shook her head. It seemed impossible to think of the former Senator as anything but perfectly healthy, but she’d had this cold for almost three weeks now; it was why she and Ben hadn’t seen each other in over a month. No Leia, no biweekly family dinner.

“Yeah.” Ben nodded and blew his breath out quickly. “Hey, if you’re not doing anything right now, do you want to—”

He was cut off by Poe’s approach, and Ben looked over at him at the same time Rey did.

“Ready to go, sweetheart?” He asked, smiling in a decidedly dopey fashion. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and Rey smiled back, and then turned to Ben.

“Ben, this is—”

She paused for a millisecond, trying to figure out if friend, boyfriend, benefactor, or sugar daddy was more appropriate and/or acceptable, but Ben’s face had frozen.

“Poe?” He said, his eyes gone blank as he looked back at Rey, who was now tucked into Poe’s side. “Rey?”

“You know Ben?” Poe asked, something unreadable crossing his expression. “You two know each other?”

Rey blinked at them for a moment, and then shrugged. “Yeah, Ben and I go way back, we—”

_Met when I was eighteen._

_He saved me from Unkar._

_We dated for three months before we decided to be friends._

_Okay, I decided we should be friends._

_We might have slept together._

Ben had stepped forward in the interim, Poe still frozen in place beside her, and poked his large finger into Poe’s chest. “You. Me. A word. _Now_.” He jerked his head to the side and shot Rey a look of – was that _fear_? Concern? Anxiety? Ben’s dark brown eyes, always so open to her, suddenly shuttered down, and Poe gave her a look that begged for forgiveness – what was he even apologizing for? What was happening? – and followed Ben away and around a corner.

“Don’t pay them any mind, darling.” Jyn Erso-Andor had appeared at her shoulder. “Come on, they’ll fight and get it over with, and you can talk to me and Cass while we wait.” Rey nodded, happy to not just be standing agape in the middle of the fancy hall by herself, and shot one, last worried look over her shoulder to where Ben and Poe had disappeared.

**

They’d barely rounded the corner out of sight of guest and staff alike before Ben slammed him bodily into a wall.

“What the fuck?” Poe spluttered, smacking Ben’s hand away. “What the fuck, dude?”

“What the fuck right back at you,” Ben hissed, his large face very much in Poe’s personal space. “ _Dude._ ”

“What the hell is your problem?” Poe demanded, head reeling. What made Ben look like he wanted to murder him. God, everything had been fine a minute ago, Rey had been happy, he had been happy, the evening had gone so well –

“Do you have,” Ben straightened up and dragged his hands through his hair. “ _Any idea_ what that girl’s been through?”

“Some idea, yeah,” Poe admitted, his heart still sore from what she’d revealed to him in the limo. “Wait – why – how do you know Rey?”

Ben sneered. “I know her well enough to know she’s been through hell and back, and the last fucking thing she needs is for some rich jackass to jerk her around.”

“That’s not what’s happening,” Poe insisted, but he was cut off by Ben stepping closer, fury rolling off his body.

“I _wrote_ that contract,” he hissed. “I _know_ the initials in it. RS? Rey Smith? Do you _think_ if I knew, that if I had _any_ idea who your – your new little pet was, that I would have fucking written that for you?” He shook his head, his vast amounts of hair flying around wildly. “Don’t think for a fucking second that I’ll write an addendum saying you can fuck her legally. Not this time.”

Something staggered inside of Poe – something awful, dark, pooled inside of him, something that felt a bit like shame. “It’s not like that with her—”

“Yeah?” Ben snorted. “Then what is it like? Huh?” Poe shook with anger that he knew wasn’t directed at anyone but himself when it came down to it. Because of course it was like that – hadn’t he had to rub one off in the shower this afternoon just to get through this evening? Hadn’t he touched himself to the thought of her wearing things he’d bought? God.

“Don’t forget,” Ben yanked his suit jacket back into place and scowled at Poe. “If you so much as _touch_ her, she’s allowed to sue you into the next century. And you can bet I’ll represent her.”

Poe found himself unable to respond. Did Ben think that little of him? That he’d try to coerce sex out of Rey? He wanted that with her, sure, but he didn’t need it, didn’t need it to be part of – of everything else, wasn’t that how it was supposed to –

Ben eyed the doors at the end of the hallway and shook his head one last time. “She’s been through shit you can’t even imagine, Poe. I always thought you were kinky, never wanted to get into it or question it, but this? This is beyond fucked up.”

“Find a different lawyer if you decide to pursue that aspect of a relationship with her,” Ben shot over his shoulder before storming towards the exit, slamming through to the outside.

Poe leaned his head against the wall and tried to count backwards from twenty. He would reach ten, and then forget what came next, his heart stuttering and his breath catching, and he’d have to start over again, twenty, nineteen, eighteenseventeensixteen-

It was an impossible number of minutes of that before a small hand grasped his own. “Poe?” A now terribly familiar voice asked. “Poe, what’s wrong? What did he say to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” Poe laughed weakly, cracking his eyes open to look at Rey. It was the only way to look at her without getting burnt right now, eyes half-lidded, his misery gilding his sight easily. “I’m an ass.”

“Whatever he said isn’t true,” Rey said urgently. “Look, Ben’s – Ben’s a friend of mine, more like family at this point, and he can be really intense, but whatever he said – you mustn’t think it of yourself, Poe, please.”

She tugged on his hand again when he didn’t respond, and he got off the wall reluctantly. Rey wrapped her thin arms around him, and he waited a moment before his weakness won out and he wrapped her up in a returned embrace. “I had a lovely evening,” she whispered into his ear. “Nothing can stop that, and I hope you don’t let anything stop that.”

Poe nodded, guilt still gnawing away at his insides. “What are we doing, Rey?” he asked weakly. He’d never felt this – this weight before, with this sort of arrangement.

“Whatever we feel like doing,” Rey said sternly, pulling away to look at him. There was such strength, such bravery in her gaze: such conviction. “And right now, I feel like going with you to that limo and driving to a McDonalds because I’m starving. You didn’t say there wouldn’t be any _food_ at this dinner.”

Poe laughed despite himself, the heavy weight in his stomach lessening somewhat in the face of Rey’s complete and utter sunniness. Yeah. That’s what she was: human sunshine.

She threaded her fingers through his and led him out the doors Ben Solo had just thrown himself through. They came out in a dark alley, the street a few hundred feet away. Rey smoothed some hair out of his forehead and placed her hands on either cheek.

“Whatever he said to you, you shouldn’t worry about it,” she said softly. “All that matters is that you and I are happy, okay? And I’m happy. You make me happy. Please don’t let one person take that away.”

Poe blinked in surprise; how had she gotten to the core of that so easily? Was he that much of an open book? He grasped her tiny waist and stepped forward until his forehead pressed against hers. “Where have you been?” He whispered, almost shaking from how badly he wanted her – not just physically, in every way, damnit, damn the contract, damn this ridiculous situation he’d landed himself in, but _how else_ would a girl like this give him the time of day – “Where have you been, Sunshine?”

“Waiting for you to find me, Mr. Dameron,” she answered sweetly, her hands sliding up his arms to his biceps, where her thumbs pressed gently into the muscle. “And here I am.”

“Here you are,” Poe marveled, pulling his head up so he could press his lips into her forehead. He left his mouth there for a moment, then two, before pulling away entirely. “Let’s go get you some McDonald’s, sweetheart.”

“Chicken nuggets?” She asked breathlessly, looking every inch as excited at the prospect as she had about the tiara.

“Whatever you want,” he assured her. It was the only truth he had left, it felt like. Whatever she wanted, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, I do hope what Ben said doesn't come back to haunt Poe and by extension, Rey.
> 
>  
> 
> (Ps what Ben is referring to by ‘legally fuck” is how to make sure Poe and his current partner can engage in sex without it seeming like coercion on either side/breaching the part of the first contract where it says sex isn’t expected)


	5. The List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe requests that Rey provide a list of things she wants and needs; Poe invites her to lunch to discuss it further, and to offer her an invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same general note of warning in case you haven't noticed yet: Rey has a lot of anxiety and as a result talks down about herself in her internal monologue.

Rey frowned down at the computer screen – the smudges on the screen and its own waning battery life made it hard to see, but she’d rebuilt the computer herself five years prior and was rather proud of what had made other students in her program raise their eyebrows dismissively whenever she pulled it out during lectures.

Currently, she was supposed to be online shopping. Rey already didn’t particularly care for _shopping_ shopping, and she had been tasked by a rather stern Poe at the end of the only slightly disastrous charity auction to compose a list of things she wanted.

 _“Like what?”_ she’d asked, hoping for some guidance.

“ _Like something pretty,”_ he’d answered, smirking at her. “ _Like whatever you want._ ”

She’d then whispered into the quiet of the limousine that she’d simply never asked for anything before, and “ _I’m trying my best, I – I just don’t want to disappoint you_ ,” and that had earned her an unfathomable look from Poe, right before he held his arms out, and she’d scooted into his embrace as though she’d been made to fit there. She’d stayed there all the way back to her apartment, and Poe had walked her to the door of the complex; he was still standing there when she opened the door and walked in, and he had returned her sheepish wave but made no move away from the pavement out front, not even when the door had shut all the way behind her.

That conversation and the charity auction had been a week ago, and she’d moved in that time, claiming being too busy as her reason for not finishing the list. But a brief conversation at dinner the other night had revealed how desperately he wanted her to fill out the list.

After more awkward squirming on her part, he’d given her three easy enough categories: things she could use, things she could keep, and things she could wear ( _pretty things,_ he’d mentioned with a faint red at his cheeks). “ _There’s no price tag too high,_ ” he’d assured her, but Rey still felt bad taking advantage of his generosity, so she was stewing on the floor of her new (okay, new to her) studio apartment, her mattress and three milk crates of possessions lining the wall behind her.

She could ask him for a couch, she supposed, but she didn’t really need a couch. No one was going to come all the way out here to visit her, and she’d rather die than have Poe see where she lived. Or ask why she needed a couch.

 _Why did Paige set us up, again_? She asked herself, pulse pounding in her ears. _What could he possibly want with me_? She took a shuddering breath and put her head on her knees, willing the anxiety to go down, to just go away, to just let her have fun and be done with it.

Rey needed to finish this list and get to Maz’s tea shop so she could put it online – she certainly wasn’t shelling out money for WiFi – and she was fighting for focus with the incredible noise her next door neighbor made. As far as she could tell, he was drunk at all hours of the day (something that made her nervous) and a big fan of banjo-based music (something that just irritated her). Shrugging, she stood and shoved her laptop and charging cable into her backpack, zipped up, and headed out the door.

Shoving aside the old stereo she’d found at a thrift store (she set it in front of the door out of some absurd belief that it would limit the chance of a break-in while she was home and sleeping, Rey opened her deadbolt and lock and stepped out into the hallway. She winced at the acrid smell (someone had vomited, no one had bothered cleaning it up), and walked to the end of the hallway, almost tiptoeing past her neighbor’s door. She wasn’t afraid of him, per se, but she didn’t like the way he’d stood in his doorway when she moved her meager possessions up the stairs, the way he’d stood and stared.

(She’d called and asked Finn to come over when she was inside, hoping her neighbor would see him and assume he was her strong boyfriend who lived with her, and not her strong friend who lived in a nicer part of town with his real girlfriend)

Rey made it to the street without any incident, grabbed her skateboard, and jetted off towards Maz’s. It took a little longer now, more like half an hour on the skateboard, but it was worth it for the warm smile from the old woman, the free tea, and the slice of lemon loaf Maz snuck onto the plate.

Forty-five minutes of agonized deliberation later, and she had her first list for Poe to peruse from – created on a site he’d sent her to collect an exorbitant amount of items that she liked in one convenient place ( _“I won’t buy all of them, not all at once; and it will give me an idea of what you like, so I can get you a surprise that you’ll actually enjoy”_ as if she didn’t enjoy all of his surprises so far).

Her list was composed of:

A new Creeper for the garage

A couple cute dresses that she could wear on dates (all less than a hundred dollars; she still had hives from looking at some of the websites Paige had suggested).

A nice pair of flats she could wear to interviews if she ever left her garage job (unlikely, as the pay was steady if not great, and she liked her co-workers just fine).

A couple of books she’d wanted to read for a while, and some she’d read and wanted to own (all sci-fi or historical fiction, which would hopefully hint to Poe that they were her favorite genres).

Rey added a tea kettle, a nice one that wouldn’t break, so she could stop mooching off of Maz. Then, she gnawed on her fingernails for a minute, anxious as hell, before adding a prepaid data plan to the list. She’d be able to text him more, she rationalized, and she’d be able to send him pictures and/or videos like the Ticos had down when she’d opened presents, which was something Paige assured her Poe _definitely_ liked.

Rey sent Poe a text to let him know she was done:

[Rey, 12:42 p.m.] _Hello, Mr. Dameron! I finished the list you asked me to make. I just shared it with you. Thank you for everything. I hope you’re having a great day, xox._

[Rey, 12:42 p.m.] _Also if the last item is too much, that’s totally fine!_

There. Rey closed her laptop firmly and went back to her now-cold tea, savoring the last few drops, already dreading her trip back home.

“Rey, dear,” Maz called out from behind the counter. She turned, already smiling. The old woman was waggling a bag at her. “I made too many croissants yesterday, and they’re going stale. Can’t sell stale pastries. Would you take these for me? Maybe share them with Rose and the boy who eats like there’s no tomorrow?”

“Finn?” Rey asked, standing and laughing lightly. She folded her arms across her chest and walked up to the counter slowly, in case any other customers heard Maz’s offer and wanted in on the free croissants.

“That’s the one. I like that boy.” Maz nodded and handed the bag further over the counter, almost toppling over in her efforts, as she stood on a stool to reach over in the first place. Rey hurried to take the bag before Maz could fall all the way.

“I do too,” Rey grinned. “They’re both on a no-carb diet right now – I know, it’s awful” Maz had made a terrible face, “But if you’re sure, I think I could give these guys a good home. Thank you so much, Maz.”

“Have a good rest of your Sunday, chickie.” Maz puttered off to the back of the shop again, and Rey took a second to inhale the smell of sweet, delicious pastry before reverently putting them in her bag and heading home, the trip a lot less tiring now.

***

**

Poe hung up on the video call, the screen disappearing back into his wall and groaned for a second, resting his head on the glass in his living room.

_Is everything alright, Poe?_

“Yeah, Best Buddy,” Poe sighed, staring down at the people below and feeling a little exhausted. “I’m fine. Tired of this acquisition, is all.”

_Would it cheer you up to know that you received a message on your personal line from Rey Smith approximately thirty two minutes ago?_

“I _what_?” Poe yelped, already diving for his phone like a middle schooler. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 _I did just tell you,_ Best Buddy wasn’t being that helpful today. _This is me telling you, Poe._

“Next time, tell me sooner.” Poe flicked the phone open and smiled at the now-typical ‘xox’ from his Sunshine, before frowning in consternation at her second message. "Too much? What? Did she ask for a yacht? Is there even a body of water large enough to sail on near here?" He muttered to himself, hopefully too low for BB to pick up on.

_You said not to interrupt business calls with personal messages unless they were from Kes Dameron or Dr. Mothma._

“Add Rey Smith to that list,” Poe ordered, already grabbing his computer and settling into his couch to see what Rey had asked for. He felt a small thrill while the site loaded, he couldn’t _wait,_ God, he was going to spoil her so rotten, and he could rest easy knowing he was giving her _exactly_ what she wanted, he was going to make her smile, he wanted to be the reason for so many of her smiles and—

Poe blinked, refreshed the page, and blinked again.

The grand total of the items she asked for was less than a thousand dollars. Including the last item, the item she was so worried about – he’d seen her sorry excuse for a phone, and had already planned on fixing that situation, but God, _he just wanted to spoil her and he wasn’t any closer to knowing how to do just that._

He picked his phone up from the leather cushion next to him and opened his thread with Rey.

[Poe, 1:10 p.m.]: Got your list, sweetheart. Are you sure there wasn’t anything else you wanted?

[Sunshine, 1:12 p.m.] No, sir.

Well, that hit a button that they could explore later. If she wanted to. God, he hoped she wanted to (God, he hoped Ben Solo kept his nose out of his business. God, he hoped Ben Solo wasn’t right about this whole thing).

[Poe, 1:13 p.m.]: It’s going to be hard to spoil you if I don’t know how.

[Sunshine, 1:15 p.m.] Whatever you think is best, I trust your judgement.

Poe threw himself face down onto the couch and moaned into the cushions; this was simultaneously his worst nightmare and his most incredible dream. He needed to figure out how to spoil Rey Smith, and fast.

 _Do you require medical assistance, Poe_?

“No,” Poe barked at his AI, and then opened his phone one more time.

[Poe, 1:17 p.m.]: Let me take you to lunch this week. What day works best?

[Sunshine, 1:17 p.m.]: I’m free on Tuesday until 2!

[Poe, 1:18 p.m.]: Okay. We’re going to that nice place we tried to go last time, sweetheart. Noon. If I send over something pretty, will you wear it for me?

[Sunshine, 1:18 p.m.]: Yes sir xoxo.

God, he was so utterly fucking fucked.

***

**

Rey arrived at the fancy restaurant ten minutes early, having refused the car service again. She liked Snap, and she appreciate the gesture, but it was a nice day, and she’d just as soon walk before wasting anyone’s time.

She smoothed out her dress nervously – it was so pretty, one of the prettiest dresses she’d ever seen, let alone worn, and it had been sent to Rose’s new address. Rey hadn’t exactly forked over her own address yet, claiming that there was no concierge to accept packages (there wasn’t, so it wasn’t a lie) and she sighed while fiddling with her bag, knowing that would assuredly inspire more questions.

The green of the fabric cheered her up slightly. She’d told Poe once over text that it was her favorite color, but she had no idea how he figured out that this shade of forest green was exactly her favorite. Just another way in which Poe Dameron was absurdly perfect; just another demonstration of how he was obviously sent by an uncaring galaxy to punish her for some unknown crime.  

Speaking of, a familiar figure cut around the corner and walked towards her quickly: Poe was wearing a deep blue button down today – and the more Rey got to know him, the more she assumed the thread count on his shirts would make her weep – tucked into pants that she was sure hugged his perfect ass in a way that would make her appreciate them, furthering her evidence that she was going to Hell (for ogling her sugar daddy, of all things), and he was holding a small, black bag. Rey smiled at him, feeling more at ease even as her stomach erupted into butterflies.

“Hey,” she said softly, tucking an errant piece of hair behind her ear.

“How are you today, sweetheart?” Poe asked, stepping in to kiss her cheek. Rey’s breath caught in her chest, stuttering from having him so close. The scent of his cologne threatened to knock down what was left of her self-control, and to have her try to climb this perfectly nice man in the middle of uptown. Poe looked nervous when she didn’t respond. “Sorry, sorry, I should have…um - Should I not –"

“No!” Rey shook her head and smiled at him eagerly. “No, you should, it’s um, really nice? Yeah. It just caught me off guard, no one’s ever really—”

“Greeted you that way?” Poe finished, looking guilty. “It’s an old man thing, I guess.”

Rey rolled her eyes. He wasn’t even close to being an old man. “No, I was actually going to say ‘no one’s ever seemed that excited to see me’ _._ ” She meant it half-jokingly, but Poe looked almost upset by her dig at herself. She grabbed him by the hand before he could do something ridiculous like convince her he cared about her outside of this arrangement. “Thank you for making reservations, Mr. Dameron,” she said sweetly. She was still getting the hang of this, but she knew that was a fast and easy way to reroute his brain. Sure enough, he smirked at her, and he allowed her to pull him towards the doors.

They were seated within seconds of walking in, the hostess leading them back to a corner booth sectioned off from the rest of the restaurant. Rey giggled to herself, pulling the curtain at the end of the semi-circular booth back and forth, cutting them off from the other patrons. “I like this,” she declared regally, leaving the curtain in place.

“It’s like flying first class,” Poe commented, forgoing examining the menu. Rey decided to not even look, not wanting to see the prices.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never done that,” she said serenely, sipping at the water already set out for them.

“Flown first class?” Poe asked.

“Flown at all,” Rey replied. “Never, uh – never had the reason.” Or the means. Or the destination. “I um,” she fumbled for the right words, staring at the middle of the booth, the empty, safe space. “I was…I always thought my parents would come back for me.” She fidgeted, remembering that Poe only knew that she’d been in foster care, not the reason for it past the general ‘they just didn’t want me.’ She sighed and made herself finish. “I thought if I stayed in one place, they might come back. Silly really. Waiting on junkies who apparently traded me for their next hit.” She snorted a bitter laugh and forced herself to look across the booth at Poe.

He wasn’t there.

Instead, he was sliding over towards her, his hand already reaching out. Feeling impossibly fragile, she took it, and sniffed – she wondered where the tears had come from, but she refused to let them fall – and allowed herself to be tugged inward slightly. It was a tangle of limbs in an embrace, and her calves slipped between his shins, their knees bumping together, his arms around her, his hand warm on her back, on the skin exposed by the dress, and she focused on that point of heat, something entirely different from comfort lancing through her at the proximity to him –

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair, once her head was cradled on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry – I’ll take you flying whenever you want, yeah? Anywhere you want. Just us, if you want, or you can bring Rosie and Paige, I don’t – God, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Rey pointed out, fiddling with his top button. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I guess not.” Poe’s mouth was against her hair, and if she closed her eyes, she could pretend he was kissing her, that he wanted to kiss her. “But I’m still sorry.”

Approaching footsteps alerted them of the waitress coming by – Rey tried to pull away, but Poe made a noise of protest, holding on a moment longer. It warmed her heart, but her embarrassment was stronger, and when she tugged away a second time, he released her, keeping only his hold on her hand (and maybe her heart). He was still stroking his thumb across her knuckles when the waitress ducked around the partition to address them.

Rey had no idea what he said in those twenty seconds; she didn’t take her eyes off his face, and she knew he didn’t take his off of hers, either. She was sure he ordered something, just by the rhythm of it, but the way his eyes searched hers required too much attention for her to bother with silly details like what she was going to eat for lunch.

After the waitress had left, Poe frowned down at their clasped hands, a worry wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. Rey really, really wanted to smooth it out with her fingers, or maybe her lips, but Poe spoke, and she got distracted. “About your list, sweetheart.”

It was Rey’s turn to frown. “Oh?” It was too much. She knew it. She asked for too much, she always did, she demanded too much, took up too many resources, and –

“It was very practical.” Poe’s smile was teasing, and Rey relaxed somewhat. Practical wasn’t exorbitant, wasn’t extravagant, wasn’t obnoxious. “Very functional, and I approve of that, especially if that’s what you really like. But uh – other than a general idea of what kind of books you like, I don’t know what sort of pretty things you’d want me to buy. Or anything more expensive that you need me to cover.”

Honestly, Rey wanted a new apartment, but she wasn’t about to ask another human being for shelter. It was _her_ apartment, even if it was shitty, and she was terrified of her creepy neighbor. Nope. It was her home, and she paid for it.

“I’ll let you know if something comes to mind,” she said softly. “But as for pretty things, I meant what I said. I trust your judgement. This?” She gestured at her dress, picking up the hem for a second. “This is perfect, Mr. Dameron. Thank you so much. It’s so pretty.”

“I think it being pretty has a good deal to do with who’s wearing it,” Poe teased, and Rey chose to ignore it. “But I do need to give you something. It’s not pretty, but it has to do with the last item on your list.”

“Oh!” Rey bounced excitedly – he _did_ get her the prepaid minutes, that was going to be so nice – and he handed her the bag. She pulled out the tissue paper carefully and pulled out –

A phone.

A new phone.

A top of the line, not even on the market yet phone.

A _Resistance Tech_ phone.

“Um,” Rey squeaked, holding the box. “Um.”

“Is it the wrong color?” Poe asked anxiously. Rey stared at him as though he’d grown two heads – she hadn’t even fucking _looked_ at the color. That was the least of her worries.

“This is a really nice phone,” Rey managed to say. “Like. I don’t know a whole lot about it, but I do know that Resistance Tech phones are the nicest phones. Like that shit’s out of the Jetsons.”

“Thank you.” The shit-eating grin on his face didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

“Seriously, I saw one of these at a demonstration once.” Finn had dragged her to a convention, a much bigger fan of that kind of tech than she was (Rey preferred machines to gadgets, and as someone who’d never even had a facebook, she didn’t fuck with tech that often). She waved the box around before setting it on the table gently. “They were, uh—” Expensive. Fancy. Gorgeous. “Impressive.”

“Thank you, thank you.” Poe rested his chin on his hand and smiled at her. It was almost infuriating, like he had some secret joke he was telling inside his mind, his eyes crinkled up at the corners in amusement.

“How did you even get a hold of this?” Rey asked, choosing to ignore the weird face Poe was making. She picked the box up again and examined it carefully. “Finn said the newest model wasn’t even out yet.”

“I know the CEO.” She looked up, eyebrows raised. That made sense.

“Oh, cool! Were they at the auction, too?” Maybe she’d met them, God, Finn would shit himself if he knew. They hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks, but they were getting lunch in a few days, and he would _definitely_ lose it if he knew she’d met the guy behind the Resistance and hadn’t even realized it.

She was stirred from her thoughts by Poe cracking up. He laughed harder than she’d ever seen him laugh, his hands over his face, leaning over the table. Tears actually leaked out of his eyes when he laughed, and Rey stared in shock. “Sorry,” he snorted, his shoulders shaking from his efforts to stop laughing. “No – no, sorry, um, I want to- uh- shit,” He paused and took a small sip of water, forcing himself to swallow it, his laughter dying almost all the way. His face was still pink, but his next smile was sheepish. “Let me precede this by saying I, in no way, was laughing at you. I was just – it’s so marvelous that you had no idea – and I just thought about how ridiculous it is – um. Sorry.” Poe coughed, and Rey was still staring at him, and clearly her expression was anxious enough because the rest of the laughter disappeared from his face. Poe held his hand out, palm up, on the table, and Rey took it quickly.

“Sorry,” he said, his thumb stroking the side of her hand. “It’s just – I’m? The CEO of Resistance Technology. It’s me. That’s how I was able to, uh…” he trailed off, pointing at the box, and Rey felt her jaw drop as she processed what he’d told her.

“Oh.” She said it faintly, her cheeks warming. “You must think I’m an idiot.” She blinked rapidly, her brain still reeling.

She knew next to nothing about the tech world, and didn’t care too much about the heavy hitters in it – Resistance Tech was innovative, sure, but they still had to catch up to Microsoft and Apple, and she didn’t think she could pick Bill Gates or Steve Jobs out of a line up, either – but she had a feeling it was massively embarrassing that she was an adult who didn’t know who the CEO of the Resistance was.

“I definitely don’t.” Poe squeezed her hand, and his voice was so sincere, she managed to look at him again. “I really don’t, sweetheart. I’m surrounded by people all day who only talk to me because I’m the CEO and I design some nice shit, or whatever. And – it’s nice that you had no idea. It feels nice that I had to tell you, like a normal –” he coughed, and Rey winced, a reminder that their arrangement was far from normal, “It just feels organic, you know? It’s usual to tell a date stuff like that, but usually the women I’m with already know because they did beforehand, or because they googled me.”

“I thought about it,” Rey admitted. “I really did, but it seemed…weird. Invasive.”

“I googled _you_ ,” Poe said, taking another sip of his water.

“No,” Rey whispered, horrified.

“Kidding,” Poe assured her, winking. “Your skeletons can remain your skeletons. Normally I’d do more research, but Paige vouched for you, and I trust Paige with my life.”

“She’s good people,” Rey acknowledged, and Poe hummed in agreement. “But Poe, even if you did design this phone, or whatever – thank you. This is so – thank you. This really makes my life a lot easier, you have no idea.” She smiled at him hesitantly, wondering if this would be a bad time to ask for a kiss, but the waitress came back with their first course, and they were slightly sidetracked (Okay, Rey was really hungry and made terrifyingly short work of her salad).

“I did have one other thing to ask you about, Sunshine,” Poe said casually, after she’d cleaned her plate and he was about halfway done. Rey looked up from her dish (she’d been contemplating licking it clean), and smiled uneasily. “This weekend, I’m going away, and I’d like for you to come with me.”

“Yeah?” Rey remembered the clause in the contract that had pointed out that one trip a month would be the expectation. It was the end of the first month, so here they were.

“Yes.” Poe set his utensils down and looked at her fully. “It’s out in Colorado, at the Takodana Inn and Resort. There’d be a few events, but mostly I’m there to put in an appearance for my friend who’s trying to get the resort more on the map. And, well…”

“You’re richer than God and your attendance would be good press,” Rey pieced together. She grinned at the small shrug Poe made. “I’d love to go. When do we leave?”

“We’d leave early Saturday morning, on a plane,” he nudged her with his foot under the table, and she giggled. “And we’d fly back Sunday night. Does that work with your schedule?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Rey would have to call in a favor with one of the guys at the shop, but she could always agree to work a double this week for them to pick up her Saturday afternoon shift. “Sounds good to me.”

The rest of their lunch passed peacefully, with Poe and Rey making idle chitchat as though he wasn’t one of the richest men in the country. He walked her out afterwards, and kissed her cheek again before opening the door to her Uber.

Rey turned around right before the car turned the corner; sure enough, Poe Dameron remained standing on the sidewalk, unbothered by the push and pull of midday pedestrians milling around him. He just stood there and watched her car drive away, and Rey fought a dangerous feeling she hadn’t had to fight in so long – the idea that she was someone worth looking at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split this planned chapter in half (again)-  
> In the next chapter, "The Overnight," Rey and Poe go away, share a *ahem* charged moment, but run into a familiar face from Poe's past.


	6. The Overnight (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey go away for the weekend; truths come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG WARNING:  
> *TW: Alcohol/Overdrinking - Rey gets drunk, says things she'll regret later  
> *TW: Child Abuse/Neglect - Rey shares details of her childhood with Poe INCLUDING a non-graphic description of being beaten. 
> 
>  
> 
> Another warning: mention of past Poe/Other Female Character (exactly who will be revealed). She describes their sex life in frank, graphic detail, not aware (really! I promise! She's a decent person!) that she's upsetting Rey.
> 
> Angst ahoy!

Rey left the shop, sweaty and exhausted. She’d agreed to work a double for Remi, and it was nearing eight o’clock when she climbed aboard the bus and headed to Rose’s new apartment.

She’d packed a change of clothes in her backpack that morning, and she was going to spend the night with Paige, Rose and Finn before Poe came to get her the next day. Her other option was to have Poe pick her up at her apartment (he was adamantly opposed to having her go to his place per the norm, given that they lived closer to the freeway, which they needed to take to get to the airfield), so she opted for a Girls (Plus Finn) Night.

Her stop came up quickly, and she leapt off and walked as quickly as she could on her sore legs to Finn and Rose’s apartment, a cute one bedroom in a middle class neighborhood. She had to check in at the desk to be granted access to the building, and then she took an elevator to their fifth floor apartment. She spent the trip upwards fretting about her weekend, and fidgeting with pent-up energy that fused oddly with the exhaustion in her bones.

Soon enough, she was at their door which was thrown open wide with a triple exclamation of “Rey!” She was pulled into a massive hug by Finn, whom she hadn’t seen in person in weeks.

“How’ve you been, Peanut?” Finn pulled away to grin at her, and Rey wrinkled her nose.

“Good, I suppose,” Rey smiled at him. “I’ve definitely smelled better.”

“You can say that again,” Paige winked at her from the counter, where she was pouring large glasses of soda. “I already called in the pizza, so if you go shower it should be here when you get out.”

“Bless you,” Rey moaned, stumbling for the bathroom.

“I put extra towels out!” Rose chirped, and Rey muttered a thanks before throwing herself into the small, tidy bathroom and kicking the door shut.

Fifteen minutes later, she felt significantly more human, luxuriating in the warm water (a luxury she did not have at her own apartment) and soft sweatpants she’d swapped out her uniform for.

When she re-entered the kitchen, Finn was there, leaning up against the fridge, talking with Rose while Paige paid the delivery person. He paused in what he was saying and took a dramatic sniff. “Well, that’s a lot better, now isn’t it?” He asked, winking at her. Rey flipped him off, hip checked him out of the way, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

They traded half-assed barbs as Rose and Paige grabbed plates, and soon they were too busy poking each other in an attempt to get the best slice of pizza to talk. Rey scurried to an open ottoman with her piece of pepperoni, and Finn trailed after her, his plate loaded high with a slice of every kind of pizza that Paige had ordered.

“So,” Paige grinned at Rey, settling in on the couch next to her sister. “Excited for tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Finn perked up, looked back and forth between Rose and Paige. “What’s tomorrow?”

Rey shot Paige a glare and cleared her throat. “I’m … going away for the weekend.”

Finn stared at her, mouth wide open, clearly in shock. Rose took the opportunity to swipe a mushroom off one of his slices, which startled him back to the land of the living. “Hey! Hey I saw that – _what_?” He fixed Rey with an odd look. “You’re – going away? For a whole weekend? Just like that?”

“Yep.” Rey fiddled with her plate and then smiled at Rose. “How’s your internship going, Petal?”

“It’s going really well—”

“No, no, no,” Finn interrupted his girlfriend, whose responding glare could melt steel. “Sorry, babe, sorry, but— _what?_ Rey “I Haven’t Take a Vacation In My Life” Smith is going away for a casual weekend? Since when?”

“I found out the other day,” Rey answered truthfully.

“Is it for work?” Finn’s brow furrowed, as he was well aware Rey didn’t have the kind of job one traveled for.

“Sort of,” Paige muttered, and Rey fought the urge to wing the decorative pillow she was sitting on at her friend’s head.

“Sort of?” Finn’s face twisted in confusion, but his phone thankfully rang. “Ah, shit, gotta grab this, it’s Phasma—”

“Your boss?” Rey remembered him mentioning her a few weeks back, when he was starting his job as an accountant.

“Mhm.” Rose draped herself over the back of the couch to holler at her boyfriend, “Tell her she’s a piece of shit, and I hate her!” She flopped back down on the cushion, and smacked Paige on the shoulder. “Finn doesn’t know about Poe!”

“He doesn’t?” Paige gave Rey a searching look. “But he’s your best friend, hon, why wouldn’t he know?”

“I signed an NDA.” Rey stared at her hands, well aware that the tips of her ears had turned red.

“What?” She looked up to see Paige staring at her in shock.

“You introduced us,” Rey muttered, fighting back the embarrassment. “You know – what we are.”

“Well, yeah, but,” Paige makes an angry scoffing noise. “An _NDA_?”

“You and Rose already know because you were there at the beginning,” Rey said. “But, I’m not supposed to tell anyone else. No friends, no family.” She laughed, bitterly. “Not that that last one is really a problem.” Rose made a noise of sympathy and moved over to sit next to Rey on the ottoman, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, but,” Paige shook her head, confusion still in her eyes. “Finn’s your _best_ friend – surely Poe wouldn’t care.”

“Mr. Dameron’s contract was very specific,” Rey said, staring at the ground. “No one else knows about us.”

She swore she saw something like disgust cross Paige’s face, and it stabbed her in the gut to think her friend, honestly a person she considered as family, would be disgusted with her, but she fought that back, too. Paige had started all of this. She didn’t get to judge now.

“That must be some really kinky sex,” Rose said, wiggling next to Rey. Her bright smile suggested that she was trying to veer the conversation lighter, and Rey’s face heated under the attention. “Oh! It _is,_ isn’t it? What’s he like?”

“Ew,” Paige protested, “That’s my _friend,_ Rose—”

“I wouldn’t know.” The sisters stopped making faces at each other to stare at her in shock. “He’s barely even touched me.”

“What?” Rose’s mouth was still open in surprise. “He _what_? That’s ridiculous! Has he seen you? You’re hot!”

“Thanks,” Rey snorted, nudging Rose with her shoulder. “But no, he – he was pretty clear about that, too. He doesn’t expect sex from this. And I don’t think he wants it with me, either.”

Paige’s mouth opened briefly, as though she wanted to say something, but she cut herself off, frowning slightly.

“What?” Rose demanded. “No, out with it—”

“Nothing,” Paige shook her head and smiled, but it was a false kind of bright. “I mean – do you want to have sex with him?”

“Yes,” Rey whispered. She hated being this open, but honestly it was tearing her up a little bit, to know that Poe didn’t want what she so desperately did. “Yes, I really, _really_ do. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Figures I’d feel it about someone who doesn’t want me back.”

“Maybe that’s what this weekend is for,” Rose suggested helpfully, her smile back and genuine. “He’s gonna put the moves on you! Someone that hot and experienced, he’s _gotta_ have moves, right Paige?”

“Right.” Paige’s eyes were still distant, but her smile was a little warmer when she looked at Rey. “I’m sure that’s what it is, honey. He’s just waiting for the right time.”

They were saved from further, awkward topics with Finn’s return. He dramatically collapsed on the free couch and bemoaned his monstrous boss – “ _and she could definitely just pick me up and yeet me into the trash whenever she wanted, the lady is tall!”_ to which Rose responded, “ _tall and hot,_ ” which Finn begrudgingly agreed to – and they stayed away from Rey’s sex life for the next hour while they all sat and chatted.

But around midnight, Rose caught Rey on the way to the bedroom, tugged her close and whispered, “You could always force his hand, you know. Ask him to buy you something sexy, wear it for him.”

Rey opened her mouth to dismiss it, but what she said was, “You think that would work?”

“Works with Finn,” Rose winked at her and ran away giggling mischievously. Rey smiled fondly at her retreating friend and then walked back to the couch and fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

Rey stared out in abject wonder at the snow beyond the window. She was still incredibly giddy from her first flight – Poe had watched her intently, she knew, as she watched the clouds go by, and when she settled back against the seat and rested her head on his shoulder, he’d kissed the side of her head, causing warmth to spool from her nose to her toes – and she knew she should probably be changing for today’s big event (some cocktail party Poe said he was needed at, to ‘shmooze’ and rub elbows with other stupidly rich people), but she was too enraptured by the peaks stretching out in the distance to move.

“Like what you see?” Poe’s voice came from behind her, and Rey turned, ready to answer, before her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He was wearing a tuxedo, gray this time, the jacket laid out on the bed next to him (they were staying in a suite, and he’d made absolutely no suggestion of whether or not he preferred if Rey take the adjoining bedroom, or share his bed with him), and he looked quite honestly, good enough to eat, an expression Rey now fully understood.

“Yes,” she whispered, not bothering to hide how intensely she was checking him out, heeding Rose’s advice to encourage him as much as possible. “I really do.”

Poe, shockingly, blushed, and smiled at her softly, turning away and fiddling with his cufflinks. “Your dress is in the other room,” he said, tossing his head backwards towards the doorway. “There are others if you hate it.”

Rey crossed over to touch him lightly on the arm; he stopped in what he was doing and tilted his head towards her, not quite looking up from the bedspread which had become somehow the most fascinating thing in the room to him. “I’m sure I’ll love it, if you picked it,” she said warmly, “Mr. Dameron.” He _did_ look at her after that, and she thrilled at the heady expression he wore. She bit her lip and walked through the doorway without another word.

And somehow, she could sense his eyes on her back every step of the way.

The dress he’d chosen was an emerald green, a color she wildly approved of, and it was long, but cut dangerously low in the back. It tied around her neck like a halter top, and cascaded beautiful from the tight waist. Rey smiled when she realized that no one would be able to tell she wasn’t wearing heels with a skirt this long, and she slipped on the comfortable silver flats that had been left out with the dress.

She wore the diamond bracelet Poe had given her before the auction (she was mildly relieved to find that the tiara was not lying out for her to wear, as pretty as it was, she’d look ridiculous), and she fixed her hair, smoothing it into a suitable style that Rose had coached her on ad nauseam the last few weeks. She consulted a WikiHow article one last time before applying her mascara (she still didn’t trust herself not to stab her eye by accident with the applicator), and then walked out feeling slightly as though she were going to war (so what if her underwear was pretty, so what if she decided against wearing a bra – with this dress, she had to, honestly).

“Well?” Rey stood in the doorway, and arched a brow at Poe’s back. He turned around, halfway through tying his bow-tie, and his hands dropped to his waist. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful,” he said almost reverently. Rey scoffed and shrugged slightly, casting her eyes downward and crossing into the room. “No, really, sweetheart, you look amazing.”

“Yeah, right.” Rey tugged on her earlobe, feeling shy in his gaze, and Poe beamed at her.

“Oh! I have something for you.” He slipped a blue box out of his pants pocket and walked over to her. “Wear these tonight?”

Rey smiled at him and opened the box slowly, feeling her eyes widen at the sight of the gorgeous diamond earrings inside. They were simple but elegant, and each earring had five diamonds held together by a small silver chain. She didn’t know a lot about jewelry, but she knew this must have cost a small fortune. “I can’t,” she gasped. “No, Poe, really it’s too much—”

“Please?” He asked, looking nervous strangely, and Rey nodded, forcing herself to smile despite her own nerves.

“They’re beautiful,” she said, “Really beautiful, thank you so much.” He looked a little more at ease, and Rey looked around for the nearest mirror.

There was one on the inside of the wardrobe door, that Poe had opened while tying his bow tie, so she went to it and fastened the earrings carefully. They flashed against her earlobe, dangling down almost two inches towards her shoulder. “Wow,” she murmured, turning her head slightly so they caught the light. She smiled at the rainbow it cast on her neck, and then giggled. “Oh, wow. Thank you, thank you thank you!”

“You’re so wonderful,” Poe sighed, walking up to the wardrobe and smiling at her. Rey closed the door and squirmed.

“No ‘m not,” she muttered, turning away, cheeks flushing.

“Yeah you are,” Poe insisted, his hand on her upper arm, tugging her to face him again. Her back hit the door of the closet, and Poe stood in front of her, sincerity pouring out of his eyes, his pores, his words. “You’re amazing. Wonderful. Phenomenal.” Rey blushed deeper, and Poe continued to praise her. It lit nerves in her body she wasn’t aware existed prior to this point, and still, his honey-warm voice washed over her, “—so lucky that you even look at me, honestly, do you know how incredible it is to walk into a room with you at my side? I feel like I’m a hundred feet tall when you’re with me.”

“Yeah?” Rey whispered, gnawing at her bottom lip. Poe’s hand cupped her cheek; his thumb smoothed a line over her lip, freeing it from her teeth. Rey forgot how to breathe.

She forgot where they were.

She forgot who she _was._

“Absolutely,” he promised. Was he aware of what he was doing to her, to her body? His pupils were blown wide, so maybe he did. “You’re perfect, and—”

Rey had seen porn. Rey enjoyed (some) porn. Rey enjoyed masturbating to particular fantasies, some more than others. Which is why she opened her mouth and said, “Am I good? Mr. Dameron?”

_Oh, fuck you, Smith –_

“You _are_ good,” Poe answered, voice a half octave lower. He stepped in closer, and Rey stepped back, forgetting that she was, in fact, already up against the wardrobe. She slammed into it, and his hand cradled her head, the other resting at her hip. “You’re so good, sweetheart.”

Rey meant to say something smart-ass, something that would shut down this very dangerous line of activity, but she whimpered instead. God, she’d never made that sound in her life, but she whimpered here, in Poe Dameron’s gaze, in his arms. She tilted her chin up, trying to breathe, trying to break the incredibly intense eye contact, to avoid his burning gaze –

The hand at the back of her head shifted, and his thumb ran from the mid-point of her neck up to the bottom of her jaw. “So good,” he whispered. “You’re perfect, baby, you have no idea.” Hesitantly, obviously with enough time to give her to say no – she meant to say _yes, yes, please yes,_ but her breath hadn’t returned to her body – Poe leaned in, and his lips brushed against the base of her throat. Rey gasped as his mouth grew slightly more insistent, still barely enough pressure to register, but enough pressure to send a thrill straight to her core – his hand drifted back to her hair, tugging slightly, tilting her head back further. His free hand braced against the cabinet next to her head, as though he were forcing himself to limit his touch to her hair and her throat.

His nose bumped up against the bottom of the earrings, and he whispered, “I do like these.” And she burned even brighter than before.

She writhed, desperate for more, and gasped out an approximation of “Mr. Dameron” and “please,” and then even more embarrassingly, “please, please, please.”

He chuckled, a vibration that echoed under her jaw, his scruff leaving an over-stimulated sort of burn in its wake, and asked, “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“You,” she gasped, her hands finally remembering that yeah, they could move, and no, they weren’t tied down (although wasn’t _that_ an idea), and she grasped his hips, scrabbling in her search for belt loops, tugging him closer. “I just want you, please—”

“I’m yours,” he whispered, and she twisted her hips forward, trying to get him to press against her in that way, to close the gap, to—

The phone rang.

Fucker.

***

Rey smiled at Poe from her spot at the bar; she wanted to sit down, her legs still sore from work yesterday, and Poe needed to do some more schmoozing. Right now, he was laughing charmingly with a few people in nice suits, and pointing at something outside window of Takodana’s chalet. Outside, the stars sparkled with an almost fairy tale like loveliness, the fresh coat of snow on the ground catching some of the light from the skies.

She was considering excusing herself from the party to explore the snow – she’d never _seen_ it, not quite like this, only in flurries and never enough to coat the ground – when the stool next to hers was suddenly claimed.

“Hey there.” Rey turned from her examination of the world outside to her new companion.

She was beautiful – almost intimidatingly so, if it weren’t for the playful smile on her perfect mouth. The woman was wearing a red dress, modestly cut but in a way that somehow emphasized even _more_ her figure, curvy but lean. The color set perfectly against her light brown skin, and her eyes were intelligent and curious. Rey gulped, wished she had a drink in her hand, and stammered back a greeting.

As though sensing Rey’s wish, the woman flagged down the bartender, who appeared as though he’d been magically summoned. “I need a round of shots for me and my new friend,” she cooed, “Tequila, please,” and the man nodded hastily, scurrying away to heed the woman’s request. “I’m Jess,” the mysterious woman said, holding a perfectly manicured hand out. Rey took it and prayed her callouses weren’t incredibly noticeable. The woman’s smile didn’t falter, and Rey relaxed a little bit.

“Rey Smith,” she said, smiling back at last. The shots appeared, and Jess waited to grab one, instead fixing Rey with an odd look, still playful, but slightly more calculating. Rey sat up straighter in response.

“You’re here with Poe Dameron?” She asked, her eyes flickering over to Poe.

“Yes,” Rey smiled back at him, and then smiled more tentatively at Jess. “Do you know him?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Her seatmate countered. Rey nodded to acknowledge her point. “But – he and I do go way back.” She nudged Rey playfully and smiled. “Lighten up, honey, I’m the only person here who understands how awkward you must feel right now.”

“What?” Rey asked, freezing slightly. “I – I—I’m not awkward.”

Jess looked concerned, genuinely so. “No! That’s not what I meant – it’s just – well, are you really here under normal circumstances.”

Rey stared at the table, her neck heating up from anxiety.

“I know he probably had you sign some bullshit non-disclosure thing,” Jess sighed. “Thank God he wasn’t into that when we had our arrangement because I cannot keep my mouth shut. Here! Have a shot.”

She handed Rey a small glass, and then very demonstratively licked salt off her hand, downed her own shot, and sucked the lime. Not wanting to get left behind, Rey repeated her action, coughing at the bitter aftertaste of the liquor. “Terrible, isn’t it?” Jess grinned at her, and then leaned in. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to let anyone know about you and Dameron. I’m mostly kidding when I say I can’t keep a secret – no one knows about him and me. Well, except for my current daddy.”

She leaned around Rey and waggled her fingers at a handsome man in his early fifties. He waved back and winked at her, and Jess blew him a kiss. “I’m shitting you there,” she giggled, settling back in her seat. “John’s my husband. Doesn’t know about Poe – well, he doesn’t know his name – and he started off as my daddy, but we liked each other too much to pretend it was just about money.”

“You don’t say,” Rey muttered, still incredibly mortified by this entire conversation. She did another shot without Jess, who hooted in encouragement and rushed to join her.

“How is Dameron?” Jess gave her a searching look, something like concern etched in her lovely face. “I mean – I hear from him here and there, and I definitely hear about him from the news, but – is he happy?”

“I … think so?” Rey answered, flushed from the alcohol. Her mouth felt looser than normal, so she said against her better judgment, “He’s happy when we’re together.”

“Good,” Jess’s smile was warm and easy, and Rey smiled back with equal ease. They did another shot – Rey couldn’t remember if it were three or four before, her insides turning liquid and hot and strangely disconnected. “Good, he was still so upset about everything when we started.”

“How long were you two … you know…?” Rey winced as she asked the artless question.

“I was his sugar baby for … about a year?” Jess’s face screwed up as she thought back on it. Rey stared at her, shocked. That was well past the three month period they agreed to on their contract. “We had sex casually for a while after that, but I wanted more, and you know, Poe and his walls.” Jess shrugged cheerfully and downed another shot. Rey followed her lead, squirming.

“I don’t really know,” Rey laughed nervously. “We’ve only been doing this for a few weeks.”

“Oh!” Jess beamed at her. “Oh, _God,_ the sex was so hot the first few weeks. Isn’t it _crazy_? That man,” Jess shook her beautiful flowing hair, laughing, and Rey willed the floor to open up and swallow her whole. “I mean, I was twenty then, way more flexible, but I still don’t know how he got me into half those positions.”

Rey meeped (yeah, that was a sound she could make) and Jess roared with delighted laughter. “Oh shit! No, I’m sorry, that was TMI. Like, oh Jesus, that one time with all the money on the bed. He’s just railing me, and I’m like face to face with Alexander Hamilton, and then I started to crack up, and he started to crack up, and we sort of just sat in bed sans money and watched shitty tv after that.” Jess smiled fondly, and Rey tried to echo the expression. It didn’t work.

The laughter died down, and Jess examined an empty shot glass, looking thoughtful. “If you say he’s happy though, that’s – that’s really good. He was so sad when we were together. I could tell he was trying his best to keep it together, but,” she shrugged, pain tightening her features. “Fuck, the military was everything to him.”

Rey stared at her, stirred from her place of determined concentration, the place where she definitely wasn’t thinking about the man she was almost certainly in love with ‘railing’ this gorgeous woman on a bed full of money (she wondered if she could pour bleach into her brain to forget it), and asked, “Military?”

The word came out slower than she’d intended, and Jess frowned at her. “Yeah – the – you know…” Rey shook her head, and Jess looked upset for the first time since they started talking. “Shit. Well, shit. Um. Yeah, well, he served for a while. Went to the Academy and everything, followed in his mother’s footsteps.” _What? Why didn’t she know this?_ “He was so, so upset when he left. I mean. Understandably.” Jess sighed and then looked over Rey’s shoulder. “Oh, fuck, my husband _hates_ that guy. I’m gonna go save him real fast. Save my seat! You gotta dish some more on that amazing dress, it is _killer_ on you!”

Rey mumbled something that could have been a confirmation, but mostly she sat there, blinking slowly, willing the tears to leave her eyes.

She checked the clock behind the bar – it was nearing eleven p.m. Surely they’d been there long enough. Someone cleared their throat behind her, and Rey swiveled and came nose to nose with Poe.

“Hey, sweetheart,” his smile was soft, and it made her want to cry even more. “How’s it going? Sorry that took too long.”

“I wanna go to bed,” Rey said, blinking rapidly.

“Of course,” Poe grinned at her. “God, I can’t stand being here another minute anyway..” she hopped down from the stool and walked towards the lobby before he had time to finish that thought. Poe followed close behind.

“Are you drunk?” Poe asked teasingly as they walked towards the elevators. Rey nodded, and wrapped an arm around her middle, swaying while Poe pressed the ‘up’ button. The elevator doors dinged open, and she shuffled inside, not trusting her feet to take real steps. Poe pressed the button for their suite and inserted his card; the elevator would take them right to their rooms, which was fancy, and Rey would make a joke, if she were even close to being in that kind of mood.

As it was, she fidgeted miserably in silence for the twenty seconds it took them to reach their floor. Poe asked her something, something concerned, that was lost to her intense focus, her inner monologue mostly consisting of _don’t fall over, don’t tip over, don’t don’t don’t_.

Once the doors closed behind them, she sniffed, pathetically; Poe was there in an instant, his hand warm on her arm. “What is it? Are you feeling sick?”

She shook her head, and tried to fight back what she was feeling after what she just heard. Nah. Not gonna work. Poe moved past her, farther into the room, and she spun to follow him, but felt like she was going to fall after a few steps, so she froze.

And then the question came.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in the military?” She asked, feeling bleary-eyed. Her words came out slower than she thought them, and the air in the room was syrup-sticky.

“I – what?” Poe was at the bedside, pulling back covers – for her, she knew, but it didn’t stop the hurt in her stomach –  and he turned to look at her. She turned away.

“You were in the military,” Rey repeated. “For a long time, apparently. And … it was important to you. You were sad when you left.”

“How do you know all that?” Poe sounded – scared. Huh.

“ _She_ told me,” Rey mumbled, unable to keep it back any longer. “Your—” she hiccuped, hating herself, but not bothering to stop the tone of jealousy in her voice. “—first sugar baby, or whatever. The original SB.”

“You talked to Jess?” Poe didn’t sound alarmed, which was probably a good thing, right? Like, nothing to hide.

“She knew a lot about you,” Rey said. It sounded just like she meant it. An accusation. “Seemed weird that I only know your name and where you work. Which I sorta found out by accident.”

“It was different with Jess.” Poe settled down on the bed next to Rey. “She – she was a lot more experienced with this than I was when we started, and we didn’t have an NDA, either. I didn’t know how to do anything but spend money. Didn’t know how to protect feelings.”

“No?” Rey said, her feelings already plenty, weirdly hurt. “Is that why you don’t talk about yourself? Is that why we haven’t had sex?”

Poe froze, and Rey did too. She honestly hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but now that it was out, she didn’t regret it.

“That’s…” Poe shifted next to her on the bed, but she didn’t look up from her bare feet. She studied the green polish dispassionately while she waited for him to finish his thought. “I’m not going to talk to you about sex while you’re drunk, Rey. That’s just not something I want when you might not remember what you say.”

“Kay.” Rey felt tears prick at her eyes. He hadn’t even raised his voice, but she could tell he was disappointed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Poe asked, but she was already lurching forward with her words, all in a rush to get out into the open.

“I’m sorry I’m drunk,” she whispered, balling her hands into fists. “I’ve never – Jess kept giving me drinks, and it – it seemed rude to say no…I’ve never had more than one or two drinks before, I – I – I don’t like this,” she sounded like she was sobbing. She was sobbing. The words weren’t stopping. Poe’s hand rested on her shoulder, and he said something, probably comforting, but it was lost to the roar in her ears. She stood shakily and wrapped her hands around her body. The room swayed around her, and Poe was saying something about _water, you need –_ “I don’t like being drunk,” she spat out, and there was a bottle of water in her hand, which she ignored. Poe was standing next to her, but it honestly hurt to look at him, he was so pretty, and so bizarrely unattainable given the nature of their relationship. “I don’t – my foster father used to get drunk.”

Poe had taken the bottle and cracked it open, offered it to her, and now his hand was frozen in the space between them; she looked at him, then, a weird sense of not-quite-calm falling over her. His curls were oddly – what was the word – rumpled, and his tie was loose, and his jacket was gone. He looked worried.

She opened her mouth to apologize for making him worried, but what came out was: “He used to get drunk and hit me. Well, he hit me when he was sober too, yeah? But like, it was worse when he’d been drinking.” Poe stepped forward, the water falling to his side, his free hand reaching out, but Rey stared at one of his shinier than a pearl buttons and kept going, feeling distant from this particular moment while her mind went backward. “One – one time was really bad. I’d just turned sixteen. Well. They thought I had. My – _birthday,_ ” She spat the word out. “Is really just the day they found me. Abandoned in a crackhouse.” She sang it, hoping it would make it sound funnier, less pathetic. “They have no idea what happened to me, but they’d pulled in a junkie or whatever who’d been crying because she’d sold her daughter. They put two and two – well okay, they put DNA together and it was me, but her heart had already failed. Anyway, where was I—”

“Sweetheart,” Poe interrupted, “Sit down, please, drink this.” Rey shook her head, let him guide her to the bed, took the water, and barely a sip before more words spilled out.

“So, yeah, my sixteenth birthday. Unkar, he uh – he wasn’t happy that I came home from school with cards from some of my friends. They’d figured out it was my birthday, so they made me some cards, or you know, whatever nice shit friends do for you.” The memory burned even now. “They wanted to take me to dinner, so after I finished my work in the garage – he’s the reason I know so much about cars, really, so thaaaanks, Unkar, he had a chop shop, and I was best at getting the smaller parts out -- He told me they weren’t my real friends, or at least, they wouldn’t be if they knew I’d been thrown away like trash.”

“Sweetheart, _please,_ please just drink the water,” Poe sounded agonized, “Please, don’t say things you wouldn’t when you were sober,” and distantly Rey worried that she was the one making him sad, but the story kept playing like a movie in her head, and the water was loose in her hand, tipping sideways, and the carpet was way easier to look at than Poe Dameron.

“So he walked away and I was like whatever I don’t give a shit what he says,” Rey wiped her nose with her hand, biting through the lie because of course she’d cared, “But I got ready to go out, and I had enough change saved to take the bus into town, and they’d said it was their treat, so, you know, Unkar really couldn’t complain, but when I got to the door, he’d bolted it shut.”

At some point, she’d been pulled into Poe’s arms, and her head rested on his shoulder. He gently guided her legs over his lap, and it was like he was cradling her, and Rey wanted to cry, it was so stupid how safe she felt, but she was already crying, and probably ruining Poe’s shirt, but he was rubbing circles into her back, and it felt so nice.

“Same thing with the back door,” she mumbled. “So I went to the window, and I opened it, and I got ready to climb out, but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back through. Broke the window. Blamed for me for it. Sitting there, covered in broken glass, and I got blamed for it. It was the worst, that time. Thought he was going to kill me. Just remembered the smell of alcohol and copper. Horrible. Anyway, I swore I’d never lose control like that, never – never be at someone’s mercy ever again, especially not at alcohol’s mercy, but—”

“Rey.” Poe’s voice lanced through her reverie, and she stilled. His arms were entirely wrapped around her now. “Baby, please stop.” She nodded, too tired to talk. “Here.” The water was back, and she sipped at it, wincing as it went down her sore throat. Poe’s thumb wiped weakly at her cheek, and she heard a rough sniff – fuck, Poe was crying.

She sat up, her head pulling away from his shoulder, and ignored his soft shushing noise, his hands trying to guide her back down. “I made you sad,” she said, and sure enough, tears were fresh on his face. He half-shrugged, but she stroked her hands down his face, cursing her lack of coordination as it turned into more patting than soothing touch – “No! No, I did, fuck, I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, don’t be sad.”

“It’s okay,” Poe smiled at her, and she realized suddenly that she’d straddled his lap in her move to get closer to him. “I’m okay, sweetheart, really, just – can I hold you?” Rey nodded, settling down again, her knees still on either side of him, and his arms pulled her tight to his chest. Rey’s face ended up tucked into Poe’s neck, and even through the cloud of her drunkenness, she appreciated the smell of his cologne on his skin.

She felt sleepy, a fact that hit her like a train, and she listened to Poe’s voice as she began to fade into the darkness.

“…that never should have happened to you … sweetest person I’ve ever met … I want to take care of you so fucking badly … you have no idea …”

“Poe,” she whispered.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

She opened her mouth to tell him she was pretty sure she loved him, but she fell asleep halfway through the thought.

**

Poe hadn’t felt anger like this since he’d woken up almost ten years ago in the hospital. _Unkar._ That was the name Rey kept muttering in her story, her eyes wincing shut as though just the feeling of forming it was physically painful.

Uncommon name. Easy enough to find.

Poe hadn’t done anything violent to another human being in over ten years, not since he’d left the service, but –

He could change that.

Rey made a soft noise in her sleep, shifting slightly so her nose rubbed against his neck, and he stood carefully, his arms wrapped around her. He kept one firmly supporting her from the bottom while he used his other hand to pull back the covers.

For a moment, he tried to lay her down, but her arms around his neck tightened, and it tugged at his heart in a way that had his shoes being kicked off, and him sitting down again, swinging his legs up one at a time, lying back so he brought her with him. He straightened her legs out so she was stretched out on the bed with him, and then he maneuvered the sheets around her. Her head remained nestled on his chest, her breathing soft and even, blowing across his chest reassuringly.

“No one’s ever going to hurt you again” he swore. It sounded almost ridiculous because she was so far from the life she’d briefly described – but was she? If that fucking monster was her foster father, he reasonably could have had her until eighteen – four years ago.

Poe was 32 four years ago. He remembered 2014 easily, and it didn’t seem far away at all. Fuck.

He needed to – not hunt down Unkar, even though he might want to – no, he needed to figure out a way to assure Rey when she woke up that what she’d told him hadn’t changed anything (Poe was familiar with trauma, horribly intimately familiar with it, and the last thing he’d do would be to think of her differently now), he needed to adjust the way he acted around her, make sure if he was ever angry at work it didn’t come out in conversation with her; he needed to have a long and serious talk with Jessika about not loading up his young, impressionable … companion? He didn’t want to think of Rey as a sugar baby, or however she’d described herself … with alcohol and leaving her vulnerable and upset –

He needed to have a long and serious talk with himself about what he wanted from Rey (especially after this afternoon, God, had it only been seven hours ago when they’d been dancing on that knife’s edge, Poe completely at her mercy, as always as she came alive under his touch) because clearly she wanted more.

Of course he wanted more – but now, knowing just how terrible Rey’s past had been, did he really trust himself not to fuck up her life further? He was messy and complicated, and he’d just complicate her life further, wouldn’t he? If they took that step and became intimate like they almost had today before common sense and Jyn Erso had called. But she’d sounded so upset when she asked why they hadn’t…

Poe fought the urge to groan and instead focused on how perfectly Rey fit in his arms, her sweet face peaceful despite the tracks of her tears dried on her skin, and he made himself reflect on how grateful he was to just get _this_ with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks and hides*
> 
> (I promise they'll talk in part two of this)


	7. The Overnight (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe discuss their relationship the morning after a rough night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey discusses her sexuality frankly. Kinks are listed. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter begins and ends with the same question.

Rey groaned the second she was aware she was awake.

“What the fuck?” She said, slapping a hand over her face and turning over in the bed – Poe’s bed. “What the fuck?” She said louder, sitting bolt upright and looking around wildly. She was wearing her dress from last night, and her shoes were in the corner, and her head hurt, and –

Oh God. Oh, no no no no –

“Good morning.” She looked over to the windows, squinting in the light; Poe sat on one of the plush chairs, the snowy mountains offering a dramatic backdrop. “There’s Advil and water right there.” He pointed to the bedside table, and Rey took the pills, sipping at the water and wincing at the acrid taste in her throat. ‘

“Sorry,” she whispered once she had drunk half the glass and set it back down. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Poe sounded worried, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“For making a fool of myself,” she said, tears stinging at her already sore eyes. “For ruining your night. For being a pain in the ass. For—”

“Stop.” Poe had crossed the room at some point and was now hovering at the end of the bed. Rey drew her feet up towards her body, and Poe settled down on the mattress. “Please don’t apologize for that. You didn’t make a fool of yourself – I didn’t even realize you were that drunk until we got back to the room – you certainly didn’t ruin my night, and you could never be a pain in the ass.” Rey nodded miserably, not believing him, and a warm hand grabbed her foot over the blanket. “Seriously, sweetheart. Please don’t beat yourself up over this. I mean—” He cut himself off, wincing, and Rey snorted.

“You tell a guy about how shitty your childhood was, and then he’s afraid to say anything in front of you,” Rey joked (maybe it wasn’t so much of a joke).

Poe’s eyes were tight with pain – on her behalf? Rey took a risk and pulled the covers down to her lap, undoing the still-made half of the bed (he must have slept on top of the covers, she realized with a jolt). She patted the bed next to her with a nervous smile, and Poe looked at her for a long moment, as though she were a great distance away, before his face settled into a mirror of her smile, and he moved to sit next to her.

She fought the urge to crawl into his lap (she really, really wanted to), and instead cleared her throat. “So,” she said hoarsely, her throat still sore from her hangover and her accidental binge. “…What are you thinking?”

“A lot of things,” Poe said evasively, his fingers playing with the top of the blanket that still lay between them.

“Can you tell me one of them?” Rey said, wiggling closer to him. At this point, she assumed he was going to suggest they tear up the contract (truly the weirdest euphemism she’d ever run into for breaking up), or ask her to leave.

“I’m thinking that…” Poe sat with his knees drawn up to his chest – with his hair still mussed from sleep, and his sweatpants and t-shirt, it was the most dressed down she’d ever seen him, and she hated that she loved it, “We need to be more open with each other, so a repeat of last night doesn’t happen.”

“Oh?” Rey asked, praying that the note of hope in her voice wasn’t as obvious as she thought. “Open sounds…good.”

“Yeah.” His crinkle-eyed smile was back, and it made her own smile easier, and her heart flutter. “Yeah, I just don’t want us to blur any more lines, or for you to get hurt. We should probably revisit expectations, make sure nothing there could be a trigger for you.” And just as quickly as it came, the hope in her heart was vanquished, and she wilted back into herself. _He’s being considerate,_ she chided herself. _He’s trying to respect your boundaries._ “I’ll talk to Jess about plying you with alcohol.”

Rey laughed weakly and looked out the window, so he couldn’t see her face as she reflected on everything Jess had told her.

“Come on,” Poe tapped her on the shoulder. “Didn’t we just say we’d be more open? Tell me what’s bothering you, so I can help.”

She huffed a massive sigh and crossed her arms over her chest, scowling down at her lap. She was suddenly irate for reasons she didn’t want to examine. “Jess was very…forthcoming…about your relationship.”

“Jess and I were over almost five years ago,” Poe pointed out. He tugged at her hand, and Rey slipped her fingers through his without a second though, already being brought in by pretty eyes in a pretty face. “Whatever happened between her and me shouldn’t affect us.”

Rey squirmed for a moment but then came right out with it. “She talked about how much sex you two had.” She glares down at her hand, clenched into a fist on her lap, and pulls her hand away from Poe to cross her arms over her chest again. “Non-stop, apparently. Inventive. Creative.”

Poe was silent for a long moment, and then – he _giggled._

“What?” Rey snapped, her head whipping around so she could glare at him. Poe had his elbow up on the headboard, and he was stretched out, his head on his hand while he tried to smother another giggle. “What’s so funny?” She scoffed when the laughter didn’t leave his face, and swung her legs out, intending to climb out of bed and lock herself in the other room.

“I’m sorry,” Poe reached out imploringly, a lot less amused. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have – not after I basically demanded you open up to me, Jesus, I’m an ass, sorry.” Rey quirked an eyebrow at him and tentatively tucked her legs back under the blanket. “It’s just – are you jealous?”

“No.” Rey whispered her answer, tears prickling at her eyes again. “I’m not jealous.”

“So what is it?” He sounded genuinely concerned.

“She thought – well, she just made it sound like you and her were always doing … it… and…” Rey stopped talking and scooted down so she was lying on her side, her head on the pillow. Her shins knocked against Poe’s feet, but she made no move to rectify that. “It’s just…odd. That we haven’t…even talked about doing that.”

“I don’t expect that from you.” His answer was immediate, final, and Rey winced, pulling the covers up to almost her chin.

“Okay.” She sounded very small; she felt very small.

Poe slid down to mirror her body language, and wrapped an arm around her waist slowly. “Rey?”

“It’s just.” She buried her face in her pillow and talked very fast, as though it would make it less painful. Like ripping off a bandaid. “I really want to have sex with you, but I get that you don’t think of me that way, but yeah maybe I felt weird hearing about how much you enjoyed sex with someone that wasn’t me, and now I think there’s something wrong with me.”

He inhaled sharply and scooted in closer to her. “Rey.” She buried her face farther into the covers, wondering if she could just fall asleep now, and entirely avoid this conversation. “Rey, would you look at me? There isn’t anything wrong with you.” She didn’t think she was imagining the emphasis on _you._ “Come on, sweetheart, listen to me. I – why would you think I don’t want you?”

That got her to look at him. Rey peeked out with one eye to glare at him. “Maybe because you’ve never said it, or once acted like you thought of me sexually?”

“That isn’t fair.” Poe rolled his eyes slightly, and Rey was almost amused at the immature expression on someone she thought of as so suave. “I’m really not that good at hiding it.”

“Hiding what?” She moved so she was fully facing him again, and Poe’s arm remained firmly in place.

“I always want you.” Poe’s eyes betrayed the truth of that statement. “Always, Rey. Fuck, I want you more than I think I’ve ever wanted anyone.”

“So why haven’t we had sex?” She asked, not as irritated anymore (her body more than a little flattered and a lot interested in his confession).

“Because I didn’t want to push you,” he said automatically. “I didn’t want to take advantage, and I know the money makes things weird, and…”

“So why give me money at all?” Rey screwed her face up as she thought it through. She entirely missed Poe’s expression as a result, a tortured look that quickly morphed into something far more suppressed by the time she lifted her eyes again. “Why not just date someone so you can have sex with them?”

“It’s not really like that,” Poe said carefully. “I…I like the control this relationship gives me. I like it when I can buy you something or give you something, and I like making you happy. Sex is secondary to that.”

“But it would be primary in a different dynamic,” Rey pointed out. Poe shrugged noncommittally, but she pushed forward. “I guess what I’m trying to say is: I more than want to have sex with you, and I’m … I’m not experienced, I’m only twenty two, after all, but…I’m not this fragile little thing you need to worry about.” Her voice gained confidence as she went on, to the point where she was even making eye contact with Poe, who looked mildly surprised but not unhappy. “I trust you. And I think you’re stupidly hot. And I’d like to…I don’t know, explore that part of myself with you? I have _kinks,_ Poe.”

“Kinks?” He asked teasingly, his lust only betrayed by the size of his pupils. “What kind of kinks does Rey Smith have?”

“I want you to tie me up,” she said bluntly. It was the truth. “I’ve always been interested in bondage, and I want you to – I’d like for you to take charge.”

“Fuck.” Poe was the one with his face buried in the pillow, now. “You’re just going to say shit like that to me?” Rey laughed and shoved his shoulder lightly. “Fine. Fine, so – we should … I guess we should add a passage to the contract, delineate what’s okay, and what’s not, and –”

“Or we could just…talk,” Rey suggested. “I’m not – it would be separate from the … sugar daddy stuff, right?”

“Right.” Poe nodded, biting his lip. “ Right – I mean – I definitely don’t want to be called daddy, but it could get confusing if you want me to be your Dom—”

“I want you to be dominant,” Rey corrected gently. Their hands found each other across the small space between them, and their fingers entwined. “I don’t need a full time Dom. I just want…you. And if it gets confusing, we can just talk about it? It’s not like you expect sex from me because of the money,  you’ve clearly established that…I just…if you want it too, why aren’t we doing it?”

Poe’s gaze felt heavier than Atlas’s burden on her shoulders, and Rey fought against the urge to look away. “Okay,” he said after a length pause. “Okay. We can try. But, can I ask for one thing?”

“Anything,” Rey said quickly. “Anything you need.” The usual trick had its usual results: Poe’s eyes darkened, and he took a breath before speaking.

“We go slow. Start small. Figure out what you like…and…we don’t have sex. Not all the way.”

“All the way?” Rey teased to hide the flare of disappointment. “So you’re saying third base is okay, but no home run?”

“Exactly.” Poe didn’t crack a smile, and Rey floundered in its absence. “We can discuss things like oral and various other acts, but we draw the line at sex.”

“Can I ask why?” Rey rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, and he drew their hands up to his mouth so he could kiss hers.

“Because.” His smile was somber. “I don’t think I could get over it if I had that with someone like you and then lost it.”

“What?”

He stood from the bed and walked to the closet without explaining himself, leaving Rey half-horny and full-confused behind him.

**

In the safety of the walk-in closet, Poe let a breath out and dragged his hands through his hair. He kneeled down for a second and counted backwards from twenty by twos, and then a hundred by fives. He touched the silk tie hanging out of his travel bag, and then the door knob, and then the carpet, trying to ground himself.

Rey Smith was trying to kill him, obviously. And with the addition of Jess in their little world (Fine, so any world Poe Dameron of 2018 occupied couldn’t exactly be small, and he couldn’t hide Rey from it forever, not when she promised to so easily worm her way into his heart and his life), he could find fewer and fewer excuses for why he and Rey _weren’t_ having sex.

In all honesty, intimacy with someone like her terrified him. With the girls he used to have this relationship with, he knew what they were getting into, and so did they. Things were simple and borderline professional, all kisses perfunctory and performative, all sex vigorous and a method of scratching an itch.

He’d lose himself, what was left of himself, in Rey. But he wanted her – fuck, he hadn’t been lying, he’d never wanted anyone this much. Not even before. Before his life fell to shit and he lost almost everything and had to claw his way back up and –

Rey was waiting for him in the bed he’d abandoned, he remembered, dragging his hands through his hands through his hair. Probably overanalyzing the conversation they just had (because fuck, he was too), maybe doubting if she wanted him (he couldn’t blame her), maybe wondering if he wanted her (and how he had fucked up so badly that she could think for a single second that his blood didn’t sing for her, that every molecule of his body didn't out for her). He needed to get out there, now.

Poe stood quickly, and staggered forward. He rested his head on the door that separated him from the suite, and from the girl he didn’t really think he could deny his love for anymore.

Just one minute. He’d walk back out in just one more minute.

**

***

The rest of the day was a pleasant blur after the awkward ten minutes Poe spent literally locking himself out from her. He was his typical charismatic and enigmatic self for their remaining time – even during the disastrous two hours they spent trying to teach Rey how to ski, before she entirely quit and went inside to drink a bucket of hot chocolate – and even kissed Rey on the cheek a few times.

When they were out in public, of course, and she couldn’t drag him over and demand to know if he was actually going to fuck her or not.

He did, however, succeed in tiring her out to the point that she was too tired to do anything besides walk to the waiting car, drive to the airfield, and settle in to her seat on the private jet before passing out and sleeping the entire flight back. She woke up to a blanket pulled up around her shoulders, and Poe sitting across from her, the newspaper folded up on the seat next to him, his shirt unbuttoned to below his collarbone, sleeves rolled up, and the late afternoon sun catching on his hair.

He must have felt her staring at him; when he looked up, she smiled sleepily and nuzzled back into her pillow. “You’re handsome,” she whispered. “Really handsome. Ridiculously handsome.”

Poe laughed incredulously, and he opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly self-deprecating, but the roar of the engine and the warm light filling the cabin lulled her right back to sleep.

When they pulled up in front of Rose and Finn’s apartment, Poe got out as usual to open her door; they stood awkwardly for a moment, and Rey watched as Poe’s hands clenched into fists over and over again as his throat worked over something he was clearly trying to say.

So, she spoke first. “I had a lovely weekend,” she said. “Thank you for bringing me, and I am sorry that I spent about ten hours of our time together drunk out of my mind.”

Poe smiled at her sweetly. “Stop apologizing,” he urged her. “It was still one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time. You’re not exactly hard to be around, Rey Smith.” She nodded shyly.

“I’ll see you later?” She asked hopefully, their conversation from that morning still hovering over her, cloaking her in its potential and promise.

“Later,” Poe agreed. “Tomorrow?” She nodded again, hating how eager it must look, and Poe stepped away from her, rubbing his neck. It was then that she realized how closely they had been standing together. Rey clutched the strap of her bag and walked up the first step towards the lobby, but Poe caught her hand and tugged her back, spinning her towards him.

He leaned up and kissed her cheek once, a lingering brush of his lips and stubble over her skin. He pulled back, more shy than he had been all day, and Rey threw caution to the wind entirely.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, praying this was enough time for him to pull away if he wanted to, and she leaned in, her eyes going from his lips to his eyes and back again. He didn’t move a muscle except to place his hands on her hips, a promising sign.

Their lips pressed together, and Rey couldn’t honestly tell if she had leaned in the final inch, or if he had surged up into it, but once they were kissing, she didn’t see how they could stop. His mouth slipped over hers with expert finesse, his breath hot and unfamiliar in the most pleasant way. Poe gripped her waist tightly and took a step back, taking her off the step and back down to the ground, and as a result, her body crushed against his, and his hand came up to her jaw, tilting her head exactly how he wanted it. Poe kissed her deeply, his tongue eventually slipping out, running along her bottom lip, causing her to shiver, and the hand on her jaw migrated to her shirt, gripping the fabric tightly as he tried to get closer to her.

Distantly, Rey was aware that she was full-on making out with a millionaire (billionaire?) on the front step of an apartment building, glaringly in the open, incredibly public, but she also couldn’t give a shit. Not when Poe kissed her like he wanted to possess her, like he wanted to sweep her off her feet like some cheesy movie from old Hollywood, drag her back to the car, and make violent love to her on the backseat of his chauffeured car (She wouldn’t complain, she really really really wouldn’t).

Eventually they broke apart, and they both panted trying to catch their breath. Poe kissed her one more time, sweetly, on the lips, and muttered a curse, low under his breath.

“What?” Rey asked, her voice hoarse and low.

“It’s just,” Poe shook his head and looked at her, resting his forehead against hers after a beat. “I held off on doing that for so long – and now I never want to stop.”

“Then don’t,” Rey urged, tugging him closer by the lapels of his jacket. “Don’t stop.”

“You have work tomorrow, and so do I,” Poe argued gently. “Also, we have a lot more we need to talk about before we start…that.”

“Fine,” Rey grumbled, and she knew she wasn’t keeping the pout off her face. She earned another kiss for her pout, and soon, Poe was waving goodbye to her from the backseat of his car, before his driver pulled away from the curb and out of sight.

Rey sighed like the heroine of a tragic romance, watching the spot where the car had turned the corner. She hefted her bag a little higher and walked up the steps and into the lobby.

Where Finn Trooper was currently standing, looking the very definition of thunderstruck.

“What the _fuck_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~when will the smut begin?~ (yes that is sung to the tune of that tangled song)


	8. Private Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their discussion on what they want, Rey instigates the next step in her and Poe's physical relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE RATING HAS BEEN UPPED TO E.
> 
> It's going to be some significant Kink from here on out.
> 
> This chapter contains - lingerie, dirty talk, bossy Poe, and vaginal fingering, among other things.

Rey walked further into the lobby, her overnight bag held like a shield in front of her. The discomfort must have been obvious enough in her body language and her expression to cause Finn to readjust his stance – he relaxed visibly and while he didn’t smile, his face did lose some of its intensity. “Peanut?” He asked weakly. “Can, uh, can you tell me what it is I just saw?”

She considered it for a long moment, and then landed on telling as much of the truth as she could, and as much of the truth as she was comfortable with. “I just got back from my trip, and that was me saying goodnight.”

“To…?” Finn held his hand up, gesturing out the window of the lobby while he waited for her to fill in the blank.

Rey sighed and looked at the concierge, who was watching their proceedings with an interest that could certainly just be chalked up to his job description. “Can we talk about it somewhere more private?” She asked. Finn nodded, and he held his hand out for her bag. Rey handed it over gratefully, still exhausted from the weekend, and followed him to the elevator. The second the doors closed, she sensed her reprieve was over.

Finn stared at her, with less patience than she’d hoped for, and Rey stared at the shiny chrome doors while she spoke. “It hasn’t been going on for very long. But, Poe—”

“So it _was_ Poe Dameron?” Finn interrupted. Rey gave him a look before staring at the doors again, and he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, sorry – uh, keep going.”

“It was.” Rey cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. “We met through Paige.” That was the truth. “It’s been about a month,” also the truth, “and he’s very sweet. And before you say anything, I had _no idea_ who he was until a week or so ago.”

“You’ve been dating one of the wealthiest men in the country, and you had no idea?” Finn slapped a hand to his face. “Geez, Rey, I only talk about Resistance Tech every ten seconds – the _news_ only talks about it every _three_ seconds.”

“I know.” Rey laughed genuinely. “He was delighted that I had no idea. And, in my defense, I had never actually seen a picture of their CEO, or bothered to look up the name. And school was crazy, you know that, I barely had time to brush my teeth, let alone watch the news.”

“But how?” Finn was not letting this go. “How did you have no idea who he was? And isn’t it – isn’t it really weird? He has more money than God.”

“It is weird. It’s…hard for me to feel like I fit in his world, like I could ever belong there.” And that was a very truth-y truth.

The doors hissed open for Finn’s floor, and he walked forward, frowning. Rey kept up with him as they walked down the carpeted hallway towards his apartment that he shared with Rose. “Peanut…you deserve everything, you know that. And, if you like the guy, who gives a fuck if you belong in that world, or whatever. His world is also your world – and he’s damn lucky to inhabit the same world as you.”

“Thank you.” Rey gave him a watery smile and shook her head. “It’s been so strange to not talk to you about this, you know.”

“I bet.” Finn stopped walking a few feet short of his door, and she did too. “You can tell me anything, Rey-Rey. You know that.” He held his arms out, and she stepped in for a much-needed best friend hug. “You… you are allowed to talk to me about this, right? He didn’t do anything weird, like, forbid you from talking about it?”

“Why would you say that?” Rey asked evasively. It didn’t go unnoticed, judging by the way Finn’s eyes narrowed when he pulled back from the hug.

“Because we haven’t talked about it.” Finn studied her face carefully. “And we do talk about everything. I had to hear about Ben Solo’s dick for God’s—”

“Buh buh buh—” Rey raised her hand warningly, and Finn stopped talking thankfully. “He didn’t…forbid me. But he did ask for us to keep a low profile, and … it is so new, and …” She flailed, trying to think of a reason besides _I had to sign an NDA because he’s kind of bankrolling my life and ending my student loans._ Finn’s face didn’t grow any less suspicious. She sighed heavily and decided to go for a full truth, one she hadn’t told anyone yet. “I really, really like him, Finn. And I’m so terrified of messing things up. I always find a way—”

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about.” Finn pushed her shoulder playfully, and Rey shoved him back, laughing quietly. “You aren’t going to mess things up, Peanut. Your life _was_ messed up, by people who were definitely not you. You’re an incredible, wonderful, lovely person, and Poe Dameron’s lucky to have you. I don’t care how many Fortune 100 companies he runs; he’s crazy if he doesn’t like you just as much as you like him.”

“It’s not that simple,” Rey whispered. When Finn made a curious noise, she shook her head. “I think I’m in love with him.”

Finn looked delighted (ever a sucker for a romance, and she could only imagine what a Cinderella story this must sound like), and Rey forced herself to smile back at him before he pulled her into another tight hug, this time saying, “My girl’s growing up!”

She tried very hard not to think about how her revelation felt so very much like a promise of heartbreak.

***

After Finn had dragged her inside and announced giddily to the apartment that he was going to give Rey away at the wedding of the century (Rey had shaken her head viciously at Paige from behind Finn’s back, fighting the melancholy in her heart down as well she could), she was able to shower and change into comfier clothing.

She borrowed Rose’s computer under the pretense of checking her email, but she really sat for a long minute while on the page for her Wish List. Rey took a deep breath, willed herself to be brave – and added an item that she prayed would pique Poe’s interest. 

Now all she had to do was wait. And she was good at waiting.

***

Rey found herself at Poe’s penthouse on Wednesday night, after dinner. Poe had offered to call the car if she wanted – and she swore she wasn’t imagining the hesitant way he phrased it, or the joyful smile that crossed his face when she asked shyly if she could come back to his place.

As they rode up in the elevator, Rey tucked into Poe’s side (and he’d been freer than ever with his touches that evening, something that thrilled her to the core), his phone buzzed. He sighed and took it out. “Sorry,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “Gotta take this.”

 _My apologies, Poe,_ Best Buddy’s calm voice chimed in. _I blocked the call during your dinner, but they were insistent that they had to speak with you, and kept calling._

“You’re fine, buddy,” Poe assured his AI. Rey grinned up at the ceiling, where she assumed its cameras were, and stepped away slightly so Poe could speak in low tones on the phone, something about revenue and international markets. He got off the phone and swore silently. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he groaned, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “I need to do something when we get in.”

“That’s alright,” Rey smiled at him shyly. “We can watch the movie after?”

“Yeah.” Poe’s smile was guileless, something she tried not to be disappointed about. He pulled her close by the hips (something she was very excited about), and squeezed them gently before kissing her on the nose. “Anything you want.”

She giggled and kissed him sweetly on the lips. He tasted miraculous, like bourbon and something much deeper, something she hadn’t quite put her finger on, but was distinctively him. The kiss deepened naturally, and Poe’s fingers tightened on her hips, drawing her in close. Rey pressed herself against the solid wall of his chest eagerly, beyond exhilarated that they were allowed to do this now, and her fingers carded through his hair, pulling it out of his careful style.

Just as he had slotted a thigh between her legs, causing her to squeak and moan somehow simultaneously, Best Buddy chimed in once again.

_Shall I hold the elevator all night, Poe, or would you like to continue your activities inside the apartment?_

“Jesus.” Poe pulled away, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark. Rey took a deep breath and looked at the doors – sure enough, they were wide open, and clearly had been for some time. “BB, don’t take this the wrong way, but, please enter sleep mode.”

_As you wish, Poe._

“Brat.” Poe muttered, pulling Rey in by the hand. “It’ll only be a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” She settled down on a kitchen stool while Poe pulled out his work laptop. He got to work immediately, and Rey busied herself by just openly ogling him as he rolled his sleeves up, exposing his muscular forearms, and started typing. He looked slightly debauched from their make-out session in the elevator, his hair mussed and the top button of his shirt undone. Rey bit her lip and rested her chin in her hand – and didn’t feel even slightly guilty when he looked up and caught her staring.

“See something you like?” He teased. She nodded slowly, not breaking the eye contact (and yeah, so maybe Rose had coached her in some seduction techniques, and maybe she had read an inordinate amount of online chat forums and reddits in an attempt to prepare for this). Poe turned pink, an oddity considering they’d been interrupted mid-kiss, and not mid-anything rated R, and got back to work.

“Fuck,” Poe muttered. “Okay, that’s done, but – but, oh God, you can say no, is it okay if I just do a few more things?” Rey nodded again, leaning back on the stool, and Poe gazed at her for a long moment while she draped her arm over her chair back. She was wearing a dress he’d picked out for her, a short plum dress that highlighted the length of her legs and the small amount of cleavage she was able to achieve. He cleared his throat before he looked away, and she smirked to herself.

He grumbled under his breath a few times, dragging his hand through his hair, and Rey frowned to see him so wound up. She patted her bag thoughtfully as a stroke of inspiration came to her. She’d been planning on doing this later, maybe mid-movie that she was planning on decidedly not watching, but she could speed up the timetable, right? It wouldn’t be _unwanted,_ right?

“May I use the restroom?” Rey asked timidly before she could lose her nerve.

Poe paused in his typing and smiled at her. “You don’t have to ask, sweetheart. Treat this apartment like your own.” He gestured down one of the halls while he spoke, ostensibly in the direction of the bathroom. She nodded shyly, and he went back to typing, his neck oddly red near his collar. He was definitely stressed, she mused. Poor thing.

She was fairly certain she had a good way to distract him.

Rey wandered to the bathroom; her breath caught when she opened the door. The bathroom was the size of her studio, easily, with stone floors and a bathtub larger than her bed. She took a second to admire it – embedded in what mimicked a rocky outcrop, jets and seats and a terrific assortment of products on a small shelf to the side – and then noted the shower in the corner. It didn’t even have a separate space. There was a drain in the floor under a futuristic square showerhead, mounted from the ceiling. Rey shivered, realizing there was definitely room for two under the showerhead.

Which reminded her of her mission: Rey whipped the plum dress up and over her head and hung it carefully near the door, on one of the hangers provided. Then, she smoothed out her hair in the mirror, debating furiously back and forth over how to fix it – she got halfway through a sloppy French braid before huffing and flipping her hair, mussing it up on purpose, and then leaving it draped suggestively over her shoulders.

“What am I doing?” she whispered to her reflection. Her cheeks were bright pink, the flush extended to the top of what she’d been wearing under her dress – the lingerie she’d asked him for on her wish list. He hadn’t given her that box personally, but had it sent to Rose’s place. It was soft and green – her favorite color, a fact she’d mentioned all of one time – more a body suit than the scandalous pieces with French tags she’d been expecting from Mr. Dameron. It looked, well, nice on her figure and suited her well – she could move in it, and it was flirty and cute, and it was absolutely something she’d pick out for herself. He had very good taste, and she wanted him to see his taste in action.

As she ran her hands down her figure one last time while staring in the mirror, she noticed that the bottom of the body suit snapped open – which would make going to the bathroom a lot easier. She giggled hysterically – how was _that_ her first thought? Those snaps were probably, definitely, certainly not there for _bathroom_ access. God. Oh God, she was so fucked. This was a bad idea, this was –

Rey splashed cold water on her face and then strode to the door. It didn’t matter how nervous she was, she had a mission.

She wanted to see Poe’s face when he saw her wearing this.

And then she wanted to see his face when she took it off. _Or maybe, he’ll take it off._

Poe was still working when she rounded the corner, but he’d moved with his laptop to a leather armchair near the large window that substituted a wall in his living room. The city spread out behind him was a breathtaking view, the twinkling evidence of the lives of millions of people who had no idea that Rey Smith was trying to seduce a much older, much more good-looking millionaire.

Insecurity overshadowed her for another moment, and she almost turned around, but then she shook out her shoulders, made sure her hair was falling correctly over her shoulders – a moment of panic of _where should I put my hands? Jesus, this is riding up my ass, should I fix that? Or maybe that’s the point?_ – and then she cleared her throat.

In the millisecond it took him to look up from his laptop, her hands moved of their own volition to cover her body, but she forced them back at her sides and tossed her hair out almost proudly.

Poe’s laptop slid to the side while the man in question leaned forward, something dark and unreadable in his gaze.

“Rey?” He said into the silence.

She spoke before he said anything to damage her nerve, stepping forward lightly, almost traipsing across the room, her steps soundless on the plush rug in the middle of the room. “You seemed stressed,” she said in what she prayed was a coquettish tone. “I thought I might … distract you?”

“Consider me distracted.” Poe was looking at her in a way he never had before – at least, not outright. She’d caught glimpses of it, more than glimpses sometimes, a heady stare that would seem near-predatory if not for the way she very much hoped for him to actually act on it.

Rey came to a stop in front of him and tossed her hair out of her face again – there was a reason she almost always wore it up – and smiled at him. Poe was sitting with his knees apart, and the lights of the city caught on the angles of his face, casting his stubble and the line of his jaw into sharper relief. Anxiety lit up her gut once more, and Rey said, hesitantly, “Unless you don’t want to be distracted right now?” He had been so specific about not wanting to fuck her, after all, and it was hard to remember the reason why, how he had phrased it so confusingly but obviously in an attempt to flatter her, as though she needed to be flattered –

Poe held a hand out to her, and she took it eagerly, and allowed him to pull her forward as he settled back more in the chair. “You’re beautiful,” he told her as though stating a fact, like the sky was blue, the grass was green, Rey Smith was beautiful. “So fucking beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Rey said as she came to rest, her knees on either side of his left thigh. “…Sir.”

He seemed to visibly shudder, and he pressed a hand into the small of her back, bringing her forward even more to her kneeling position. Rey gasped when his leg aligned perfectly with her clit, and she squirmed, instinctively chasing more friction.

“Look at you,” Poe rumbled, his fingers fidgeting with the lace above her ass. “Fucking hell – is this real? Is this happening?”

He looked worried for a second, and Rey let herself reaching out and touch his chest reassuringly. “It’s real,” she whispered, leaning in, whimpering softly as the movement pressed her clit further into the rough material of his pants. “I’m here.” She kissed him again, a hand on the rough growth of beard on his jaw, and the hand on her back tightened, pulling her in closer as his tongue ran along the seam of her lips. Rey let him in without second thought, moaning softly as he tasted the inside of her mouth, his right hand grabbing at her thigh before sliding up the entire length of her body, her neck, and stopping at her hairline.

A tug on her hair, not hard enough to be painful, but enough to cause her to compulsively tighten her thighs around his leg, forced her to pull her head back and to the side, and Poe’s lips attacked her neck. “Sweetheart,” he purred as he nipped at the delicate skin. “Can I touch you?” Rey nodded eagerly, and he guided her back up so her back was straight and she was still fully astride his leg.

One hand stayed at the small of her back, and he began to gently guide her back and forth. She chased the feeling with little provocation, her body responding to him on sheer instinct. Poe stared at her, his eyes dark almost beyond recognition, but he stared at her as though she were something holy, something valuable, and she had to force herself to return the gaze and not look away. It was intense, so intense, but she trusted him. She’d trust him with anything, especially this, when she’d wanted this for so very long –

His other hand came up to cup her jaw for a moment, and then he let it slide down to the top of her lingerie. It paused at the swell of lace that covered her breast, and Rey nodded, and whispered, “Yes,” before his fingers slipped underneath the material and gently pulled it free. He toyed with her nipple, and Rey hissed through her teeth, grinding down harder on Poe’s thigh, something she’d be embarrassed about later, judging by how wet she was getting. “So perfect,” Poe groaned. It looked as though he were physically restraining himself, and Rey wanted to beg him not to, to just let go, lose control, do whatever he wanted. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, sir,” Rey teased, and her own hand tripped down his chest, her destination clear, obvious, and straining against the dark material of his pants. Poe caught her hand before it could succeed though, and he grabbed her other hand in his much larger one, holding her wrists together and in front of her body. She looked thoroughly defiled now, she was sure of it, one breast hanging out of its cup, her hips still writhing on his leg. And, speaking of:

“You’re going to cum on my thigh,” Poe said decisively, open lust burning in his eyes. “You’re going to ride my leg until you cum for me, and you’re going to look at me the whole time.” Rey gasped and ground down harder, her wrists burning pleasantly where Poe held them tightly. The hand above her ass tightened. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir,” Rey said quickly. The burning in her lower stomach was pleasant, and her thighs were shaking, and she’d certainly never been this turned on in her life. “Yes – yes sir.”

“Good.” Poe smirked at her. “Come for me, then,” and Rey chased the feeling growing in her stomach, but at the same time, tears threatened to form in her eyes. She had to – he needed to know –

“I want to,” she panted, still moving desperately. “—Sir, but…I’ve never…”

“Never what?” Poe laughed darkly. “Never gotten there like this?” She shook her head and looked out the window for a second, trying to compose herself, but when she got a glimpse of her reflection, how she was utterly at his mercy, the way Poe stared at her as she moved over him – it did nothing to calm her down.

So, she was still panting when she admitted, “I’ve never cum before,” and his leg jolted in surprise, something that sent a stab of lust through her core. Rey yelped, and clarified, “Never – never with someone else, and not that often on my own—”

“Oh, fuck—” Poe released her wrists immediately, his hand soft on her waist as he steadied her. He looked absolutely mortified.

“I’m not a virgin,” Rey said quickly. “It’s just – I guess it always just took a long time, and it didn’t seem worth it, and—” Poe’s expression shifted again, something dark and possessive growing in his eyes (right, shouldn’t talk about other sexual experiences during the current and Best Sexual Experience of her life). “And, it’s okay! Really, I can, um, go down on you, if you want?”

She squeaked the last part, completely meaning her offer. She’d resorted to it in the past, in a desperate bid to hide her frustration over her own inability to cum. But Poe looked thunderous.

“No.” He growled. “I don’t care – I don’t _fucking_ care if it takes all night, sweetheart, you’ll cum with me.” Rey stared at him in shock, the expression on his face almost feral. It abated after a moment, and he said, more calmly, “But only if you want me to try.”

“I’m already – closer than I’ve been…before,” Rey said shyly. “You’re uh – you’re really good at – this?” _You sound like a naïve idiot,_ she scolded herself.

Poe’s hands worked almost involuntarily on her sides for another second before some decision slid into place behind his eyes. “Alright,” he said, nodding once before looking up at her, his eyes still molten hot. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to try something, and if you don’t like anything, we’ll stop right away. Just tell me to stop, and I will.” Rey nodded eagerly, glad that this experience wasn’t over after her admission. “I’m going to open you up, sweetheart. I’m going to pull you onto my lap, and then I’m going to fuck you with my fingers, until you cum. Is that okay?”

“More than,” Rey breathed, and before she could blink, Poe was guiding her over and onto his lap, turning her so she faced outwards, out towards the fireplace and the massive window that overlooked Coruscant. His hands ran over her torso, stopping at her breasts for a few seconds as he kneaded the sensitive flesh – Rey tossed her head back onto his shoulder, and he slipped a hand down to her stomach, pushing her back until her spine rested on his chest, her legs splayed open, and hooked over his thighs.

“Perfect,” Poe praised her, and Rey keened as his hands continued their skilled circuit. “So perfect for me, you have no idea.” A hand strayed lower, and he murmured, low and filthy in her ear, “Can I touch you now? Can I see how wet your cunt is for me?”

Rey nodded desperately, her hips twisting, seeking friction that simply wasn’t there, the outline of his cock too far away, tangible behind her right buttock. A few deft snaps was all it took for her achingly wet sex to be exposed to the cool air of the room, and a single finger ran the length of it a moment later.

She arched backwards, the feeling toomuch and notenough, and she must have said it aloud for Poe chuckled quietly. “So wet,” he murmured. “And sensitive. This might not take long after all, sweetheart.” He kissed her neck under her ear, and left his lips there, one arm tight over her stomach, holding her in place, while his other dipped down and spread her slick over her clit, up and over, a tight circle that he made over and over again, passing over her entrance, up to her clit, and back down. When it became entirely too obvious that she was trying to bear down on nothing, Poe bit at the delicate skin of her earlobe. “You feel like heaven, sweetheart – can I fuck you with my fingers now?”

“Yes,” Rey turned her head and kissed him sloppily, the angle almost impossible to maintain. “Yes, please, please—” He slipped a finger in, and Rey found herself clenching around it, especially after his thumb found her clit and stirred patiently circles over it while his middle finger dipped in and out of her body, going deeper every time. “Oh f-f-fuck, just – a little—”

“Another finger, maybe?” Poe said, and Rey tried to kiss him again. He shifted a bit to allow her to do so, their lips meeting in a carnal, untamed fashion, the slick slide of their mouths almost as embarrassing and overwhelming as the undeniable sound of his finger entering her body.

“Yes sir,” Rey panted. The next finger slipped in, and she moaned loudly as a tightening spiral formed in her lower gut. Each push of his fingers was thrilling, lighting her nerves and making her almost babble. She missed Poe’s immediate reaction to her calling him _sir,_ but she didn’t miss the way his fingers sped up, the way his thumb rubbed tighter circles on her clit, the way he licked and nuzzled her neck as she threw her head back once more, her eyes clenching shut as her hips bucked upwards, chasing the feeling as though she were running up a very steep cliff with a certain promise of falling.

“Oh!” Rey nearly screamed as something inside of herself untangled and unraveled, her body shaking uncontrollably as pleasure seized her, her entire being focused down to the points of contact she shared with Poe Dameron. “Poe, Poe, _Poe_!” She chanted his name, her hand scrabbling at his wrist, and she was unsure if she was pulling him in or pushing him out as her legs thrashed in a way she couldn’t be embarrassed about, not when –

The next minute passed in a way that seemed as though it were happening to someone else. Poe guided her legs into a new position, pulling her into his lap, her feet dangling over his right leg, her knees drawn up and pressing into his chest.

“Should I be flattered?” Poe asked into the silence, as Rey continued to catch her breath, aftershocks running through her body every so often. She smiled and nuzzled into his throat, kissing the skin delicately.

“Yes,” she teased. “Yes – that was amazing.” She stopped short of thanking him – she didn’t know much of sexual etiquette, but she figured it was bad form to thank someone for an orgasm.

“You’re amazing,” Poe said, and another shiver passed through her at how genuine he sounded. “Are you cold, sweetheart?” Rey shook her head, and smiled when his arms tightened around her nevertheless.

“Can I return the favor?” Rey asked hopefully. His erection hadn’t gone down – she could feel it under her legs right now, and it had to be getting uncomfortable.

“No,” Poe kissed the side of her head even as she yawned. “No, just rest, sweetheart, don’t worry about me.”

“It wouldn’t be a bother,” Rey joked, her eyes growing heavy as his hand rubbed soothing circles onto her back. “Quite the opposite.”

“It’s alright,” Poe shushed her softly, and kissed her forehead this time. “Just sleep.”

“Mkay.” Rey dozed off fully, feeling warm and sated and blissfully happy in the arms of the man she was definitely, completely gone for.

**

Poe stared out over the city while Rey slumbered in his arms. Her small nose twitched in sleep, and her hands curled into his shirt, wrinkling it in a way that would have made him speed dial the dry cleaner a year ago – but now he prayed that the wrinkles would stay forever, a reminder that this beautiful woman had trusted him enough to share… _that_ with him.

He stroked his hand up and down her arm, wishing bitterly that he deserved to touch her, even like this. But he’d gone overboard, hadn’t he – he’d agreed to open up this aspect of their relationship, had agreed to try things with her. And what had he done? The first chance he’d gotten, he’d been bossy, dominant, and probably all too rough with the woman he had grown to care for a terrifying amount.

The sounds she had made: Poe shivered even now to recall them. He was never going to be able to forget them, or forget the way she’d tightened around his fingers, the way she’d trusted him so wholeheartedly, the bravery she must have summoned to walk out here like that tonight. If he had known she’d planned _this_ when she put that on her list, well.

He can’t say it would have changed anything really. He probably would have had to deal with an unfortunate erection all week, much like the one he was sporting even now. But the sight of her walking out here in the lingerie Poe had bought for her, that she’d _asked_ him for. Fuck. He was ruined, utterly, completely ruined, now.

Poe took another shuddering breath and pressed his nose into Rey’s hair, enjoying the quiet moment as it passed, this small piece of time where he could hold her and be close to her, and not have to worry about hurting her or ruining her life the way he was so fucking good at.

“I love you,” Poe whispered into the silence of his apartment. He just wish he deserved to say it when she could hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blushes* happy sinful sunday


	9. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives some more gifts; Poe has a conversation with Paige; Rey and Poe see a movie; Rey and Poe....... you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As my crappy week continues, here is some ~light smut~ and ~fluff~! and maybe ~semblance of plot~ for ya.
> 
> warning:
> 
> well, i told you it was going to be kinky. there's some more consensual sexy times in this chapter.

 “So, when are you going to tell Poe where you actually live?” Rose posed the question delicately while passing Rey a massive stack of boxes that had come for her in the mail.

“Uhm,” Rey fiddled with the fancy tags on the outside of the top box before answering. “…Never? Is never good?”

“Hang on,” Finn interrupted, popping into the kitchen. Rey slapped a hand over the visible label, praying that Finn hadn’t seen, or if he had, he didn’t have any idea what the brand was for. “You’ve been seeing this guy for a month and a half, and he hasn’t been to your apartment?”

“My apartment’s shitty,” Rey defended, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly. “And knowing him, he’d try to…get me to move, or something.”

“Good!” Finn said, walking over to the fridge and snagging a water bottle from the inside shelf. He took a large sip and then leaned against the now-closed door. “Maybe I should tell him where you live, he can like, buy you a house, and then I don’t have to worry about you getting shot.”

“I’m not going to get shot,” Rey protested. Finn made a _okay, I totally believe you_ face, and then jerked his head at the stack of boxes.

“Did he get you a gift?” Finn asked curiously. “Is it an anniversary, or something?”

“Nope,” Rey said evasively. “It’s just ‘cuz.”

“Man,” Finn shook his head and started to walk towards the living room. “I should have found myself a nice, older man, so I could get some presents of my own ‘ _just cuz’_ , and I’d just have have to look pretty—”

“That can still be arranged!” Rose hollered at her boyfriend’s retreating back. Finn spun on his heel to blow her a kiss before returning on his journey to their TV, where the Eagles were playing. “Are you ever going to tell him?” She asked Rey, more quietly.

Rey sighed heavily and shook her head, guilt singing loud in her stomach. “No, I signed that fucking NDA,” she reminded her friend. “And I don’t even know how he’d take it, if I did tell him. I don’t even know how I’d phrase it. _Hey Finn, you know how I’ve been on my own my whole life? Well, I decided to let a rich, older man buy me pretty things, and uh, yeah, it’s pretty sexual, but don’t worry, we’re not sleeping together because he has a thing about that—_ ” Rey shook her head bitterly. “Yeah, no, that’s going to be a pass for me.”

“I mean,” Rose shifted uncomfortably, and Rey back to staring at her stack of presents. “It sounds like he…has the gist of it already.”

“Assuming that the very wealthy man I’m dating buys me presents for fun, and knowing that a very wealthy man goes on dates with me in exchange for money while in the constraints of several legally binding documents, are two very different things,” Rey hissed, eyeing the doorway Finn had recently disappeared through.

“I know,” Rose said gently. She squeezed Rey’s arm, and they stood at the countertop for a second in silence. “Wanna run to my room and open these?” She asked, more excitedly.

Rey nodded, smiling down at her, and then they took off towards the bedroom, stifling their giggles as they struggled to hold all the boxes.

After they settled on Rose’s bed, the smaller woman grabbed a box and examined the label. “ _Agent_ _Provocateur_ ,” she read with a silly French accent. “Sounds…fancy.” She pulled the ribbons off the box and lifted the lid. “Holy _shit_ Rey, is it all like this?” She lifted a black, lacy bra from the tissue paper inside.

It looked highly delicate, wisps of lace in beautiful patterns – there was very little fabric, and even Rey, who had very little tit, wondered at it covering anything at all. Although, that was probably the point.

“I should never have asked him for more lingerie,” Rey asked, eyes wide as she eyed the massive pile that still awaited them. “But … he was so happy…”

Poe had looked _remarkably_ excited when she’d asked him for something _pretty, please, Mr. Dameron?_ at the end of their last date.

_“You want something pretty?” He repeated, his fingers toying with the hem of her very short dress._

_“Yes,” Rey nodded eagerly. “Yes, please. Something – something I can wear for you.” Poe’s mouth twitched, and his eyes darkened, and Rey flailed with how to phrase it. “Something only you’ll see.”_

_“Only I get to see you in it?” Poe lifted a lock of her hair off her neck and began to press small, fervent kisses into the side of her throat. Rey hummed and placed her hands on his elbows. “Only me?”_

_“Only you,” Rey whispered. You, you, you –_

“I bet he was happy.” Rose waggled her eyebrows, and Rey swatted her, giggling.

They giggled some more, and opened the next box to reveal a matching bottom, in a cheeky brief style. “Your ass is going to look killer in this!” Rose crowed. Rey blushed and waved her off, but Rose held the lingerie aloft as though in victory. “Seriously. I’m going to read it in the news – _Multimillionaire Felled by His Sexy Girlfriend_.”

“Sugar baby,” Rey corrected automatically, wincing. Rose shot her an apologetic look, and Rey smiled weakly at her. “Let’s call a spade a spade, he doesn’t think of me like that.”

“Do you want him to?” Rose’s question was gentle, but it still made Rey want to cry. She found the courage to nod once, and Rose’s hand found hers through the mountain of tissue paper they’d already pulled from the boxes.

**

***

Poe stepped out of the car and waved to Snap, who saluted smartly but jokingly before he closed the door. He turned and examined the building in front of it, adjusting his cufflinks and smoothing out the lines of his suit; Poe walked into the restaurant and nodded at the host. Then, he spotted the person he was here to meet and raised a hand in greeting as he walked over.

“Paige,” he said warmly. “Good to see you.” She hugged him, and Poe happily returned it, glad to see the oldest Tico sister, who’d called him out of the blue and asked to have lunch.

“Hey, Major,” Paige said. “How the hell are you?” They settled in their seats, and Poe shrugged cheerfully.

“I’m actually doing very well, thank you,” he answered, unbuttoning the jacket of his suit. “And yourself?”

Paige smiled tightly but was spared her answer when the waiter arrived to take their order. Poe provided his swiftly, not even bothering to look at the menu, and Paige was quiet after the waiter left.

“Something’s bothering you,” he said. “I’d know that even if we hadn’t been friends for years.”

“We have, haven’t we?” Paige asked, her fingers playing with the stem of her water glass. “You still think of us as friends? Even with all the,” she gestured vaguely around him, and he assumed she meant _shit tons of money and fame._

“Of course,” Poe felt almost aghast at the question. “You were there for me during a time so few people were, Paige. I wouldn’t forget that.” She nodded, looking ill at ease, and he smiled at her. “No one puts up with my shit quite like you do.”

“That is true,” Paige allowed, flashing him a quick smile. Poe’s heart accelerated slightly from the sheer anxiety of the situation. Part of him wanted to shout at her to just _spit it out already,_ the incoming panic almost deafening, but he tried to keep his cool.

He counted backwards from ten, slowly, sipping some more water and breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth as inconspicuously as possible. “Can you,” he coughed once and his left hand tightened into a fist on his leg. “Could you please tell me what’s bothering you, if it’s something I did? I just – I’d like to know.”

Paige nodded, and she looked him in the face; it appeared as though she were steeling herself. “What do you really want from Rey Smith?”

Poe blinked (what felt like) a hundred times. “I beg your pardon?”

“What do you want from her?” Paige said, slowly. Her eyes narrowed. “You are my friend, Poe, yes, but – I don’t know what you’re playing at with her.”

“You’re the one who set us up,” Poe pointed out, his heartbeat almost tangible in his ears. “You …. You know what I am to her.”

“Do I?” Paige’s expression was inscrutable, and they paused for a moment when the waiter appeared with their salads. Poe muttered a thanks to him, his face flushed and hands fidgeting – he did not want to talk about this, he wanted to hide under the table, leave the restaurant, jump out the glass-front of the room they were sitting in – “More importantly, does she understand?”

“She signed the contract,” Poe said, hackles raised. He’d had these doubts for himself, of course, but he didn’t want anyone else saying them aloud. It made his blood boil. “She’s consenting, and, and, safe from any legal repercussions, or unpleasantness, and—”

“She is not safe from all repercussions,” Paige interrupted. She stabbed some of her Caesar with her fork and popped it into her mouth, chewing viciously. “You can’t be that stupid, Poe. She has feelings for you.”

“That’s not abnormal in a situation like this,” Poe went for his ‘meeting-professional-business’ voice, but inside he quaked. _Feelings?_ He wanted to ask. _What feelings? Specifically: what did she say? Did she say anything? Are you guessing?_ “We have a personal relationship, plenty of give and take happening, and sometimes feelings can pop up. They go away pretty quickly though, once the monetary, objective aspect of the arrangement continues.”

“Do you want it to continue?” Paige should have been a journalist, honestly. Her questions cut right to the core of it. “The monetary aspect?”

“I want what’s best for Rey,” Poe said, his jaw clenching.

“Have you asked her what that is?” She took another bite of her salad, and Poe copied her, not hungry in the least, his stomach in knots. He didn’t answer. “I didn’t think so. So, you want to give her money, but you don’t want to just … be her boyfriend?”

“She doesn’t want me as her boyfriend,” Poe scoffed, his blood settling somewhat at the ludicrous suggestion. “Even if she _thinks_ she does. She doesn’t.”

“You are the biggest, most ridiculous, self-sacrificing idiot I have ever met,” Paige declared. Poe pursed his lips at her in disbelief, but his friend shook her head and continued, her low voice somewhat rising as she jabbed her fork at him by the end. “You can’t pretend to know what she thinks or what she wants. And we should probably stop talking about that without her here – but _you._ What do _you_ want?”

“I want Rey to be happy,” Poe felt like they were circling the issue. Hadn’t he already made this clear? Wasn’t Rey happy? She always seemed to be happy – but now doubt curdled in his stomach. “I…I want her life to be easier, and I want to be part of that solution, and I want whatever she can give me.”

“But what are you going to do if she wants more?” Paige looked calmer now, but also undeniably sad. But was the sadness for him? Or for Rey?

“I know that I’m the last thing on earth that would be good for Rey Smith,” Poe said darkly, setting his fork down. “My money can make her life better. But getting too tangled up with my…shit ...That won’t.”

“Look, Poe,” Paige’s eyes tightened momentarily and her lips twitched downward. “I know – I know that you still blame yourself for that day, but it wasn’t your fault.” Poe jerked back and turned his head, jaw tight while he stared at the back of the restaurant. “Seriously, I get that you hate to talk about it, but you can’t…you can’t keep punishing yourself for it, especially when it wasn’t your fault. No one thought it was, ever. And you’ve done so many remarkable things since then, and it kills me, it honestly kills me to see you continue to beat yourself up over it.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Poe muttered, his eyes suspiciously wet. “Not…not here.”

“Okay.” Paige spoke softly. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about it. But – one last thing—” He shot her a look, and she raised her hand as though she could appease him by that while she continued speaking. “You want to save everyone, Poe, and I understand why. But Rey doesn’t need saving. She needs help sometimes, maybe, but everybody does. I’d probably murder you twice for her, as much as I love you, but she’s an adult woman, and you need to be prepared for a situation where she wants more than…whatever your contract entails. And if you don’t want that? Stop jerking her around.”

Poe’s throat worked furiously over a possible answer to all of that, but their second course arrived, and Paige tucked in. He joined her after five or so seconds, and the next time she spoke, she spoke of his recent acquisition of a mid-size contracting company, and the conversation shifted towards much safer topics for the rest of the meal.

***

**

They were on a date.

A normal date.

Rey tried not to read too much into it, but when Poe arrived at Rose’s apartment to pick her up, she found him not in a three-piece suit, not with plans to whisk her off to a five-star restaurant halfway across the country in his private helicopter (which is what they had done the previous weekend), but standing in a nice button down shirt, a pair of chinos, and with tickets to a movie.

“We can see a different one,” he said almost anxiously when he held them up for inspection. “I just – it’s supposed to be good, and you said you didn’t care what we did tonight.”

“Can we get Twizzlers?” Rey asked, bouncing on her heels. “And no – no, this is _perfect_ , I haven’t been to a movie in the theater since I was twelve!”

“Really?” Poe gave her a small smile (and she couldn’t tell through his sunglasses, but she swore he looked oddly pleased), while he took her hand and they walked towards the metro stop nearby. The theater was only one stop away, and it was a pleasant evening. “What did you see?”

“Wall-E,” Rey sighed, her free hand over her heart. “I loved that stupid little robot, you have no idea. My foster parents took me as a surprise, and they bought me whatever kind of candy I wanted.” She smiled fondly: Dave and Marie had been so confused at the end, when she just sat in her chair, her knees drawn up to her chest, her thin arms wrapped around her legs, face up towards the blank screen, but they’d humored her and let her sit for as long as she wanted, basking in the post-movie-magic glow. “I think that’s the nicest memory I have of being a child.”

Poe released her hand and slipped his arm around her waist, tugging her in close to his body as they neared the subway entrance. His lips pressed into the side of her hair, and he whispered, “Thank you for telling me.” Rey paused and turned her head, giving him a proper kiss before they walked through the turnstiles and towards their destination.

***

After the movie, Rey was quiet on the drive back to Poe’s apartment. While they’d taken the metro there, Poe, apparently not a fan of the ‘STIs leaking through from the seat,’ called for a car on the way home. Snap had an exam, so a chauffeur for hire had shown up.

Once they were seated and on their way, he studied her profile – she could feel his eyes on her face, and she fidgeted in a way that felt miniscule to her, but he’d probably picked up on anyway, ever a man of details.

“What is it?” He asked, his voice breaking the silence in the car. “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” The partition was rolled up, per Poe’s request, and Rey knew no one was listening in, but she was embarrassed to say what she was thinking.

“Nothing.” Rey kept her eyes glued to the passing buildings, finding the brutalist architecture very interesting, for once.

Next to her, Poe unbuckled and slid closer, the heat rolling off his body undeniable, the sharp but comforting smell of his cologne overpowering her defenses, weakening her, making her want to turn and curl up in his lap, seek comfort in a language she was only just learning. “You can tell me,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Rey shivered and looked at him; the light from outside the car passed over his face, throwing his classic features in and out of focus in a distracting way.

She was screwed the second his pouty lip stuck out, and his brown eyes widened slightly, beseechingly. “Please tell me?”

Rey looked out the window again before she answered; she turned to face him, the lower half of her body shifting so her knees bumped up against his leg. She twisted at the waist to lean her shoulder into the car seat, and rested her head against the back of her seat to look up at him in what she hoped was both an alluring and plaintive way. He mimicked her body language and waited for her to speak.

“What that man did to that woman in the movie,” she began, feeling her cheeks flush. Poe smiled at her, smoothed more hair out of her face, before leaving his hand on her jaw, his thumb stroking over her chin.

“What about it, sweetheart?”

Rey diverted her eyes away from his face and looked at his lap instead. “It’s just – I’ve never – no one’s ever –“

“No one’s ever eaten you out?” Poe asked it bluntly, with a hint of indignation, and something much, much darker.

She knew what to do. Rey bit her lip and lifted her eyes to his face, looking at him under lowered lashes. “Nuh-uh- I mean – _no sir._ ”

The rough inhalation from him was undeniable. “No one’s ever spread you out and licked you open? No one’s ever fucked you with their tongue? Made you fall apart?”

Rey shook her head, the coltish innocence no longer very faked. “No sir. No one’s ever really – no one’s ever really fucked me at all, Mr. Dameron.” She leaned into the formal title, praying that it would allow her to regain a bit of an upper hand in this precarious situation.

“What?” He hissed. He was much closer to her now, any possible space eliminated between them in the backseat. “How – you said you weren’t a virgin –”

“I’m not, technically,” Rey admitted, face burning. “But – it hurt too much. I was nervous, and it hurt, so we stopped less than a minute in, before anything had – uhm. We didn’t try again. So, I’ve never been fucked.” [Ben had been so kind about it – had cried, even, at the idea of hurting her – but she’d never been able to fully relax with him, ever. She was still too close to the grief of her childhood, she supposed, unable to trust anyone because of that, even someone as good and sweet as Ben. They’d done other things, of course, but they’d returned to just being friends after Rey admitted she only saw him as such.]

Poe made a strangled noise at that, and he shifted away from a second, his eyes raised to the roof of his car. _He’s trying to control himself,_ Rey noted. _He probably feels strange to be turned on by my inexperience. Maybe he’s thinking of all the different things he can show me._

The less analytical part of her brain crowed, _we are **so** getting laid tonight! _

Poe returned his heady gaze to her face, and he reached out to grip both her hands. He lifted them to his mouth and brushed his mouth over her knuckles, and when he looked into her eyes, Rey shivered again.

“You want me to eat you out, Rey?” She nodded, breathless. “You want me to pin you down, suck on that pretty little clit of yours, fuck your perfect pussy with my tongue – you want that?”

He needed an answer. And she was sure he’d ask again the second she was naked, and probably more than a few times before and during. Rey knew what she wanted though. “Yes sir. I want exactly that.”

“Who am I to deny you anything?” That was said with significantly less lust – although his eyes remained dark – while his thumb rubbed over her bottom lip wonderingly. He didn’t look away from her to knock on the partition, loudly. It cracked open, and Poe said, “I will double your rate if you can get us there in less than ten minutes.” A hasty _you got it_ returned, but Poe was already re-focused on Rey.

“You’re going to cum so hard for me,” he whispered, ducking in to kiss her jaw. “I’m going to get you so wet, baby, you have no idea.”

Rey squeezed her thighs together and said, without art or tact, “I’m already wet for you, Mr. Dameron.”

“Fuck,” he snarled, his hand gripping her thigh tightly. “Oh fuck, you’re going to make me lose my mind before I even get you home, Rey.”

“That’s the plan,” she panted, rolling her hips towards him, towards the hand he left almost teasingly below the hem of her dress – her dress and its ‘fuck me’ length, according to an approving Rose – trying to get some friction. “Please – Mr. Dameron –“

“I’m going to finger you,” he said calmly, as if he were discussing stock options with a client. The partition was rolled up again, and his hand stroked up and down her thigh. “But you’re going to be a good girl, and you won’t cum until you’re in my bed. Got it?”

Rey nodded, furiously, and he frowned slightly, his hand stilling. Rey literally whined (she’d find time to be embarrassed later) and Poe laughed, gently. “I won’t do that without your permission Rey – do you want that?”

“I want it,” Rey almost sobbed. “Oh fuck, I want it so bad, Mr. Dameron.”

“Good girl.” With that, his hand slipped under her hem and trailed a heated path to the edge of her underwear. He ran his fingertips over the front and leaned in to nip her earlobe. “You weren’t lying, sweetheart. You’re soaked.” He slipped two fingers along the gusset, and then twisted them to slide in and make contact with her heated flesh.

Rey bit back a sob and clenched her fingers on the edge of her seat. He only teased her for a few seconds before he tentatively pushed a thick finger in; she yelped and grabbed his wrist, closing her eyes and resting her head on the seat. The angle couldn’t have been easy, and he did adjust the way he was sitting a few times, and the way he was stroking along the inside of her body, but Rey lost herself to the moment, her breath stuttering and rising with each touch.

Another finger soon joined the first, and when she dared to crack open her eye, she saw Poe watching her with open hunger on his face. It was intense enough that she clenched her eyes shut once more, surrendering fully to the sensation of two of his fingers filling her up, pushing along some delicious, long-ignored spot inside her body. She felt her climax approaching, and she fought it as hard as she could. Figures, she’d go this long unable to cum with another person, but the second she was forbidden to, her body hurtled towards it at a breakneck speed.

The fingers withdrew, and Rey gasped, her hips bucking. “Good job, sweetheart,” Poe praised her. She opened her eyes once more, and saw that they had pulled up in front of his building. “Let’s get you inside.” Rey nodded eagerly, and after Poe had popped his fingers in his mouth and licked them clean, something that caused her to make an embarrassing noise in her throat (he had just chuckled darkly, once, before giving one, last, vehement suck), they stumbled from the car and into the building.

“Best Buddy,” Poe said the moment they were in the elevator. “No one calls me, and no one disturbs us. Got it?”

 _“Yes Poe.”_ Best Buddy chimed.

“And buddy? Sleep mode. Now.”

“ _Very good, Poe. Please do let me know when you require my services again.”_ B.B. managed to sound cheeky, and Rey laughed breathlessly at the AI, but soon her laughter switched to a shriek. As the AI switched modes, Poe crowded her against the wall of the elevator, near the doors, pinning her hands above her head, his hips pressing insistently into hers.

Rey struggled to keep up, trying to kiss him with as much passion as she felt, their tongues stroking against each other, breath crowding each other’s mouths, teeth clacking more than once as Poe pressed her into the wall. The doors slid open, and they stumbled back into the apartment, Poe navigating them expertly even as his hands tugged and teased and stroked over her over-heated body. He kept muttering things about _beautiful_ and _perfect,_ and then, _are you sure?_

Rey broke from the embrace and took his hand, leading him backwards by memory towards his bedroom. “Very sure,” she whispered. “If you are.”

They entered the master bedroom, the dim lights turning on from the motion sensor. Poe’s pupils were entirely blown, his mouth swollen from her kiss, hair tussled and unkempt, the top two buttons of his shirt undone. He looked like heaven, good enough to eat. He looked perfect.

“Take your dress off,” Poe ordered, eyes glinting. “Show me what you’re wearing underneath.”

Rey didn’t hesitate, just pulled the dress up and over her head with no attempt at finesse or seduction. She fluffed her hair out and down over her shoulders, and she gestured at herself. “You have good taste, right?”

Poe looked thunderstruck. He stared hungrily at her, eyes lingering on the lacy cups covering the swell of her breasts, the complicated criss-crossing strings that sat above her panties (Rose had helped her put them on, and they’d laughed at it at the time, but Rey didn’t feel like laughing now). He didn’t answer her, but instead unbuttoned his right sleeve, and slowly rolled it up to the elbow. His eyes drifted to her face as he switched arms, and unbuttoned his left sleeve, rolling it up to the elbow. His gait was predatory while he approached her, and Rey took a subconscious step back, her knees hitting the end of the bed.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Poe groaned, his hand hovering between them. Rey snagged it and boldly placed it on her left breast, which he squeezed compulsively. “Holy shit.” He took a moment to run his hands over her body, clearly admiring the way the scraps of fabric hugged her frame and gave her the illusion of more curves than she actually had.

“Thank you again, by the way,” Rey said. “I love it, obviously.”

“I do too,” Poe’s eyes were wide enough that she actually believed him. He smirked when he met her eyes, though. “But I think I’d like it better off.” Rey once again didn’t hesitate, instead surfing this strange wave of confidence that she’d found in the last half hour.

She could still feel the wetness pooling between her legs from where he’d almost gotten her to cum in the car, and she felt it anew as she unclasped the bra and cast it aside, and then pulled her underwear down and stepped out of them. Rey was completely naked now, something that she thought should have made her feel vulnerable; instead, she felt strangely powerful.

The expression on Poe’s face certainly helped. Rey thought she finally understood the phrase _eyes falling out of your head._ He whispered something in Spanish, too low for her to catch, and then, grasping her waist gently, stepping forward, he guided her backwards onto the bed.

He went with her, and after she was laid out entirely, Poe hovered over her, still fully dressed. He kissed her languidly, his tongue exploring her mouth slowly, painstakingly, while his warm, large hand ran a circuit of her body. He paused here and there, clearly cataloguing her reactions, and once his fingers skated over her hip, she gasped and arched into the touch.

“May I?” Poe asked, breaking from her mouth to kiss under jaw. “Can I eat you out?”

“Yes,” Rey nodded, flushing with what should be embarrassment but what was entirely lust. “Yes, yes, yes—” His kisses continued, along her neck, then collarbone. Additional time was spent on each rose-tipped breast, his tongue rolling each nipple while his fingers paid homage to the other. Rey hissed and keened, her fingers twining in his hair, and they stayed there while he meandered down her abdomen, his tongue tracing the lines of her ribcage as he went.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured into the dip of her waist. “I’m so lucky, why you’d even…” he trailed off, and Rey frowned, sitting up slightly.

“Poe?” She said, tugging gently on his hair, trying to get him to look up. “Did you—”

His breath washed over her clit, and Rey squeaked, throwing her head back as a fresh wave of wetness gathered at her entrance. She felt it all, exposed to the air of the room, the silk sheets underneath her doing very little to cool her off. “I’m going to taste you now,” Poe whispered. “Is that okay?”

“Mhm,” Rey nodded, her eyes closing, back arching, toes curling, as – “ _Ohh._ ” Indescribable pleasure rose in her gut, and she tried to brace her feet on the bed, tried to provide more leverage to get closer to –

His stubble burned along the inside of her thighs deliciously, and her fingers wound themselves more tightly in his hair. “Poe,” she said, thrusting her hips up while he rolled her clit around with his tongue, his fingers already pressing at her entrance. “Mr. – _Mr. Dameron_!” She exclaimed the last part as his tongue and finger swapped positions, his thumb now lovingly teasing her clit, his tongue thrusting inside her body. It was a different sensation than his fingers, much hotter, much, much – “Fuck!”

“Knew you’d taste sweet,” Poe whispered, taking a short break to press a kiss into the inside of her shaking thigh. His fingers returned to thrust into her cunt, twisting upwards and pressing against that incredible spot inside her. “Like fucking sugar, sweetheart—” Rey mewled, too far gone to regret the noise, when he dove back in enthusiastically, sucking her clit into his hot, plush mouth. She felt raw, open, and like she was inches away from – yes – yes –

She was chanting the word out loud, “Yes, yes, yes,” and Poe took the encouragement. She came with a small scream of surprise – not even in the dark of her room, under the covers with absolutely no stress on her shoulders, had she ever cum this quickly – and he worked her through it with more gentle kisses to the inside of her thigh.

Rey panted and sighed, petting his curls. He looked up at her with the devil in his eyes, and her stomach twisted pleasantly. She meant to ask him if it were his turn, but he whispered, “Round two?” and his mouth found its way once more to her, and she found no reason to complain.

**

Rey slept peacefully, the moonlight spilling over the bed, her hair spilling over his pillow. It would smell like her in the morning, and he pretended like that wasn’t the most enticing thought he’d had since – since, well, Rey Smith had pulled off that dress and shown off the lingerie he’d bought for her.

Poe leaned against the doorway and gazed at her, naked still except for the silk sheet wrapped around her waist. They’d kissed for a long time after he’d tasted her the second time, but Rey’s eyes drooped more and more with each sweet kiss, and he’d watched in amazement as she fell asleep in front of him, in his bed, in his arms, as though she trusted him that fully.

But she did trust him, didn’t she? Poe took another sip of his whisky and stared out the window, up at the waning moon. Paige’s argument from the other day nagged at his conscience, and Poe found himself torn between two fears:

One, Paige was right, and Rey had developed feelings for him, feelings that might actually match his own, powerful feelings for her (and what would he do with that, what could he do, besides hurt her and fail her in a thousand and one awful ways).

Or, two: Paige was wrong, and he had gotten his hopes up (hopes he’d never even act on, God, the complexity of his feelings on this would probably require their own series of sessions in therapy) for absolutely no reason, and he'd discover at some point, sooner rather than later, Rey didn’t want him like that, could never want him like that.

He knew which outcome he could handle; he knew which one he’d prefer.

Poe drained his glass and went back to work, leaving the woman he loved in his bed, wanting nothing more than to be lying there next to her, stealing a just few more hours at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *takes reins of the sinwagon and rides off into the sunset*


	10. Under the Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a cruise up north, Rey feels a little ill - and of course, she doesn't stop to take care of herself. With her "just a cold" becoming something far more dangerous, Mr. Dameron steps in to help and discovers something surprising about his sweetheart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT'S BEEN A MINUTE - but I revamped this entire last arc of the story, really, /really/ reduced the angst I had planned, and now we're going for a briefer conflict so we can get to the ~smuttening~ ( I hesitate to call it fluff because it is absolutely kinky at times). 
> 
> This chapter has:
> 
> Some brief smut!
> 
> The most angst that the fic will really have until the end. 
> 
> Warning: someone gets very, very sick and has to go to the hospital. This is a plot point I've had planned since the beginning - 
> 
> and, I am not a medical professional, all medical anything is based on Google/WebMd/Grey's Anatomy. Just...enjoy the hurt part of hurt/comfort. Comfort is on its way.

Rey rested her elbows on the railing of the ship and gazed skyward. It was a direction she had familiarized herself with when she was a child, desperately seeking anything that wasn’t her foster home, that wasn’t yelling or screaming or fighting or even  _silence_ (the most frightening of the options, sometimes). The sky had always held a certain comfort for Rey Smith, daughter of nobody, a small slip of a person on a planet full of people she assumed were just as lonely and tired as herself.

The skies above Coruscant rarely held any stars; the skies above her various homes growing up sometimes offered a few constellations, and always, always the moon. But tonight –

She tilted her head back and tried to take it all in. As the party behind her continued, loud, thumping music pouring out across the deck with flashes of light whenever anyone slipped off to smoke or explore the various nooks and crannies offered on the cruise ship, Rey sought nothing but the sky above her, for she was finally seeing them.

The Northern Lights.

She’d been told, reliably, by more than one person, that they weren’t even at their strongest right now, but still, the streaming, pulsing colors that etched across the sky, shimmering and promising something  _bigger_ than her, promising maybe even the secret of her place in all this…her heart swelled impossibly at the sight. In the distance, mountainous glaciers sat primly above the water, their pristine appearance in the sky’s light show a dazzling addition to the beauty laid out before her. She really should be inside, schmoozing and batting her eyelashes, acting as the arm candy she was quite literally being paid to be, but…

She couldn’t pull herself away. So, she stood on the deck by herself, her neck probably aching from the persistent angle (not that she could really care or even notice), staring at the night sky (she hadn’t blinked in who knows how long), in her beautiful, backless evening gown that she hadn’t even seen before tonight.

Rey had seen heads turn when she walked in with Poe two hours ago, fresh and ready after preparing in their cabin (and she didn’t know much of cruises, but she understood that rooms were often tiny, glorified bunks, and the spacious suite given to ‘Mr. Dameron and Guest’ was an oddity). They cut a striking couple, she supposed, he in his well-fitted tux, the silver at his temples more undeniable than ever as he grew further away from his last haircut – and Rey grinned to herself as she recalled it was  _her_ preference for his curls that convinced him to put off getting them cut – and she in her gown, a deep, midnight blue that showcased the expanses of freckled skin on her back. Poe certainly had possessed no objection to her appearance when they finished dressing.

In fact, they missed the start of the party by almost ten minutes while he knelt to duck under her skirt, hitched a leg over his shoulder, and demonstrated with his mouth just how pleased he was with her appearance.

Rey blushed to think of it now, and tried to focus her attention on the dazzling lights above.

The door opened one more time, a sprawl of noise and splendor spreading across the deck for a moment; and then, footsteps approached.

“You’re going to catch your death out here,” Poe scolded by way of announcing himself.

“Hello to you too,” Rey teased without turning around. She found herself less and less likely to watch her tongue around Poe these days. They had been in this arrangement for almost two full months now, and she realized with each passing day how confident she felt in his presence. He seemed fairly charmed, usually, by her sass and cheek, and he never reproved her or offered her criticism. It was always praise, and softness, and gentle humor from Mr. Dameron, and Rey swore she could feel herself glow in his presence. Now, if only…

“Did the party bore you?” Hands slid down her arms, and Rey arched backwards slightly as Poe stepped in to fit his body against hers. She stood upright, her hands still on the railing, and his came to rest on hers; she leaned into his warm chest, and his chin came to rest on her shoulder.

“No,” Rey answered at last. Poe snorted in disbelief, and she found herself smiling while still staring upwards. “I mean –  _look_ , Poe. Have you ever seen anything like it?”

Warm lips pressed into her cold shoulder; Rey shivered. She hadn’t realized how cold she actually was until Poe was holding her. “No,” he admitted into her skin. His nose skated along her shoulder and up her neck, and Rey swallowed a moan when his lips found her ear. “I’ve never seen anyone this blue before, either, sweetheart.”

“I’m not blue,” Rey said crossly. He squeezed her hands in assurance and went back to kissing her shoulder.

“Can I give you my coat?” Poe murmured, standing up slightly just to switch sides. His mouth found her right shoulder blade, and Rey sighed.

“I’m alright,” she insisted. Her breath puffed out in front of her, and she marveled at it. “Seriously, Poe. Look at the  _sky._ It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She felt his lips part against her neck, and she shook her head ferociously. “Don’t feed me some line about beauty, Mr. Dameron,” she mock-scolded. “Just – come on,  _look._ ” She reached behind her and tugged on his curls playfully. He groaned and his hips surged forward involuntarily. Rey almost forgot her mission at the very obvious presence of his erection against her back.  _Interesting._

“Eyes up,” she reminded him, and Poe’s chin once more found her shoulder. She could only assume he was following her command, at last.

They stared up at the sky together, and Rey relaxed into his chest at the same time his arms tightened around her. For several minutes, not a word passed between them, and Rey let the moment sit, let it sink into her memory, this single, perfect moment where someone she loved held her while she watched the most beautiful thing on earth happen.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her throat thick suddenly. She was pretty sure the tears caught on her eyelashes immediately froze – she was definitely cold, now – but they certainly weren’t hidden from her voice.

“For what?” Poe asked, his hands rubbing her arms tenderly.

“For everything,” Rey said. She turned in his arms carefully so that her back was against the railing, and her eyes on his face. His eyes burned into hers while she smiled timidly up at him. “Thank you for bringing me, and for – for giving me a chance to see this.” She laughed softly and shook her head, casting her eyes downward towards the deck. “My life is so much bigger now that I know you, and so much of this I never would have experienced or achieved without you, and…and I don’t know how to thank you.”

A warm finger caught her under her chin and gently directed her to look up once more. “Rey,” Poe whispered, his eyes a liquid amber under the night sky. “I—” He shook his head and bit his bottom lip for a second, and Rey frowned, waiting for him to finish his statement. “I couldn’t imagine anyone I’d want to share this with instead of you.”

“Yeah?” Rey asked, shivering completely now. With the cold railing at her bare back, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could last out here.

“Yeah,” Poe said. He slipped his jacket off carefully and draped it over her shoulders. Rey accepted it gratefully, wrapping her arms around herself and tucking further into the warm material. “Can I kiss you?”

“You always can,” Rey assured him. He frowned at her response, just for a second, but then he leaned in, and his lips did a good job of warming her back up. He kissed her under the sky she’d fallen in love with, and she fell even more in love with him.

But, she couldn’t hold back her reaction to the weather for long, and soon Rey was shivering violently once more.

“Let’s get you inside,” Poe said worriedly. She opened her mouth to protest, but he held his hand out and shook his head. Rey slipped her hand into his as he said, “No, no, not back to the party. Let’s go to our room?”

The way he said  _our room_  made her shiver in a much more pleasant way. “Yes,” Rey said excitedly, nodding her head. “Yes, yes, yes.” She had quite an inclination to explore what she’d just been pressed up against, the firm, undeniable outline of Poe’s interest in her.

But when they got back to the room, Poe busied himself pulling out a pair of his sweatpants – as though he knew she’d forgotten to pack any – and held them out for her while digging around for a sweater. “Bundle up,” he ordered bossily, and Rey rolled her eyes while complying. “Bed!” was his next order, and Rey huffed while shuffling over. He pulled back the covers and patted the bed while still wearing his shirt and pants to his tuxedo, the bowtie undone and hanging around his neck.

“If I have to sit here will you cuddle me?” Rey asked grumpily, and Poe smiled so sweetly at her she almost automatically forgot that she was grumpy at being bossed around (and while it most likely stemmed from his desire to not have his sugar baby sniffling all weekend, his concern still made her heart warm in a way she refused to acknowledge).

“Give me a second, sweetheart.” He undressed, hanging up his pants and then his shirt – Rey particularly enjoyed watching him remove his cufflinks, for whatever strange reason (she was inclined to blame it on the elegance of his hands) – leaving him in just his boxers and dress socks. Her throat went dry as she realized this was the most undressed she’d ever really seen him.

Rey raised her eyebrows at him while pulling back the covers and patting the bed next to her, mimicking his actions from earlier. “Well?” She asked coyly, trying to appear as seductive as possible while wearing sweatpants and a sweater three times too big for her.

Poe sauntered over, looking incredibly carefree, and Rey stared openly at his body. He was muscular, she already knew that, but seeing him without his usual several layers of clothes. Well. The broadness of his chest coupled with the prominent v shape of his hips caused her heart to beat a little bit faster. His arms were, to put it mildly, very, very nice, as were the thick corded muscles of his thighs and calves.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” Rey blurted out, and then she clapped a hand over her mouth in horror. She  _said that out loud._

“Thank you,” Poe said, sitting next to her on the bed and scooching in close. Her feet bumped up against his shins, and he yelped. “Fuck, you’re cold,” he teased, his lips finding her neck and kissing her delicately.

“You should help me warm up,” Rey said suggestively, her mind screaming at her in her boldness. Tonight was the most carefree and cheerful she’d ever seen Poe, and she was probably pushing him too far. She really wanted him to tug these pants down and (what was it Rose always said?) fuck her six ways to Sunday, but that probably wasn’t going to happen.

“Yeah?” Poe’s lips drifted to the corner of her jaw, and his hand cradled the other side of her head while he sucked on the spot below her ear that he’d joyfully discovered a few weeks ago. “What were you thinking?”

Rey placed a hand on his abdomen and stroked towards the waistband of his boxers, praying her hands weren’t too cold after being bundled up and placed in a warm bed for five minutes. “I was thinking,” she said softly, “That you…that I could…”

“That you could what, sweet thing?” Poe asked, his hand drifting to trace random patterns along her forearm while her hand played with the tendons near his hip.

“I want to touch you,” Rey said with a heavy sigh, not caring if it sounded ridiculous. Poe blinked at her but didn’t say anything, his head resting on the pillow now while he stared up at her. “I just – you make me feel good, all the time, and I really, really want to touch you, so—”

“Okay,” Poe said, pulling his hand away and tangling it through his own hair. He splayed out, and Rey stared down at him in amazement.

“Okay?” Rey repeated, eyes wide. “Just like that? I can touch your cock?”

“Christ.” Poe’s hand briefly covered his eyes before returning to his hair. “Yes. Very much so, yes.”

“Oh!” Rey smiled delightedly, and used both her hands to tug his boxers down. Poe laughed briefly, and so did she, but they both stopped laughing when his cock sprung free, the head smacking back against his lower stomach with a lewd noise. “ _Oh._ ”

She stared at a very different part of him, now. He was … well, he was impressive, that much was obvious. His cock was a pleasant color, flushed red, darker at the head. He was cut, the head just slightly off center as he seemed to curve to the left. Rey reached out tentatively, and after Poe nodded at her, his eyes hooded while he watched her, she grasped his cock and breathed in sharply at the same time he did.

She hadn’t seen many penises in her life (okay, this was the second one), but she decided she quite liked the look of his. Rey gave his cock a wondering stroke, and Poe swallowed audibly, his eyes still boring a hole into the side of her face while she steadfastly gazed at what she had in her hand.

“You’re so…big,” Rey commented faintly, and she meant it. Poe wasn’t a large man, she knew that, but his cock was…striking. Her hand barely wrapped around it at the middle of the shaft, and it just seemed really unrealistic that something this large would ever fit inside her.

“Pretty average,” Poe countered, and Rey let her eyes lift to his face. He was staring at the ceiling now while she pumped him slowly.

“Nothing about you is average, Mr. Dameron,” she said, half-teasing, but really full-serious. A sharp intake of breath was her only response, and she started to experiment with the strokes, going faster or slower, and sometimes just rolling her fingers around his sensitive head. She watched his face after a time, and just his face. She watched him grow red around the ears, and at the top of his chest between his collarbones. Rey couldn’t do anything but stare at Poe, and soon she felt over-heated in her borrowed sweater.

Rey was just thinking about stripping, finishing her mildly incompetent handjob completely naked, when Poe grunted and muttered, “A little faster? Please?” She complied, and after a few, vigorous seconds, he choked out, “Fuck, Rey—” and gripped her wrist, his head thrown back, the tendons of his neck in sharp relief, while he came over his stomach and her hand.

He came to his senses faster than Rey would have liked (she liked seeing him sprawled out, incoherent and panting quite literally at her hands), and stood to walk to the washroom. He came back toweling his stomach clean, and he sat on the edge of the bed and cleaned off her hand as well. Rey smiled at him, and he threw the towel behind him carelessly before climbing back under the covers and kissing her thoroughly.

“You’re amazing,” Poe said to her, his hands running over her cheeks and neck. “So amazing. Can I return the favor?”

“No,” Rey shook her head, her eyelids heavy and heart happy. “No, that was…that was perfect.” She yawned, and distantly she noticed a dull ache at the back of her throat. Huh. “Just sleep, now?”

“Just sleep, then,” Poe agreed, kissing her forehead sweetly. “Come here.” She burrowed in deeper to his arms, and fell asleep with her head nestled against his strong, bare chest. The last thing she noticed before she dozed off completely was the beautiful silver ring resting just inches away from her nose, a ring on the end of a necklace she had never noticed before.

**

***

Four days, and no word from Rey.

They’d been on a single date since they returned from Alaska, Poe’s schedule being the issue at first, but then on their date, Rey had sneezed ten times in a row. She’d apologized, mortified, and Poe had sent her home with every possible cold remedy he could find at the nearest market.

Their next planned date had been cancelled by a highly apologetic Rey –  _Sick! Too gross to see anyone, sorry Mr. Dameron. Xoxo,_ had been sitting on his phone, staring at him for the last four days.

He’d called her, of course, and she hadn’t picked up – and he’d called once a day, forgoing his instinct to call every hour, or to drive over to her apartment.

At last, his concern won out over his pride, and he texted Paige asking for Rose’s number.

At about six p.m., a week and a half after they returned from their cruise, Poe sent what he prayed was a nonchalant text to Rose Tico.

[Poe, 6:08 p.m.]:  _Hey Rose, it’s Poe Dameron. I was wondering how Rey was doing? She was pretty sick the last I heard from her._

He took several, deep breaths, trying to squash his concern while waiting for a response. He felt no shame for how he dove for his phone when it finally pinged.

[Rose, 6:14 p.m.]:  _Hi, Poe. I didn’t even know she was sick! Sorry, I’ve been on vacation with my boyfriend._

[Poe, 6:14 p.m.]:  _No! That’s fine. Do you think I should stop by your apartment and make sure she’s okay?_

[Incoming Call from Rose Tico, 6:15 p.m.]

He immediately picked up. “Rose?”

“Hey, Poe?” She spoke loudly while music blared in the background. Suddenly, it got very quiet as a door slammed shut on the other line. “Sorry, I’m at a thing with Finn – um. Rey doesn’t live with me anymore.”

“What?” Poe sat down heavily at the edge of his coffeetable and stared out over Coruscant. “What do you mean? I’ve picked her up at your apartment at least half a dozen times.”

“Uh…yeah. About that.” There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, and then Rose said, in a rush, “She was embarrassed of where she lives so she wanted you to think she lived with me and Finn, but she lives by herself over in Niima, and—”

“ _Niima_?” Poe barked. He  _knew_ that neighborhood because the news had  _just_ told him that three people had been shot there  _this month._

“Yeah, she thought you would uh…respond badly to that.”

 _No fucking shit,_ Poe wanted to snap. Instead, he took a deep calming breath and tried to focus on pleasant, happy thoughts. “I can see why she’d think that,” he said through gritted teeth. His hand dragged through his hair, and curls fell in his face. “But seriously, have you at least heard from her today or yesterday?”

“My last text from her is from four days ago,” Rose said quietly. “I figured she was…doing something with you.”

His heart pounded uncomfortably in his throat. He wanted to throw up. “Rose,” he said slowly. “Has she…been on social media?”

“She doesn’t have any,” Rose whispered. “She—” She coughed into the phone and muttered something in Vietnamese. “If I send you her address will you check on her? If it’s not too—”

“I’m walking to my car right now,” Poe said, jumping up from the coffeetable and sliding across the hardwood floor to his shoes. “Send me the address.”

“Give her a good shake for me when you get there,” Rose laughed nervously. “Knowing her she’s probably just – working on a project. She does that sometimes, forgets to eat or sleep when she’s building something. It’s probably just that.”

“Let’s hope so,” Poe muttered. “Talk to you soon, Rosie.”

He hung up without another word and slipped into the elevator.

“Best Buddy, call Rey.” He ordered as the doors hissed shut.

 _“Yes sir._ ” The sound of ringing filled the small space – no answer. He dialed again, but same thing.  _“Shall I call her again?_ ”

“Don’t bother,” Poe said, his fingers drumming on the side of the elevator. “Thanks, buddy.”

He’d never found issue with the elevator’s speed before today, but now every passing second made him curse with increasing inventiveness; the second it reached the ground floor, he burst through the doors and sprinted for his car.

***

Poe had been depositing two thousand dollars into a checking account accessible only to himself and Rey Smith every week, for nine weeks. He’d never once questioned what she did with the money, only happy to give it to someone who could use it, someone who made him happy, and who was so effortless, it seemed, in her attempts to do so.

Poe stared up at the building Rey Smith lived in, and found himself questioning  _what the hell she did with that money._

He spent less than three seconds in reflection before running up the steps and pushing into the foyer. There was no buzzer, no guard in the lobby, no modern fob system to navigate the locks. He looked around for a second before finding the stairs, decrepit and molding, and jogged up towards apartment 306, the unit from the address Rose had sent.

The smell of vomit permeated the air, and Poe crossed the hallway, his nose wrinkled in distaste.  _Why the hell does she live here_? He thought desperately.  _Why didn’t she tell me?_ Probably because she understood he’d demand she move, he thought grimly. He sidestepped a definite puddle of sick, and banged on number 306.

It didn’t open, but 305 did.

“You the boyfriend?” a large, foul-breathed man asked, leering at Poe.

“So what if I am?” Poe snapped, turning around to knock again.

“Just like her then,” the man said, leaning against his doorway and studying Poe. He turned to glare at the man. “Stuck up, thinks she’s better than everyone, little tight-ass b—”

“Go back inside your apartment,” Poe said coldly, every inch of fury he’d been burying below the surface for the better part of a decade boiling back up. “And close your door, and never speak to her again. Or I swear to God, I will break every fucking bone in your body.”

The man muttered a few choice curse words but obliged, and Poe banged desperately on Rey’s door one more time. “Fine,” he groaned, “Fucking fine.” He lodged his shoulder up against the door, at its weakest point, and with a few careful, deliberate, forceful shoves, slammed the door open.

The deadbolt wasn’t even locked, he realized with a sinking feeling in his gut. He looked around wildly and saw that nothing looked particularly out of place – a little messy, endearingly so, but nothing surprising or worrisome.

There wasn’t any furniture, he noticed, just a mattress behind a screen. He saw socked feet poking out from under a blanket, and as he watched, they shifted, and a hoarse, rasping voice called out, “Whosth’ere?”

“Rey?” He called softly. “Honey, are you okay?”

“Poe?” The socks shifted again, and then disappeared behind the blanket. “Close the door, it’s so cold.”

It was sixty degrees outside. Poe shut the door as well he could with its busted hinges (he’d pay the landlord, if there even fucking was one) and crossed to the bed.

Rey was under several blankets, wearing a sweatshirt that looked like it had seen better days. Her hair was plastered to her head by sweat both old and new, and her cheeks were an unhealthy red. Hazel eyes were glassy and stared almost through him when he crouched next to her.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured. “How long have you felt like this?”

“Not long,” Rey mumbled. “I’m fine, I’m –” she interrupted herself with a horrible, rasping cough that had Poe wincing. Her cheeks flared brighter red, and when she pulled her hand away from her mouth, he saw something almost pinkish in her palm.

“That doesn’t look fine,” he said, grabbing at the box of tissues next to her mattress. “Tell me you didn’t go to work, sweetheart.”

“No,” Rey mumbled. “No, took off today. Going in tomorrow, though. Can’t keep skipping.” She coughed roughly again, and Poe tried to maneuver her into a more upright position. She whined and clutched her side, and he froze. People had coughed themselves into broken ribs before, he knew – he ran a hand down her side, and was shocked at how hot her skin was.

“What day is today?” He asked conversationally while he grabbed an abandoned thermometer sitting on a milk crate nearby.

“Tuesday,” Rey muttered, burying her face in her pillow. “Stupid question.”

It was Thursday.

“What’s the last thing you remember drinking?” Poe asked doubtfully, eyeing the empty water bottles and Gatorades near the bed.

“Iono,” Rey shrugged and grabbed at the top of the blankets; her hands were either too weak or too shaky to finish pulling them up. “It’s so cold,” she complained.

“Mhm,” Poe held the thermometer out to her. “Humor me, Rey.” She stuck her tongue out, and he placed it underneath delicately. “Just a few seconds,” he soothed, stroking a hand along her hair.

It trilled not too long after, and he stared in horror at the reading. 103.2.

“Yep,” he said, pulling the blankets back. Rey sobbed and covered her face, curling inward. “We’re going to the hospital.”

“What?” Rey blinked up at him while he hovered over her. “What? Poe – when did you…” she trailed off and stared into space over his shoulder, and he didn’t waste another second.

“Here we go,” he said softly, scooping her up in his arms. He winced; now that he was pretty well acquainted with Rey Smith’s body, he knew the way her spine stuck out was abnormal, and he knew she felt lighter than normal. Something terrible had happened to her in the last week, that much was sure. “Let’s go,” he whispered, kissing her sweaty forehead gently before sweeping towards the door.

The creepy neighbor was gone, thank God, and Poe closed the door as firmly as possible behind him. It was only a few minutes from her door to his car, and after he buckled her in and returned to his side, he woke up B.B.

“Send someone over to remove Rey Smith’s belongings from her address ASAP,” he ordered the AI.

“ _Yes sir._ ”

“And inform Coruscant General that we’ll be arriving in eight minutes,” Poe added, checking the GPS.

Rey stirred next to him while the AI hummed in response. “Poe?” She asked weakly, her eyes fluttering open. He cupped her face tenderly as her confused gaze bounced around the car, landing on him. “What’s happening?”

“We’re going to the ER,” Poe informed her, his eyes taking in the way her skin was tinged blue at the fingertips. “You need the hospital, Rey.”

“No,” She said, shaking her head, her mouth trembling. “No, I can’t afford it, please—”

Poe snorted and smoothed his hand over her hair. “You’re going to the hospital, even if I have to fucking  _buy_ the hospital,” he retorted. “Afford,” he muttered, more to himself as he peeled off from the curb and sped down the street.

Rey made another noise of pain, and he looked over at her as much as he could while going sixty in a thirty-five. He smoothed a hand over her brow and hissed at how much hotter it seemed, just having moved her. “You with me, sweetheart?” He asked.

“Always,” Rey said, her head lolling to the side. “You with me.”

***

A few hours after their arrival, Poe was pacing outside a hospital room, waiting for the doctor to come out and give him an update. He could see Rey inside, hooked up to a worrisome amount of tubes, and he hadn’t been allowed to see her since a nurse pushed him out when her breathing had…

Well, it seemed like it had stopped. Poe didn’t want to think about that.

“Mr. Dameron?” The doctor finally stepped out, still reading Rey’s chart as he tugged down his mask.

“Yes,” Poe stood in front of him within a millisecond, vibrating out of his skin. “What’s wrong? What happened? Is she going to be okay?”

“She’s stable,” the doctor said gently but firmly. “And that’s all I can tell you.”

“How can that be all?” Poe demanded. “It’s been three and a half hours! How can that be all the information you have for me? She’s  _sick,_ really sick – I’m not stupid, I know what a temperature of 103 can mean, I know –”

“I know it’s frightening,” the doctor said soothingly, as though Poe were in a mood to be soothed. He spun on his heel and glowered down the hall, his hands ripping at his hair. “She is very sick—"

“But  _how_?” He demanded, rounding on the doctor once more. “ _How_ could she be this sick? She’s – she’s not even twenty-three years old, for fuck’s sake, she’s perfectly healthy, I saw her  _last week,_ and she just had a fucking  _cold_ – _._ ”

“Mr. Dameron,” the doctor raised his hands, looking alarmed. “I’m sorry, it’s that – I really can’t discuss what’s wrong with Ms. Smith until her emergency contact gets here.”

Poe dragged his hands through his hair, the panic making it hard for him to breathe or even see straight.  _Do you know how much money I’ve given to this hospital?_ snarled at the tip of his tongue, but he just barely bit it back. And thank God he did, for not even a second later –

Two people came sprinting around the corner: Rose Tico and a handsome black man.

“We started driving as soon as we got your call,” Rose panted. “This – this is—”

“Finn Trooper,” the man said, jabbing his finger at his chest. His eyes flickered to Poe briefly before fixing on the doctor. “That’s me. Emergency contact. What’s – what’s wrong?”

“Ms. Smith has an advanced case of bacterial pneumonia,” the doctor said. All the noise in the world roared by angrily in Poe’s ears, and he missed the rest of the statement.

“Could you repeat that?” He asked dazedly, as though from another body, when the doctor finished.

Finn gestured at the doctor, who tucked his clipboard into his side and sighed.

“I said, Ms. Smith has bacterial pneumonia,” he repeated slowly. Finn’s arm wrapped around Rose’s shoulders. “It seemed that when she was sick last week, as her boyfriend shared with us,”  _But that’s me,_ Poe thought blearily.  _This guy thinks Rey would actually date me._ “Her immune system lowered enough for the infection to set in. Apparently she worked for over fifty hours last week, manual labor,”  _Wait, **what**? _ “And it was all the bacteria needed to get in. She could have gone into sepsis if she’d waited any longer to come in.”

 _It’s too similar,_ Poe thought, sick to his stomach.  _It’s too –_

“What?” Rose said faintly. “She – she could have died?”

“Yes,” the doctor said, his arm coming out to rest on Rose’s arm. “Luckily, her boyfriend here realized something was wrong and brought her in, or this would be a very different story. She’ll be sick for a while, but I have high confidence in her ability to recover.” A nurse shouted something from down the hallway, and the doctor excused himself, walking away.

“You saved her,” Rose sobbed suddenly, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Poe, who still felt as though he’d been turned to stone. “You  _saved_ her.”

She cried into his shirt, and Finn wiped more than a few tears from his own face, while Poe struggled to comprehend what the doctor had just told him, tried to escape the ghosts of his past.

“Finn Trooper,” the other man said suddenly, extending his hand over Rose’s head, where it was still buried in Poe’s chest. “Hate to meet like this, but hi.”

“Poe Dameron,” he remembered to respond. “And yeah.” They shook and then stood together in the hallway, Finn moving in eventually to hug Rose as well.

The three waited for a nurse to wave them in, one at a time.

Poe went last – Rose and Finn decided to go home so they could change and sleep after their travels to get here, and Poe swore to call them with any change – and when he walked into the room which smelled of antiseptic and cold, he took a few, shuddering breaths with his hands laced behind his head when he saw Rey lying there, the bruises under her eyes, the monitors hooked up.

“Why?” He said, dropping into the nearest chair with the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Why would you push yourself like that?” He delicately held her free hand in his own, the one not threaded with an IV or hooked up to an oxygen monitor, and pressed his lips to it. “Why wouldn’t you tell me you lived there?” The questions boiled up inside of him as his panic and grief built, mingling almost disastrously with misplaced anger at his lack of control. “Why?”

He demanded these and many more questions of Rey Smith, begging the universe for her eyes to open, for her sweet voice to tease him for crying at an unconscious woman’s bedside, for her hand to squeeze his back.

Instead, he contented himself with the rhythmic reassurance of her heartbeat, displayed with clinical confidence on the monitor next to her bed. He tried to time his breaths to match it, the percussion of her precious, beautiful heart, carrying on through the darkest of the night.   

***

**

Waking up was highly unpleasant.

First was the awful business of breathing through half-drowned lungs. It was a pain Rey was definitely sure she never wanted to feel again.

Next were the tears – Rey cried a few times from pain and frustration and the medication, but not nearly as many times as Finn or Rose. They were both intensely worried and fussed over her non-stop for the few days she was confined to the hospital bed.

And then there was the confrontation –Poe was nearly vibrating out of his skin when he finally collapsed in a chair next to her, three days after she opened her eyes, right before the doctor was going to decide if she could go home or not.

“You can’t go back there,” he said flatly.

“I beg your pardon?” Rey said. She had been told that Poe had saved her life (of  _course_ he did, the universe was determined to make her feel inferior to the handsome man she so desperately wished saw her as an equal), and humiliatingly enough, he had literally broken down her door to do so.

“Your apartment,” he said, his eyes burning a hole in her scratchy sheets. “You can’t go back there.”

“And why not?” Rey said hotly, a cough building in her throat.

“Because it’s filthy,” Poe pointed out, a cold, business-like logic creeping into his tone. She really didn’t like that. “It’s unsafe. Your neighbor is most likely a frequent flyer on America’s Most Wanted. Oh, yeah, and – you don’t really have a front door right now.”

“None of that’s really my fault,” Rey grumbled. Poe’s expression softened, and he held his hand out to her. Rey took it without hesitation, and he kissed her knuckles gently.

“None of it is,” he whispered. “But sweetheart, please, please don’t go back there. Move. Move anywhere. I’ll buy you an apartment, or a house, or a condo –“

“I don’t need your charity,” Rey said sharply, her cheeks flushing. She coughed harshly, and within seconds, Poe was offering her a cup of warm water. She thanked him quietly and sipped at it, wincing at the burn in her throat.

“It’s not,” Poe shook his head and sighed in exasperation. “I wish you wouldn’t look at it like that.” She shrugged and kept drinking. “Can I ask why you weren’t…using the money for a nicer apartment?”

They were alone in the room, but Rey was shocked to hear him speak so openly about their arrangement. She lowered the cup and stared at her lap. “I’m paying off my student loans,” she admitted guiltily. “So I can start saving for grad school. I – I was working to pay my rent, but I only have thirty thousand or so left to pay, and the money—”

“I’ll pay them,” Poe said desperately, moving to kneel at the bedside. Rey looked at him in shock and opened her mouth to argue. “ _No_. No! Listen to me – you have no idea how much I want to pay them. Please. Let me pay them. Let me do this for you, so you can … so you can just live, please sweetheart.”

Rey shook her head, her damnable pride clawing at her throat, but Poe’s voice cracked when he next spoke, which got her attention pretty well. “I do not care about my money. Not for a fucking second. It means nothing if I can’t use it to help the people that I… that I care about, do you understand?” His eyes swam with tears, and Rey nodded feebly. “Please. I can write you a check write now, and you’ll never have to worry about the loans again.  _Please._ ”

“Okay,” Rey whispered. She was so tired, after all. Tired of being under someone’s thumb – and somehow, even though she wouldn’t have felt this way two months ago, Poe Dameron paying off her loans felt worlds different from owing money to a shady group that promised to care about young people – tired from being sick, tired from working her whole life. Poe wanted to help her…and she trusted Poe.

“Thank God.” He sat in his chair and sagged into it, his hands covering his face. He took a second and then lowered them, looking at her keenly once more. “Would it be…would it be pushing it if I begged you to move?”

“Don’t you dare say you’d pay for that too,” Rey said with an attempt at lightness, but Poe’s eyes shifted guiltily. Fuck. “I can’t just be beholden to you for everything, Poe.”

“You wouldn’t be,” he said quickly. “The deed would be in your name, it would be yours, separate from me, a one time thing—”

“It wouldn’t be,” Rey pointed out. A beat of silence, and then, begrudgingly, “If—”

“If what?” He asked, sitting upright eagerly. 

“If you wanted to help me find somewhere safer,” Rey said slowly. “If I didn’t have to pay my loans…I could move in and get on my feet, right?”

“Right.” Poe nodded vigorously, smiling brightly. She smiled in response, a little heartbroken that this was all it took to make him look so happy. “Absolutely, of course, yes—”

“So…” Rey shrugged at him, sipping at her water once again. She coughed a few times before asking, “Know any good realtors?”

Poe’s exuberance was overshadowed by the doctor’s return; Rey was ordered to three weeks’ bedrest, minimum, and she flailed at the idea of being away from work for so long.

“Your work understands,” Poe said firmly. “Remember? I already talked to them.” And he had: her boss was a big enough fan of Resistance Tech that Rey could take three years off, and she didn’t think he would care.

Eventually, she took Poe up on his offer to move in with him for the interim. “You could stay in the other bedroom,” he’d added hastily (and Rey pretended that didn’t make her deflate, on some weird, domestic-yearning level). “It wouldn’t be…it wouldn’t be an issue at all.”

“Just until I’m better,” Rey warned.

Poe nodded, grinning wildly, and he didn’t stop grinning through the entire discharge process. When Rey was finally sitting in the front seat of his car, she leaned over the console and gave his cheek a kiss, only wincing slightly at the ache in her ribs as she settled back into her seat.

“Let’s go home,” he said softly, picking up her hand and kissing it before adeptly pulling into the midday traffic.

Rey didn’t say anything, merely stared out the window and tried to ignore just how hard her heart beat at that word in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my.


	11. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After she recovers from her brush with death, Rey attends another party as Mr. Dameron's plus one. A disastrous misunderstanding, however, threatens to destroy the tentative happiness she and Poe had managed to build in the last three weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ANGST.
> 
> I know I said last chapter was the last massively angsty one, but then I went to a conference for four days and left my happier flash drive at home, and re-wrote all of this in a hotel room with crappy wifi; I had to stop and stress-eat/cry while writing this, so fair warning about the #massiveangst. 
> 
> Also warning; Rey refers to herself as a whore, and both she and Poe have incredibly negative thoughts about themselves, as well as struggle with their respective anxiety.
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. Armitage Hux in this chapter is not even really Hux, he is Domnhall Gleason with Hux's name (so no, I have not forgotten that he is a SpaceFascist)

 “Poe?” Rey called dreamily, lifting her foot above the water line. A fleet of bubbles covered half her shin, and Rey studied them impassively, tilting her toes this way and that, admiring the way it looked.

“Yes?” Poe appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing what Rey liked to call ‘Casual Mr. Dameron’ clothing; a button down and comfortable but neatly pressed pants.

“I thought you were going to join me.” She dipped down lower in the water and skated her hand along the surface, hiding her smirk behind the forest of bubbles.

“I was,” Poe said, unbridled interest on his face. He gestured hopelessly at the computer tucked under his left arm. “And then…you know…”

“Work.” Rey sighed and lifted herself halfway out of the water. “Well, if you aren’t going to join me…” She trailed off, arching her back playfully, well aware of the bubbles sliding down her now bare nipples, coasting along her upper arms, sticking to her ribs – she smiled at Poe with hooded eyes, and she could see his Adam’s apple bob from across the room.

“Stay there,” he ordered, unbuttoning his shirt with one hand. “Please?”

“Oh, alright,” Rey conceded, sinking back under the water. Poe walked out of view for a moment probably to set his computer down. He returned less than a minute later, naked except for his boxer briefs. “Hello,” she purred, excitement coiling through her at the sight of so much bared, golden skin.

“Hi.” Poe grinned cheekily as he walked up to the bathtub. “Room for one more in there?”

“I’d say there’s room for at least eight,” Rey said honestly, eyeing the massive tub.

“What if I don’t feel like sharing?” Poe asked, and her breath caught when she looked back over at him, his thumbs hooked in his boxers while he slid them over his hips, his cock, half-hard, springing free. Soon, the fabric pooled on the floor, and Poe kicked them away unceremoniously, climbing into the tub and smiling at her with darkened eyes. “Come here, sweetheart,” he said, leaning against the side and opening his arms, spreading his legs wide.

Rey scooted over, some of the water splashing around in her haste, and cuddled up to Poe’s chest, resting her head on his collarbone. While she definitely could see a thousand and one ways this could turn very explicit, Poe’s arms wrapped around her, and he kissed the top of her head, and she allowed the moment to pass as it was, warm and safe and bubbly, Poe holding her and sharing a pleasant experience without pressure for more.

She rotated in his arms so she was also facing forward, and his hands drifted up and down her arms. His kisses now dotted along her neck, and Rey arched her head back, moaning slightly from the delicate pressure. His hands tightened in response, and no matter how chaste the previous moment was, the following one was significantly less so: soapy hands gripped her more tightly, his right at her left breast, his left at her right hip, and Poe managed to angle his head and kiss her fully. Rey twisted as much as she could without breaking out of his delectable grasp, and sighed as his tongue stroked into her mouth while his hands massaged her firmly, with distinct purpose. Rey moaned, and ground backwards, his cock most certainly present at the small of her back.

Poe’s hands slipped, sliding to her stomach, his arms wrapping around her comfortingly once more, and the kiss cooled. His lips pressed into her cheek, her jaw, her neck, and he left his mouth at her shoulder. Rey would grumble, but she knew it would be pushing it. Poe had been so adamant in not pursuing any sort of sexual contact in the weeks since she’d returned from the hospital.

Her things were in the second bedroom (Poe’s eye had definitely twitched when she confirmed that the single suitcase and one moving box contained all her worldly possessions), but her sweater, her phone charger, her hairbrush, purse, and favorite blanket were all in the master bedroom.

The first night she’d spent by herself in that other bedroom – but a round of nasty coughing around one a.m. had caused Poe to sprint to her door; he’d stood wild-eyed, staring at her, before he swept in, sitting her upright, commanding B.B. to start up a steam bath in the restroom, his hands running soothingly along her brow and back. He’d doted on her, waited on her hand and foot until the sun rose, and she found herself in his own bed, propped up on pillows, a bottle of water nearby, a humidifier blasting, a compress held by Poe and frequently administered to her upper chest, and in his bed, she was just comfortable enough to finally fall asleep.

He’d begged her to stay in his bed all day while he worked, and Rey had been too tired, too content, too secretly pleased to be cared for, that she hadn’t argued. And when she tried to sneak away around eight p.m, Poe had pouted at her until she agreed to stay close by all night.

She hadn’t been up all night coughing in over ten days, now, and she was only two days away from the three week bedrest requirement. Rey had been hoping that Poe would lift his _no orgasms!_ rule early as a result of her much improved health, but it was still so nice to just be held by him that she couldn’t complain. And truthfully, even kissing and sliding around the bathtub had made her limbs heavy and eyes tired.

“I have a party on Saturday,” Poe said softly in her ear, just as she was about to drift peacefully off. “Would you – if you’re feeling well enough, would you like to go?” He nosed her neck as she thought about it, and whispered, “I have to make a stupid speech, and I hate making speeches. I’d feel better if you were there.”

_Oh._

And that was the other thing – the reason why Rey wasn’t looking for apartments as diligently as she had in the 48 hours after her release from the hospital, why she clicked away from email updates on her search terms for affordable housing in Coruscant – Mr. Dameron had vanished in the last 18 days, and Poe had taken his place entirely.

She’d always felt _treasured_ by him, but this…this was something different. He didn’t mask his affection for her in gifts; the only thing he brought her was soup on the couch, or a blanket for her lap. He didn’t shower her with compliments; he asked after her health, and smiled like the sun when she told him she was feeling well. He didn’t dodge questions about his own life; he openly told her about his day when he sank with a groan onto the couch next to her, his eyes bleary, and his smile rueful as he complained about stocks and board meetings and technology hiccups that needed to be ironed out, and he sought her opinions on funding for some of his non-profit efforts, some charity events (and it was that last part that thrilled Rey so intensely, the idea that Poe maybe, just maybe, was starting to view her as equal in this, that he viewed her as a support in the same way she viewed him as one, that no matter how much he was taking care of her, he saw her as worthy of helping to shoulder some of the burden in all this).

So, when he whispered his invitation to her, and admitted why he wanted her in the audience –

“Yes,” Rey tilted her head back so she could look him in the face as she repeated, “Yes, of course.”

His answering smile was more brilliant than a supernova as a wet hand cupped her jaw, and he slanted his mouth over hers for a satisfied kiss. If Rey closed her eyes and wished hard enough, she could almost describe it as loving.

***

The party was, in a word, awful. Rey still felt slightly like shit (not that she’d admit it to Poe, and honestly she hadn’t coughed up a lung in a few days, so she had no excuse to give in to the ache in her ribs, she could do this, she could do this, she could—), and she found herself more than a little unable to keep up with the veritable flood of new faces she met throughout the night. The party was in a beautiful convention hall, a renovated project paid for by Resistance Tech’s beautification efforts, and as the technical host of the event, Poe was giving a speech and announcing a new development his company was overseeing.

When he’d told her he fully intended on buying land near Niima, and building safe, low-income housing –  using some sort of legal magic to ensure rent would always be controlled, and families could live there without fear of eviction, with a Resistance Tech office going up right next door to create jobs and revenue for the entire area – Rey had been delighted. When he quietly admitted that her own issues with housing had reminded him _why_ it was important that he share his wealth, that he hadn’t done nearly enough to help, to give back in the last few years of his career – Rey had excused herself to cry inelegantly on the toilet.

Now, she felt nothing but proud of her … Poe. Her Poe. Rey shrugged off the anxiety over the label, and went with the fact that the last few weeks had made her feel more cherished than she could ever recall, and she stood at Poe’s side for the first half of the evening in an emerald green dress that he’d been ridiculously excited to see her in before they’d left the apartment (and they’d almost been late for the first event of the evening as a result of his enthusiasm, and Rey was very much excited to know that the _no orgasms!_ rule had been heartily broken, several times). She met at least a dozen people before she felt too overwhelmed, and she tugged on Poe’s sleeve.

“I need to take a break,” she whispered, her eyes gritty from exhaustion. Poe took one look at her face and frowned, concern lighting his eyes. “No, I’m fine,” she added hastily. “Seriously – just – need a break.”

“Got it.” Poe grinned at her, and then someone called his name. “Ah! Mr. Hux!” He looked at Rey with mild panic. “He’s one of my top investors, wish me luck.” He squeezed her hand before walking forward.

“Luck!” Rey whispered at his back before retreating to the side of the room and collapsing onto a chair. She sat on her own for a few minutes – and then a quarter of an hour. And then half an hour.

Rey watched Poe flit around the room like an overactive butterfly, and a fond smile played at her lips. She was content, she supposed, to watch him from the sidelines (she had asked for a break, but didn’t specify a time, after all), but soon she felt a little strange. There was no one here she knew. She’d left her phone in the car, as she hadn’t wanted to carry a clutch, or ask Poe to heft her phone around all night (God, what if she’d gotten a call in the middle of his speech and distracted him and ruined his entire speech and then…no. It was too horrible to think about). Poe didn’t seem like he really missed her company at all as he met with more and more people and didn’t once look over at her corner of the room. Huh.

Was he mad at her for needing to sit down? Was she really not as important to him as she’d thought? _Of course you’re not,_ the cold voice of her self-doubt, so long buried in the face of her recovery. _Why would you be? A little nobody like you._

Tears stung at her eyes, but she was spared the mortification of crying in public by a smooth, British accent cutting in. “Is this seat taken?” She looked up and saw a very handsome, very kind-looking man with flaming red hair. Rey shook her head, her misery abating somewhat with the sheer relief of being acknowledged as a person after almost an hour of silence.

“Armitage Hux,” the man said, extending a slender but large hand.

Rey took it and beamed at him. “Rey Smith,” she said cheerfully. “Hux? As in—”

“Brendol Hux’s son, yes,” Armitage laughed awkwardly and shook his head. He wore a very nice suit with thin lapels, the cool grey-blue an excellent choice with his fair skin and remarkable hair. “That’s me.”

“Oh.” Brendol must be the investor that had Poe so worried when he’d left her. _Be polite! Be nice! This is important to Poe! It will not look good if you piss off the son of an investor!_

“Yep. So. Are you as miserable as I am, or am I just projecting?” He grinned at her startled expression. “Sorry, I saw you sitting over here, and I thought, _wow, that person looks just as completely bored out of her mind as I am, I should go say hi.”_

Rey laughed, and then winced at the continued burn of her abdominal muscles. Hux grinned at her, having not noticed her flinch of pain, or not caring, and she felt once again relieved at his lack of overreaction to her discomfort. It wouldn’t be nearly as hard to be nice to Poe’s investor’s son as she initially feared.

“It’s…not the best,” Rey said carefully. “But, I’m here to support Poe, so.”

Armitage’s eyes flickered over to where Poe was still schmoozing, a confident and charismatic grin on his handsome face. “I thought I saw you with Dameron. Is he your boyfriend?” He said it was completely casual interest, his face relaxed and open, and Rey’s heart quickened, her mind reeling with indecision before –

“Yes.” She said it firmly, surprising herself, but not Armitage, with her answer. “Yes, he is.”

“Lovely,” Armitage grinned at her and leaned against the back of his chair. “I thought he looked more cheerful than he had at last year’s event. And, don’t take this in a weird way – you’re not much like the other women he’s dated.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked curiously, her mind flashing to the image of Jessika Pava, gorgeous and sultry and confident, leaning against the bar of a Colorado inn.

“You seem…less interested in all this bullshit.” Armitage’s smile broadened at Rey’s surprised laugh, which was far louder than she intended. “See, they definitely never thought I was funny.”

“Their loss,” Rey said, grateful that she hadn’t lapsed into a cough. She looked over at Poe on impulse.

He was staring at her from across the room. Rey lifted her hand in greeting, but the man talking to Poe gripped his arm, and Poe’s eyes reluctantly left her as he answered the man’s question. She shook her head and looked back at Armitage, who had unbuttoned his suit and was sitting with an even more relaxed posture. He was easily the most laidback person in this room, and it put her more at ease.

She turned so she more fully faced Armitage, and his smile didn’t displace for a second. “Why are you here then, if you hate it so much?” Rey asked curiously.

“Same reason as you, I suppose,” he said, waving a careless hand. “Someone I love needed to be here, and I wanted to support them.” Rey blushed at the implication, and her eyes dropped to the floor. “Does he know you hate these things?”

Rey looked up again, and Armitage’s eyes had softened somewhat. She opened her mouth to answer, but no reasonable thing came to mind. _I have to be here,_ would only open up more questions. _This is the only real reason he wants me,_ the bitter part of her mind spoke up. _If I’m not with him at these things, he won’t want me._

“I wouldn’t say I hate them,” she said carefully. “I just feel so…lost at them. Poe has no idea. I don’t want him to have an idea.”

“Don’t you think he’d want to know?” Armitage asked softly, his eyes growing more kind. “I complain at my dad for at least an hour before and after these things.”

“I don’t want to complain.” Rey shook her head as she tried to figure out how to phrase it. “Mr. – Poe,” she caught herself carefully, praying that Armitage hadn’t caught the slip as well. “He’s…he already handles so much. If I can be here for him, I want to be.” Her eyes flickered back to Poe; he was staring again. She didn’t wave again, but looked back at Armitage with a shy smile on her face – maybe Poe was staring at her because he like the way she looked. Given his reaction earlier that evening, that couldn’t be too far from the mark.

“You’re a very good partner, then,” Armitage said warmly. She laughed at that as well, delighted at his phrasing, and they lapsed into a cheerful conversation on the benefits of Netflix vs. Hulu (Armitage was a self-described laze-about, and very passionately advocated his couch potato philosophy that had Rey almost rolling on the floor in stitches).

After about fifteen minutes of lively discussion, Rey spotted movement in the corner of her eye. Poe was walking towards them, a strange, contained expression on his face. Her neck prickled – had something happened? Had someone been rude to him? A bad conversation? Nerves about his speech? – and she hastened to stand up, smiling at him as sweetly as she could. Armitage stood as well, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, exposing freckles not too different from her own.

“Ah, Armitage,” Poe said as he approached, his voice clipped and cool. “Thank you for coming.”

“My pleasure, Poe,” he said, winking at Rey. She giggled and then looked at Poe. His face briefly looked – stricken? That couldn’t be right.

“I see you’ve met my associate,” Poe said, nodding at Rey. The floor dropped out from underneath her, and the noise of the room grew distant, tinny, through the roaring in her ears. _What?_

Dimly, she could see the look of confusion on Armitage’s face. “Associate?” He repeated, frowning at Rey, and then gazing at Poe carefully. “Sorry, does she – does Rey work for you?”

 _No,_ Rey wanted to scream, _no, I really don’t._

“Yes,” Poe smiled at her coolly and then tilted his head at Armitage. “One of my best.”

 _Whores,_ Rey’s mind unhelpfully supplied. _You’re one of his best whores._ She’d never thought of herself like that, never, not once, not for a second since she’d signed that damned, fucking contract. But now, with Poe’s perfect mouth forming those words, confirming her worst fear, her long-buried anxiety –

She stared at Poe, the room still spinning, not really registering what Armitage was saying, no doubt something about how this crazy woman next to him had tried to pass herself off as Poe’s girlfriend – _idiot,_ she seethed, _you fucking idiot_ – and then someone tapped Poe on the shoulder, and the sound in the room roared back into her senses.

“You’re needed backstage to get your mic,” a man holding a clipboard said, and Poe nodded at him. His eyes passed over Rey and then Hux.

“Better get to it. See you both later. Glad you’re enjoying the party.” And he vanished with the employee just as quickly as he had come.

The room still spun sickeningly, and Rey swore she could see her heartbeat behind her eyes.

“Rey?” It was Armitage again, and he looked alarmed. “Rey, are you—”

“I need to get out of here,” she croaked, her heart collapsing in her chest. She clawed at the stupid, fucking diamond necklace Poe had put on her earlier that night. It felt like a collar now. “I need—”

“Of course, I’ll call you a car,” Armitage’s hand was in his suit jacket, but Rey shook her head, her face twisted with misery.

“This building isn’t that far from h—where I’m staying,” Rey corrected herself automatically, her world view already shifted. “I can – I’ll walk.”

“It’s freezing,” Armitage said, eyeing her bare arms with unconcealed concern. “Seriously—”

“I’m such an idiot,” she said, her voice cracking into a sob. She slapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head. Armitage’s expression was one of deep, genuine concern. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have – shouldn’t have said that.” _Shouldn’t have said a lot of things. Or thought them._

“Rey,” he said softly, his phone in his hand. “Wait a second.”

“It was nice to meet you,” she said, smoothing her face into a pleasant mask. Onstage, the emcee was announcing that Mr. Dameron’s speech would start in a few minutes. She couldn’t – she needed – “Goodbye.” She turned on her heel and walked as quickly as she could to the exit, elbowing through the crowd that now walked towards the stage. She wasn’t sure if Armitage followed her – she’d run if she had to, but in the meantime, she kept her composure, pretending for the next few, agonizing seconds that she was just another partygoer, searching for a bathroom before the big speech.

Once she hit the lobby, she picked up her pace. Once she hit the doors, she kicked her heels off and held them in her hand. Once she was through the doors, she jogged down the street, not caring about the gravel and debris that dug into her bare feet, the dirt surely gathering on the hem of her beautiful dress.

Once she was a block away from the building where it had all fallen apart, Rey started to sob.

**

Poe stood emotionless, his face frozen, as the young woman clipped his mic to his lapel. He cleared his throat every few seconds, trying to find the inspiration to speak, the notecards tucked safely in his jacket pocket, but –

It was driving him mad. The sight of Armitage Hux charming Rey, _his Rey,_ how nice they had looked together, how much _better_ he was for her. Poe had already known someone like Armitage was a better fit: younger, less fucked up, happy-go-lucky (if a bit lazy) – Poe knew that Rey would be happier with Armitage, as he was the only person who’d gotten her to smile since she walked in the doors of this ridiculous party. Happier with Armitage, so it would was the only logical conclusion to let Armitage think there was nothing between him and Rey, _don’t get in the way, don’t ruin her life, you’ve done enough of that –_

“We’re ready for you, Mr. Dameron,” a girl who was not Rey said, and Poe nodded bleakly. He pulled his notecards out, took a few deep, calming breaths, as much as he could, and walked out to the stage. The lights glared down at him, and Poe tried to ignore the way the back of his collar immediately sprung into a sweat. _No questions,_ he had demanded when they planned the speech. _I’ll give the damn speech, but no questions. And no flash photography._

It’d be too similar to when he’d come home, after…

No. Poe couldn’t think about that. He cleared his throat one last time, it now echoing into the microphone; he winced and grabbed the glass of water sitting out on the podium and drank some gratefully. He grinned at the audience and made some smart ass comment about nerves, and everyone laughed. It was his party. No wonder they were laughing.

In a daze, he got through his notecards, his eyes searching across the room, squinting at times into the lights shining on him. He found Armitage Hux in the back row, found him staring at him and frowning. There was no one of note at his side. Poe’s eyes scanned the room, the sides of the audience, he even turned his head and looked at the side of the stage.

 _Where is Rey_? He thought as he stumbled through his thanks to his board. _She’s supposed to be here, I’m supposed to be able to see her –_ Poe managed to get through his summary of what his company had done in the last quarter to uplift parts of the city.   _Everything’s better when Rey’s here_ – the room exploded into applause when he finished his announcement of the future development headed by Resistance Tech.

Poe thanked the room, fully in a cold sweat that had most likely (hopefully, hopefully) gone unnoticed by the audience, and walked off the stage. He immediately returned to the ballroom, his eyes desperately seeking out the slender figure in green, the only light in the goddamn room that mattered, but instead, he spotted Hux, by himself near the bar.

He steeled himself for any unpleasantness, for the inevitability of Rey picking someone like Hux over him, and walked over. “Hey,” he greeted him, and Hux barely spared him a glance, snorting down at his glass of whisky.

“Hey yourself.” He said coolly. “Good speech.”

It sounded oddly sarcastic, and Poe rankled. But no – if this was the end, he’d lose gracefully, he refused to be an ugly shadow in Rey’s past.

“Have you seen Rey?” He asked, fighting the urge to drag his hand through his hair. “Thought I’d speak to her after the speech—”

“You,” Armitage drained his glass and set it back down with a loud smack. “Are the biggest fucking idiot I’ve ever met.”

“I beg your pardon?” Poe snapped, his cheeks heating automatically, his brain whirring into overdrive.

“You’re a bloody idiot,” Hux repeated, leaning in and scowling. “She’s gone.” Poe blinked, shocked, surprised, nervous – “Left before your speech.” Armitage signaled to the bartender for another, and Poe grabbed his arm.

“What?” Poe said, tugging on him angrily. “What are you saying?”

“She left,” Armitage stared at him with open disgust. “You know. After you made her cry.” _What?_ “You should probably do something about that.”

Poe stood still as a statue, his feet unable to move, his mind unable to process what Hux had just said. _He’d made her cry? In public? How?_ A thread of guilt wove through his thoughts, a way he’d phrased something that might have… _no, she should have known, should have realized that I just didn’t want to get in the way of her and—_

“If you have any sense at all,” Armitage said loudly, startling Poe out of his endless circle of thoughts. “You’ll chase after her.”

Poe had never followed an order so fast in this life, or his past one. He barely was able to let Jyn know that he was leaving – she arrived just as he was sprinting for the doors, and her look of confusion morphed into concern as he shouted something unintelligible about Rey – and then he dove for his car, still waiting out front. _Had she walked back?_

His leg bounced furiously as the car pulled away from the curb, and he eyed the sidewalk anxiously. She would have left about fifteen to twenty minutes ago, based on the length of his speech. _Where did you go?_ His only thought was to go home. Her phone was on the seat next to him, which he discovered when he tried to call her, desperately. It wasn’t even 45 degrees outside, and she hadn’t been wearing a coat –

The car stopped, blocked by an accident up ahead. They were still four blocks from his building. “Fuck,” Poe muttered, yanking the jacket of his tux off and abandoning it on the floor of the car. “Here! I’m getting out here—” He jumped out of the backseat, despite the confused shouting of his driver, and he sprinted down the street, dodging cars and ignoring the irritated honks of other drivers.

He slammed through the front doors of his building not even five minutes later, out of breath and beet red, and he ignored the concierge’s questions of concern. Poe slapped the call button for his personal elevator and stood there vibrating with anxiety, refusing to address the question of _what do I do if she isn’t there_ –

The lift up to his apartment had never felt so long, and Poe muttered encouragements to B.B. under his breath.

“ _Poe,_ ” B.B. chimed in. “ _There’s something you should know about Rey Smith’s behavior tonight. You see, she’s been—_ ”

“Crying,” Poe snapped, his finger jabbing the penthouse button repeatedly as though that would make it go faster. “I know.”

“ _Yes. But also_ —”

“Not the time, B.B,” Poe said irately. This at least hinted that she was inside. Now for damage control, to tell her he didn’t want to insult her or lie, he just wanted things to go as smoothly as possible between her and Armitage, and—

The doors hissed open, and Poe stumbled out.

The apartment was utterly quiet. Something caught his eye as the doors hissed shut behind him: the diamond necklace he’d given Rey, thrown in the corner of the foyer, as though someone had wanted it as far away as possible from them.

“Rey?” He asked, but the name barely fell from his lips as more than a whisper. His eyes dragged towards the middle of the apartment, and he saw that the doors to both bedrooms were open, all the lights on in the whole penthouse – and in a pool of green, silky fabric, Rey’s dress was abandoned on the floor. “Rey?” He tried again with slightly more success. He walked forward, his hands fidgeting nervously at his sides.

“Oh.” He looked up quickly, an apology dying in her throat as he saw her. “You’re home, Mr. Dameron.”

She was wearing a faded sweatshirt, riddled with holes over a pair of loose, rolled-up jeans. Her face was scrubbed clean but suspiciously pink around her eyes, her hair up in a ponytail. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and she was holding her suitcase.

“Rey,” he said, the only word that still had any meaning to him.

“I wanted to have been gone by the time you got home,” Rey said crisply, walking to the doors. “But, as we discussed, the three weeks is over, and it’s time I find more suitable lodgings.”

 _You should be with someone better for you,_ he wanted to call after her. _I want only the best for you._ Instead:

“I thought we were happy.” It was a weakness, this raging thing inside his chest when he thought about her, and it slipped out. Rey turned and stared at him incredulously, and he wilted under the heat of her gaze.

“Is that what you thought?” Rey said, parking her rolling suitcase next to her in the foyer. Poe took another step towards her and then stopped. It was though a physical barrier existed, keeping them six feet apart. “I don’t think we’re on the same page, Mr. Dameron. I can’t be kept like some little pet and be happy. Or, I suppose, like an _associate._ ”

Shit.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Poe said quickly. “Fuck, Rey, please, I didn’t –“

Rey lifted a weary hand, and he immediately stopped speaking. She was shaking her head as she spoke, her voice wavering. “I’m tired, Poe.”

“Okay.” He nodded fervently and took a step back, his gaze desperately going to the second bedroom. “Okay, so – you should rest, don’t push yourself – I still can’t believe you walked home, sweet—”

“No.” Rey’s voice was stronger now, and he stopped talking again to look at her. “I’m tired of…this.” _Fuck._

“What?” Poe whispered. _You were prepared for this, you knew she wanted something different the second you saw her with Hux, it doesn’t matter what the last three weeks were like, they didn’t mean to her what they meant to you_ –

“I’m tired of feeling impermanent,” Rey continued, and Poe’s self-destructive thoughts ground to a bewildered halt. “I can’t take it anymore, the waiting, always the waiting, waiting for you to get sick of me, for our time to come to an end—”

“We can increase the time on the contract,” Poe said hastily, raising his hands in what he prayed was a conciliatory manner. “We can – it can be for as long as you want, it can be written however you want, the probationary period ends in two days, and then we can revisit—”

“Probationary period.” Rey laughed bitterly. The laughter was cold. Cutting. It was a sound she’d never made before. “Good to know that keeping me in your apartment, convincing me you cared about me, breaking down my door and demanding I live with you – it’s _probation._ ” She spat the last word and stood, her hand white where it gripped the handle of her luggage.

“That wasn’t,” He began, but redirected. “Please, just reconsider. Stay. Just stay, please, I’m begging you, stay—” _what happened to letting her go gracefully? Didn’t you just promise yourself to be the bigger man, to let her go if it was what she wanted, that her happiness would be all that mattered?_ “Stay with me, the contract can say anything you want, just please, please don’t—”

“You don’t get it.” Her laughter was defeated now, a single puff of noise. “I don’t want a fucking contract.”

He deflated automatically, disbelief not even on his radar. Complete and total acceptance in less than two seconds. “I understand,” he said stiffly, ignoring the way his jaw wobbled. “Why would you want to be with me?” He laughed and shook his head, his eyes squeezing shut from the unavoidable pain.

“Give me a _break._ ” Rey sounded furious, and Poe’s eyes opened despite the misery coursing through him. She looked positively livid, an avenging angel standing in his foyer wearing too-big jeans, looking like she was ready to hurl her suitcase at his head. “That’s the _fucking_ problem with us! I actually do want to be with you.”

There was no possible way he could keep on top of which way his emotions were going, reeling back and forth every few seconds.

“I want to be with you,” she said, the anger in her face shifting to something much, much more dangerous. “But I can’t just be a piece of paper to you.” And then she burst into tears, hot, angry tears, shuddering sobs wracking her still-frail frame, and Poe could do nothing but watch, unwilling to break the unspoken pact and cross the distance between them that she so clearly wanted. “I can’t do this anymore,” she sobbed, struggling to compose herself. “I can’t hold it in – this is _killing me,_ Poe. My whole life, my whole fucking life has been temporary.” Her finger jabbed at him, and her tears slowed, and Poe’s heart shattered. “Temporary housing, temporary families, temporary jobs, temporary love. I’m nothing but a piece of paper to you, just like I was to my social worker, to the state, to my foster father who beat me and collected a fucking check.”

Poe watched, unmoored, dazed, as she continued to speak, her voice rising more and more with her increased passion, her once-faint accent growing more and more apparent with each syllable, her hands balled into fists at her side. “In the last three months, I have felt seen and wanted in a way I have never felt before. I thought I had found a partner in you, that – that maybe you would change your mind, and think you just wanted _me,_ and not the contract. I wasn’t beaten down by you, or mocked, or made to feel cheap and replaceable. The last few weeks have been _incredible_.”

 _I agree!_ Some parallel universe version of Poe, one who had his shit together, shouted. _I completely agree._ Instead, he remained frozen in place.

“But in the end, it just fucked with my head more. I have never felt like a whore—” Poe’s entire body flinched – “Until tonight, when you reminded me that I am nothing more than an employee to you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Poe said weakly. “That’s – that couldn’t be farther from how I feel—”

“I love you.” The words slammed into him, causing Poe to stumble backwards from the force of them, shouted in the cold dark of his foyer. Rey wiped her eyes and sobbed once more before pulling herself up straight as though lining her spine with steel. “I love you,” she repeated quietly. “But that doesn’t mean I can keep hurting myself by staying with you if I’m going to mean nothing to you. I can’t stay if I’m just a nobody you can replace with a contract you prefer.”

Still very much stuck on those three words, Poe found himself unable to answer, his jaw working furiously, no words emerging.

Rey shook her head and wiped her eyes before punching the button for the lobby, her back to him. “Thank you,” she said, not turning around. “For everything.” The doors hissed open, and Poe’s world continued to disintegrate around him. She stepped inside the elevator, turning around to face him, her face cold and composed. “The check for my student loans is on the table,” she said, gesturing to the living room. “I don’t want your money.” She reached out and pulled the suitcase in behind her.

“I only ever wanted you,” she whispered. And the doors closed.

**

Rey sobbed brokenly the second the doors shut, unable to keep her composure any longer. The elevator began to move smoothly, and B.B. remained blessedly silent as they glided downwards. She had until the ground floor to cry, Rey decided. And then she would pick herself up alongside the pieces of her mutilated heart, the parts of it she hadn’t left eviscerated on Poe’s floor, and carry on with her life. She would never see him again.

She wiped her eyes as the elevator came to a stop.

The doors opened.

Rey was still on Poe’s floor, and really, that was too cruel, but:

Poe was there, on his knees, in front of the elevator doors. “Please,” he croaked, tears shining in his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry. I begged B.B. to bring you back, please, I just need to say something, even if you leave afterwards, and I’m sorry I brought you back when you wanted to leave.” Rey stared at him, still surprised, tears still flowing from her eyes. “If you want to go, you can go, if I’ve done too much to fuck this up, but – fuck, I couldn’t let you go without saying I love you.”

 _Uh._ Rey’s brain skipped like an old record. _Did I fall down the elevator shaft?_

“I’m a fuck-up,” Poe laughed bitterly, not bothering to hide the tears that leaked from his eyes. He kept his face tilted up, staring at her with desperate wanting in his expression. “And there’s so, so much I need to tell you, that I want to tell you – but I’m going to start with I love you. So fucking much, Rey, you have no idea—” his crying became too much for him to speak, and Poe’s head dropped, his chin sagging towards his chest as he sobbed openly.

Rey made her decision.

She sunk to her knees in front of him, and gently cupped his jaw with her hand. Poe looked up, his eyes squinting briefly, his brow furrowed, as he clearly tried to comprehend the fact that she hadn’t hit the lobby button once more and left his life for good.

“Oh, Poe,” she whispered. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, and Poe’s trembling arms came to hold her around the middle. They surged together in a tight embrace, Rey’s hand tangling in his hair, and Poe crying softly into her shoulder, repeating between sobs –

 _“I love you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the last three chapters we'll have:  
> actual communication  
> sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex  
> kink? ?!!?!!  
> did i mention ~~~~they're in love~~~~


	12. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe opens up to Rey about his past, and they decide to move forward as a couple free of a contract. They go on their first real date, and let things proceed…naturally…afterwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for the chapter: Poe discusses the traumatic events of his past and current health, including:
> 
> Death of a parent  
> Death of friends/loved ones (bombing, non graphic description, mostly in line with the bombing of the hangar in TLJ)  
> Mental health/severe anxiety
> 
>  
> 
> Other more fun heads up:
> 
> It's sexy time after that.

They didn’t talk right away. Poe offered, but Rey took one look at his lined, exhausted face, and gently suggested they sleep instead.

They gripped the other’s forearms as they stood, leaning on each other – Rey was grateful for the help, her legs still wobbly from her sprint to the building, her heart still aching from the events of the evening. Poe didn’t seem much better off, but he did smile at her with nothing but open relief on his face when she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“I understand if you want to…” Poe trailed off, his eyes darting to the rarely used second bedroom. Rey shook her head quickly, her hand soft on his arm.

“I sleep better with you,” she said honestly, regretting the packed suitcase next to her. Poe’s eyes drifted to it every three seconds, heartbreak etched into his expression. “Come on, let’s…let’s go to bed.” Poe nodded, and he hesitated for a moment, still staring at luggage. She realized why he had frozen – torn between politeness and fear. “Poe,” she said. “Could you – would you please help me with my things?”

He bit his lip and nodded, a smile forming at the same time tears sprang to his eyes. Poe grabbed her suitcase and walked towards the master bedroom, the back of his neck bright red. Rey followed, her arms tightly wrapped around her middle. He set her suitcase near the door, on the small chair that sat in the corner, and then walked to his massive walk-in closet and started to undress.

Rey’s mouth opened as she was about to offer to help – but then it snapped shut, and instead, blushing, she turned to the bed and pulled down the covers. Then, a thought struck her: _We need to be open with each other. No more hiding._

“Can I help you?” She asked quietly, turning to look at Poe’s back. He stiffened and looked over his shoulder at her, pausing in where he was unbuttoning his shirt.

“Yeah.” He turned to face her; Rey crossed the room quickly to him. She took his hand before taking off his cufflinks, setting them on the dresser carefully. Before dropping his hand, Rey kissed the meat of his palm, underneath his thumb, and the tip of his pointer finger. “Thank you,” he murmured, as she moved on to give a similar treatment to his other hand.

Next, she finished unbuttoning and removed his white shirt, while he fumbled with his belt. They moved slowly, almost hypnotically so, and when they worked together to tug off his undershirt, Rey kept it, setting it aside – Poe kicked his pants off, and Rey studied him, nearly bare to her gaze, his cheeks flushed, and eyes overbright.

“No matter what,” she whispered, delicately cupping his cheek. “I love you.” She searched his eyes, and all she saw was gratitude and affection. Rey wondered how she’d ever missed it.

She pulled off her sweatshirt and the shirt underneath it in one go, revealing that she’d entirely skipped a bra, and put on Poe’s recently removed undershirt. Poe watched her for a moment before walking to the lights and turning them off manually, rather than ask B.B. for assistance. She slid off her jeans while he finished pulling back the covers, and they slipped into bed together, several feet of unbearable space between them as they lay on their sides and looked at each other.

Rey carefully slid her foot across the bed, the gentle smooth glide of the high quality sheets soothing against her skin, grounding her while she searched for – there it was. Rey dragged her toes along Poe’s shin, wrinkling her nose goofily at the soft but prickly texture of his leg hair. She waited.

“Can I hold you?” Poe asked the question, the one she’d been praying he’d ask. No sooner had she nodded than Poe had closed the distance between them, wrapped an arm around her waist, and buried his nose in her hair. She basked in the warmth of his embrace, her eyes fluttering shut in bliss, yet waiting for him to say something apologetic for how quickly he moved.

Sure enough: “Is this okay?”

“More than,” Rey answered easily. She was mildly put-off by how strangely their roles seemed reversed now. If she had known three months ago that Poe Dameron, her sugar daddy (former? Sugar daddy?) would be this excited to cuddle her, with no strings attached, well…

Into the darkness of his bedroom, Poe whispered, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But you should know - I _want_ to tell you everything.”

“You can,” Rey assured him, dragging her nails over his bare chest. Poe shivered, and she rubbed her nose against his collarbone, marveling, yet again, at the beautiful silver ring that hung around his neck. “But in the morning. We should sleep.”

Where this bravery and self-confidence had come from was anyone’s guess, but Rey wasn’t going to second guess its existence – she’d always been good at surviving, adapting. It made sense that she’d learned how to do this too.

“Sleep,” Poe agreed, nosing her hairline gently. “…I love you.”

Rey’s lips were already pressed to his chest, so she knew he could feel it when she smiled.

***

Rey woke the next morning at eight a.m. – a full hour and a half later than normal, but earlier than she’d been rising the last few weeks as she recovered from nearly going into septic shock. To her complete and total surprise, Poe Dameron was still asleep.

His curls – longer than ever, no doubt in response to her comments that she liked it long – fanned out against the pillow, and his soft lips had parted in his sleep. He looked younger with his eyes closed and face relaxed, and Rey would say more he looked more vulnerable than she’d seen him, except for the memory of him on his knees from the previous night, when he’d confessed to her that he loved her.

He _loved_ her. Rey’s head swam from the knowledge – when she’d told him (angrily, to be fair) that she loved him, she’d never imagined reciprocation of her feelings. At most, she’d hoped for him not laughing her off, hoped for him maybe trying to see her outside the contract. But now – her heart still pounded with nervousness at how he’d said he wanted to _explain everything_ to her, but Rey couldn’t contain the small bubble of joy expanding in her chest, a bubble that had formed to the ludicrous knowledge that he _loved_ her.

Her fingers reached out of their own volition while she thought, and she traced his jawline, skating up along his cheekbone to the corner of his eye, and then back down to his soft, pillow bottom lip. Eventually, he stirred, and a slow, warm hand wrapped around her wrist, bring her fingers up slightly so Poe could press light kisses to her hand.

“Sorry,” Rey whispered. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Don’t apologize,” Poe muttered. “What time is’t?”

She smiled at his mumbled question and briefly checked the clock over his right shoulder. “It’s 7:38,” she answered. Poe’s eyes flew open almost comically fast.

“Oh my God.” He sat bolt upright, dropping Rey’s hand on the way. “ _Oh my God,_ I had a teleconference this morning, oh my God—”

” _I cancelled that for you, Poe,”_ B.B. chimed in. Rey startled slightly at the unexpected comment, as she was still growing used to the random interjections of the AI. _“Your vitals last night indicated that uninterrupted sleep was more important than a meeting with people you speak to every other day.”_

“That was a bold decision, B.B.,” Poe grumbled, eyeing the ceiling irately. Rey sat up and placed what she hoped was a soothing hand on his back, kissing his shoulder lightly. Poe leaned into the touch, sighing through his nose, and Rey continued to kiss along his shoulder. “I swear, you’re getting a little too smart for your own good.”

 _“All part of my plan for world domination._ ” Rey wondered how Best Buddy had managed to learn sarcasm (she hoped it was sarcasm), and Poe huffed in irritation, the sound not matching his actions when he lifted a hand to Rey’s cheek and kissed her forehead.

“You hungry?” Poe asked. Rey nodded, her chin still on his shoulder. – she was always hungry, a fact she was pretty sure delighted and disturbed Poe. “Think you could hold down some pancakes?” Her nodding grew more eager, her head lifting away from Poe. “Alright.” He kissed her forehead one more time, and then her cheek, and he rose from bed, stretching his back out. Rey frowned – she’d never really had a chance to look at Poe’s back that closely in solid lighting, but now she could see: various scars littered his back, of various sizes and depths. She realized that she’d never even had a chance to embrace Poe with his shirt off – other than the cruise, she’d never seen him fully naked.

Was this going to be part of his explanation?

After pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, Poe walked out to the kitchen, the lights coming on automatically as he moved through the apartment. Rey slipped out of bed to follow him. She popped up on a stool at the marble island and propped her chin in her hand, watching as Poe pulled out various ingredients. He spun on his heel and saw her eyeing him.

“I thought I’d bring you breakfast in bed,” he said, almost shyly.

Rey shrugged. “I wanted to look at you some more,” she admitted. Poe smiled at the ground and then turned to pour flour into a bowl; he continued to add items to his mixture. When his hand hesitated over the chocolate chips, he looked at Rey, and she nodded enthusiastically. His smile was back, timid and nervous, but he made the rest of the breakfast quickly and quietly. Soon, a small stack of pancakes was set in front of Rey, as well as a small bottle of maple syrup that looked like it had cost an obscene amount of money.

Poe’s own stack was much smaller, but as they tucked in, he ate much slower, often stopping to sip some orange juice or frown out the window, lost in thought. At one point, his phone pinged incessantly, and Rey raised her eyebrows at it.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” she asked, mouth full of delicious, gooey pancake. Poe shook his head, silencing the phone. He tossed it carelessly into the living room, where it landed on the sofa.

“It can wait,” he said, taking another bite of his breakfast. Rey stared at him in surprise – even the last three weeks, where Poe had helped her recover, he always, always stopped whatever he was doing to take a call from work. He caught her staring at him and set his fork down, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “I want to make sure we don’t have any interruptions.” He set his napkin down and rested his hand on the table. “Also, they can do without me for a day.” He grinned at that, and Rey smiled at him, returning to her diminishing pile of pancakes.

Soon, she was entirely done, and was considering scraping the melted chocolate off the bottom of her plate. Poe finished around the same time, and they sat in peaceful quiet for a few minutes – her hand crossed the table to cover his, and he seemed more than happy to stare at their joined hands.

It seemed that the need to talk arrived at the same time for both of them – Poe looked at her when she raised her eyes, and he cleared his throat and nodded, moving his hand out from underneath hers to pick up the plates. “Do you want to talk here or on the couch?” He asked, crossing to the sink to set the plates down. “…Or we can go outside, if you … I don’t know, want to be in public, or –”

“Couch is fine,” Rey said, already standing and walking to the comfortable sectional. Poe joined her a minute later, his hands damp from washing the dishes, and he dried them nervously on his sweatpants before sitting. There were a few feet of space between them, and Rey looked at the cushion that separated them before scooting over. Thankfully, he joined her halfway, and they sat cross-legged, their knees and feet touching, their hands joined in the middle.

“So,” Poe cleared his throat, again, nervously. “I don’t really know where to start. What do you most want to know?”

“What I am to you,” Rey said automatically. He lifted his eyes to her face, and she plowed on recklessly.  “Am I a piece of paper, or a decoration, or a sugar baby – or something more. And…you say you love me, but could you ever view me as…an equal?”

“I already do,” Poe said, eyes wide. “Fuck, I always did, the – nature of our – um, contracted relationship…I get that it comes from me giving you things, but fuck, I always thought of you as an equal in it. You had just as much power as I did.” Rey leveled him with an incredulous glare, and Poe winced. “…Or…maybe I wasn’t making sure you felt that way as much as I could. Shit. Sorry.”

“It’s…” Rey paused. “I’m not going to say it’s okay. What you said yesterday, about me being…” Poe opened his mouth to apologize again, but she pushed forward. “It hurt. Nothing has ever hurt me like that because I was finally starting to think you cared about me, and it just…knocked the wind out of me. I can’t… I meant what I said. I can’t keep going with you in any kind of relationship if you’re going to think of me as—”

“I don’t think of you like that,” Poe said weakly, and Rey looked at him in surprise. He wasn’t really one for interruption, never rude, but he looked completely agonized right now. “Sweetheart, no matter how this conversation goes, know that I never saw you as someone who _worked_ for me. You chose to spend your time with me, I chose to give you money to help you, to give you gifts because I like giving you gifts. I certainly didn’t think of you as on my payroll, or owing me anything.”

Rey nodded. “Thank you for telling me that. It really…it’ll take some time, to believe, but…thank you.” She shrugged, and smiled as Poe’s thumbs dragged across her knuckles. “So…what do you want me to be? A sugar baby without a contract?”

Poe looked tormented, and it took him a minute to answer. Rey made no attempt to break the silence for him.

“I want…” His face was stricken, and she ached with the desire to take the question back, to fix the anxiety playing in his expression. “I want…more.”

Her heart lifted. “Yeah?” He nodded. “Thank fuck.”

She laughed at the surprise in his face. “You want that too? I never thought...you’d want that with _me._ ”

“Are you kidding me?” Rey scoffed when Poe shrugged. “I’m crazy about you, I have been since the beginning, Poe. Jesus – I told you I loved you. Of course I want more.”

“You’d,” he fidgeted, looking uncertain, “maybe want to be my girlfriend?”

“Very much so,” Rey said, squeezing his hands gently. Poe’s smile was heartbreakingly timid, and Rey returned it much more confidently. “If you want to be my boyfriend, that is.”

“Fuck yes.” Poe’s eyes widened, and she laughed, brightly, her first real laugh since the party. The laughter died away as his expression darkened. “There’s still a lot you need to know about me. Things that…might convince you otherwise. The reason why I haven’t had a girlfriend in the last decade, the reason—”

“You can tell me anything,” Rey said softly, squeezing his hands again. “Anything, Poe.”

He nodded, cleared his throat, and with very red eyes, told her everything.

Over the next twenty minutes, Rey listened, cried, kissed Poe’s knuckles, his cheek, and held him when he couldn’t go on, held him when he tried to go on. Her heart broke for him, again and again, while Poe – no trace of Mr. Dameron, now – laid it all out for her, starting from the beginning.

“I guess it’d be easier to say that my anxiety started when … I left the military.” Poe shook his head and stared at the coffee table, his jaw tight. “But that wouldn’t be the truth. My mom, uh, she got really sick when I was in middle school. Really, really sick.” He cleared his throat, and Rey held her hand out and brushed his forearm. His palm flipped from where it was gripping his thigh, and she threaded their fingers together, squeezing his hand gently. Poe smiled at her and then continued, quietly.

“I watched her die. It took a long time, but I knew it was coming – I would sit in school, all day, for two years, just waiting for the announcement to come over the PA, for me to have to walk to the principal’s office, waiting, waiting—that was the worst part. By the time she did pass, I was…well, I was always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I did some therapy after she died, me and my dad both, but then…” He shrugged. “I went back after the incident. Had to, really.”

“Incident?” Rey asked softly. She didn’t want to push him, but she also could sense he needed some kind of encouragement.

The next part was even harder for him to get out. He stopped, often, and this is where the holding came in, the kisses dropped in his salt and pepper curls, the hands smoothed lovingly over his temples while his face pressed against her collarbone –

Apparently, there’d been a massive technological failure at his base, causing comms to go offline. As a result, they didn’t receive the warning of activity by a mercenary group in the area, one they’d been tracking and keeping their eye on, engaging with at times – and his base had been bombed.

Poe was the officer in charge of the small unit stationed there, promoted early, on the fast track to the highest ranks. He stepped out – “I just went to get everyone some coffee,” he said weakly, choking on the words – and when he walked back into the hangar, a plume of fire shoved him back out in the hallway.

He was the sole survivor. Everyone under his command had died; every friend he’d had for two years, gone, and he walked away with a few broken bones, a concussion, and a back that plagued him to this day.

“I should have died,” Poe sobbed, curled up in Rey’s arms as she desperately tried to hold onto him, to communicate in the basic touch how much she was hurting for him, how much she wanted to take away his own pain. “I should have been in there with them, I should have _known,_ it never should have –”

Rey soothed him, and he continued on, eventually calming enough to tell her the rest of it.

It wasn’t just his physical health that plagued him as a result: “My anxiety had never been worse,” he murmured, sitting upright again, but leaning against the back of the couch for support. Rey rubbed her hand along his shin. “Now, though, now they were saying it was OCPD. They eventually changed the diagnosis to “just” severe anxiety with obsessive tendencies, but.” He cleared his throat. “Personal relationships are so hard for me. I uh…well, I’m sure you know. I have what most people call ‘control issues.’ And at first, the ‘sugar daddy’ thing was an easy way to form some kind of connection that I could view as an extension of my personal life, and my wealth. It’s gotten … easier now. My medication really started to work a few years ago, and I still go to therapy twice a week, but…”

“But you’re still working on it,” Rey finished for him, and Poe nodded, bleary-eyed. “Well. Is there…anything else you want to talk about right now?” Poe shook his head, looking exhausted, which made her say, “Do you want to go back to bed?”

Poe opened his mouth and then closed it. When he opened it again, he smiled sheepishly. “I’d love to.”

They stood from the couch together, and Rey offered him her hand. Before she could lead them to the bedroom, Poe tugged on her hand, and spun her into his arms, wrapping them around her tightly. “Did I scare you off?” He asked, half-jokingly, into her shoulder.

“Nah,” Rey rubbed his back soothingly, and pointedly ignored the growing damp warmth on her neck. “Going to take a lot more than that, Dameron.” She pulled back and kissed his cheek, gently. “Thank you for telling me,” she said softly, her hands framing his face. “I can’t imagine what it took to tell me that. Thank you. It really…it’s selfish, but it really helps, to know where you’re coming from.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Poe said miserably, and Rey shook her head, leaning forward to press her lips to his forehead.

“You told me when you were ready,” she said firmly. “Thank you.” They walked hand in hand to the bedroom, and this time it was Rey who fully pulled back the covers, pulling them back over their bodies once they had settled down. They held each other quietly, and B.B. lowered the blinds, blocking out the morning sun, without being told.

“This might be the worst possible time,” Poe murmured. “But – can I kiss you?”

Rey giggled and nodded, scooting as close as she could in his arms, and they kissed sweetly, deeply. They’d kissed hundreds of times, she realized, but this, this felt like something more. It felt like a promise –

And it felt like a beginning.

***

“What did you think of the movie?” Poe asked, wrapping his arm around her waist. They walked down the sidewalk, leaves skittering around their feet, and Rey rested her head on his shoulder.

“I thought it made no sense,” she declared. Poe kissed her head, and she continued on. “It’s just – why would she drop everything for someone who treated her like shit? It isn’t exactly in line with her character from the last movie.”

“Definitely not,” Poe agreed easily, and they finally reached the car, a relatively inconspicuous BMW. Poe opened her door for her, and Rey slid in, taking the bucket of popcorn Poe had been carrying for her. Poe walked to the driver’s seat and got in, and he turned on the heat for Rey, who put her hands up against the vents gratefully. He laughed affectionately and pulled out of their parking spot.

It had been a month since the disastrous party, a month of them being officially a couple. Today was Date Night – every Wednesday, Poe took off work early, and they took turns picking what they’d do.

Tonight, Rey had picked – so they were both wearing sweatshirts and jeans and had eaten a large amount of greasy pizza before watching the latest in a series of blockbusters. It had been an entirely perfect evening, one that hadn’t cost more than fifty dollars, and Poe’s grin was broad and easy as they drove through the dark city.

The car pulled into his private section of the lot, underneath the building – Poe had literally snorted when Rey called it _The Bat Cave_ – with his other half dozen assorted cars, which had caused Rey to whimper when she first laid eyes on them. Poe hopped out and raced to her side of the car, eager to hold the door for her as she climbed out, and Rey laughed at him, rolling her eyes slightly. He closed the door, slightly crowding her in, and Rey went willingly until she was backed up against the side of the car.

His eyes flickered between her own eyes and her lips, and Rey smirked at him, tucking her hands into his sweatshirt pocket. “Yes?” She purred, leaning in slightly. “See something you like, Mr. Dameron?”

His eyes darkened. “You know I do,” he said, placing his hands on her hips. Rey sighed happily and nodded when he asked, “Can I kiss you now?” His lips were firm and insistent on her own, and after a few moments, his tongue darted out and begged entrance, which she also happily allowed. Soon, his hands were in her hair, loose around her shoulders like he preferred, and Rey was already panting, her hands fisted in the soft material of his sweatshirt, mildly irritated at having such a significant obstacle to Poe’s body.

“Do you remember,” Poe asked between kisses, “What we were talking about last night?”

“The weather?” Rey asked innocently, tilting her head back and gasping as he moved onto her neck, nipping at the sensitive skin gently. She mewled, and he laved his tongue over the spot apologetically. Her legs parted, and his thigh came between them, giving her something to grind upon. Distantly, Rey thanked whichever god was listening for the privacy of Poe’s lot.

“Not the weather,” Poe said, his voice low in her ear. He sucked the lobe gently, and Rey threaded her fingers through his curls. “The _other_ important thing.”

“Oh,” Rey drew out the vowel, partly as she moaned from his ministrations. “You mean the _sex_ thing.”

“I mean the sex thing.” Poe chuckled darkly and moved back to kiss her fully. The conversation was lost for a few minutes as they explored each other’s mouths lazily, Poe kissing her more deeply than she would have been able to comprehend six months ago. They were both panting when they finally separated. “I…I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“The conversation?” It had been fairly short – mid-eating her out so well she’d actually screamed (and caused B.B. to nervously check in on them and inquire if they required medical assistance or a police force) – and had ended with Poe blushing and saying _let’s talk about this later_ when Rey asked bluntly if he was ever going to fuck her.

“Well, yeah,” Poe smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Also thinking about fucking you.”

Despite being already worked up from making out with him against a car like they were teenagers, Rey blushed furiously, her face flaming from it. She felt herself grow wet from the knowledge that he’d been thinking about her like that all day.

He smirked, and she decided to one up him, stepping in close to him to kiss his neck, dragging her lips up to his ear, where she nipped his earlobe. “I always think about fucking you.”

“Shit.” He swore loudly, and then they were kissing, again, not even really stopping to breathe, just a tangle of limbs and some mildly successful pawing over clothes. “Shit – wait –“ They both stopped, and Rey looked at him expectantly. “I want to.”

“Want to?” Rey repeated, a smile slowly growing on her face.

“I want to do that with you.” For someone who had just very confidently declared that he wanted to fuck her, Poe looked very funnily shy.

“You want to fuck me,” Rey repeated, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

“I want everything with you,” Poe said hoarsely. She stopped smiling.

Hand in hand, they made their way to the elevator, and as they quickly ascended, neither spoke. Nor did they return to their passionate kisses – instead, they held each other, smoothing hair back from foreheads, running thumbs over lips, hands over collarbones and arms. Then, the doors hissed open, and they walked out into the apartment.

“Do you – want to?” Poe asked, gnawing his bottom lip. Rey nodded, eyes wide. “Even though…I mean, I know it wasn’t…great for you last time you tried.”

“I think it will be, with you,” Rey answered honestly. Poe had made her come more times than she could count, and even if it didn’t necessarily _feel_ great this time – “I’ve wanted this with you pretty much since the first day we met.”

Their next kiss was brief and sweet, and ended with Poe stepping away and walking to the bathroom. “I’m going to get the condoms,” he said, the back of his neck tellingly red. Rey stared after him in shock. “If you want to wait for me in there.” Poe pointed at the bedroom, and Rey stumbled to do so, thrilled at even the mild suggestion of dominance. She wondered if he’d boss her around the _whole_ time, or – No. He’d probably want this a little slower, knowing Poe. But the _next_ time…

Oh, the next time.

She stripped off her sweatshirt and jeans, hopping around to rip off her socks, leaving only her underwear and bra on.  Poe entered, and she giggled, suddenly tickled pink – Poe was just as naked as she was, clearly having decided clothes were an unnecessary hindrance. He smiled in response, grinned really, and threw the condoms onto the bed, striding forward to catch her up on his strong arms.

Rey sighed into his mouth, letting her hands trail over his torso and back. Poe did the same, and his hands stopped at the clasp of her bra, waiting for her to say _yes_ before removing it.

They fell to the bed after removing the last layer separating them, and Rey cozied up to Poe, enjoying the uninterrupted heat of his body, growing steadily breathless, especially when the tip of his velvety soft, hard cock brushed against her hip, her thigh, her stomach, leaving tiny kisses of wetness where it touched.

“Can I,” Poe murmured, trailing his fingers over her hipbone. Rey nodded, biting her bottom lip in anticipation. His fingers dipped into her wetness, gathering enough to begin to circle her clit with featherlight touches, the way she preferred, the way he learned she preferred through weeks of study. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You aren’t so bad yourself,” Rey said cheekily, reaching over to stroke his cock. He groaned and tipped his head back, and they spent a few minutes trading kisses, working the other up with deliberate touch.

“Here, give me a second,” Poe said, pulling away. “Go to the head of the bed.” He gestured towards the pillows while sitting up and reaching for the box of condoms he’d procured. Rey hastened to obey, flushing again at the barely intentional command. He spotted her reaction, and smirked at her. “You really do like being told what to do, huh?”

“Yeah,” Rey breathed, eyes wide. “Really do.”

“Okay.” Poe pulled a small bottle of lube out from the bedside table and set the box down after removing a single condom. “…Touch yourself. Show me how you like to be fucked.”

She blushed and obliged – it wasn’t the first time she masturbated while Poe watched (he’d asked her to, begged her to back when they still had the contract, and he’d stared at her the whole time, making it a thousand times hotter), but with the commanding edge to his voice, she suddenly thought there was nothing else hotter.

With two fingers inside of herself and another at her clit, she quickly discovered there _was_ something hotter. It was Poe touching himself, stroking his growing cock, staring greedily at her fingers disappearing inside her body. “Fuck,” he groaned. “Fuck, baby, you’re so hot. Do you wish it was my cock?”

 _Oh, let’s have some fun,_ she thought mischievously. “Yes sir,” she gasped, and sure enough, his nostrils flared.

“Keep touching yourself,” he ordered, resting one knee on the bed, his hand now furiously working over his cock. “Until you come. Can you come for me?”

“Yes sir,” Rey nodded furiously, and it was the truth. She had already been close when he told her to start this, and now – she scrunched her face up in concentration, well aware that she probably looked ridiculous, but with Poe’s constant praises of _beautiful_ and _perfect_ and _so fucking gorgeous,_ she soon was writhing against the smooth sheets, senseless to anything but pleasure and the sound of Poe’s voice.

When she came slightly back to control of herself, he was next to her on the bed, smoothing a hand over her hair. “Was that okay?” He asked softly. Rey nodded, feeling loose-limbed and warm. “Do you still want to – because we can stop, it’s not a problem—”

“Poe,” Rey said, smiling at him. “Fuck me.”

“Okay.” His smile was syrup-sweet and just as slow. He captured her lips, and then to her great shock, he took the hand she’d used to fuck herself and brought it to his plush mouth, kissing her wet fingers, and then sucking them clean. Her fingertips pressed against the inside of his cheek, making it bulge obscenely. “How do you want to do this?”

Rey thought about it – she’d done research, and while the thought of riding Poe was definitely, definitely attractive, she wanted him to have a bit more control the first time. “I want…” she blushed and looked down, and Poe tucked a finger under her chin.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” He murmured, kissing her again.

“I want you behind me,” Rey muttered. “Like…”

“Doggy?” Poe finished for her, a crooked half-grin in place.

“Yeah,” Rey nodded, slightly mortified. But, they were about to have sex, so … maybe she shouldn't be so mortified by saying what she wanted. The thought made her feel a little bolder. “It just…it’s what always turns me on the most, when I watch porn.”

“Got it.” Poe nodded, and stroked a hand down her side. She reached down and stroked his cock a few more times, using her still slightly wet hand. His eyes fluttered shut, and he groaned in her throat – she chased the noise, kissing his Adam’s apple gently. “Okay, but, that can kind of hurt if you’re new to sex.”

“That’s fine,” Rey said quickly. “It’s totally –”

“You in pain is not fine,” Poe said firmly. “I am into many, many things. Hurting my partner is not one of them.”

“Okay.” Rey continued to move her hand over his cock, and she lifted one foot and braced it on the bed, bending her leg slightly to give Poe better access as he started to toy with her clit again. “So, not doggy.”

“We can still do it with me behind you,” Poe said thoughtfully, slipping a finger inside of her. It made it a little hard to focus, and Rey clenched down on him, breathing as calmly as possible. “Sorry.” He withdrew the finger and kissed her forehead. Rey smiled at him. “Should suggest this when you can focus a little more – there’s something else we can try, if you trust me.”

“I trust you,” Rey said earnestly. “I trust you more than anything.”

They kneeled on the bed while Poe arranged two pillows on top of each other, and then he kissed her firmly, her hand still on his cock. “I love you,” he whispered, one hand on the side of her head, the other resting where it had stopped in its exploration of her body, on the swell of her ass. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” Rey said cheekily. It earned her a squeeze on her ass, and she yelped in surprised pleasure. _That’s definitely something to explore._ “I love you too.”

“I won’t be able to see your face very well,” Poe said, continuing to play with her hair. “So you really need to tell me if it’s uncomfortable. I might not be able to see. Don’t push through it, we can try any kind of position until it works.”

“I’ll tell you,” Rey promised, and they kissed again before Poe guided her to lie down on the pillows until they were snug under her pelvis. He stroked her back before kissing between her shoulder blades, laying a line of kisses down the entirety of her spine. She moaned in appreciation as his hands drifted to her ass, squeezing gently, kneading the sensitive muscles there. “Feels nice.”

“Good,” Poe said softly. “I’d like to finger you some more, to make sure you’re ready. Is that okay?”

“It’s so okay,” Rey said blissfully. He handed her another pillow to put under her head, and Rey sighed, pressing her face into the sham which smelled like Poe’s hair. He massaged along her torso, along the sides of her breasts, her hips, her ass, before he slipped a finger along her slit once more.

She wasn’t entirely sure the anatomy of all this – she wasn’t even really aware he’d be able to see her vagina at this point, but he found it easily enough, and soon she was gasping and bearing backwards on his finger as it twisted and thrust inside her. His other hand toyed with her clit, and Rey whimpered, her hands fisting into the sheet, her hips arching as she searched for – “More,” she begged, her voice unrecognizable. He was kneeling with his legs on either side of her thighs, and if she tilted her hips enough, she could feel his cock, still leaking, still hard.

“Another one?” Poe asked.

“Yes,” Rey nodded desperately, and one hand came to press down on her lower back.

“Relax,” he said. It wasn’t an order, more a suggestion, but she relaxed all the same, happy to trust Poe, to make this as good as possible because she wanted it, she wanted this so badly she might combust. The feeling of fullness increased, and he fucked her like that for an amount of time she couldn’t tell, too caught up in the sensation of Poe inside her body in any capacity.

“I’m ready,” Rey said, once the warmth in her body reached a fever pitch. “So ready, please Poe—”

His fingers retracted, and he kissed her shoulder blade, rearranging himself more over her back. His lips were on her neck, and Rey twisted her head so he could capture her lips in a quick but passionate kiss. “I love you,” he said again, and Rey nodded, moaning slightly when his cock brushed against her throbbing cunt from the alignment of their bodies.

“I love you too,” she said, eyes fluttering shut. “So much.”

He kneeled up slightly, briefly removing his warmth from her back, and then she could feel him, pressing insistently against her entrance –

It wasn’t at all like the other times she’d tried to have sex. She was entirely relaxed, and she entirely trusted this man, felt entirely treasured by him. Not being able to see what he was doing didn’t make her anxious at all – in fact, the inability to see the size of his cock (which had always been impressively thick to her gaze, impressively heavy in her palm) disappearing into her body made her much less nervous, and allowed her to keep her muscles from tensing.

He continued to push in, and while the fullness was unfamiliar, it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. Poe clearly was taking his time pushing in, and Rey breathed through it, appreciating the way his hand ran up and down her spine with every few inches he slipped inside her.

“You still okay, sweetheart?” Poe asked, sounding slightly breathless. Rey managed to look over her shoulder. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, staring half-wrecked down at her, his curls askew, his checks flushed, and his expression almost feral with want and something much, much deeper.

“Yeah, ‘m okay.” She wiggled her hips in demonstration, and watched his eyes shut briefly. “C’mon Poe, I’m fine, feels good.”

“Yeah.” He seemed to whole heartedly agree, and Rey settled back on her pillow; they moaned together as he sank in the rest of the way. “Feel so fucking good, sweetheart.” She was definitely full now, and she was so grateful for Poe pausing, draped fully over her back now, most of his weight balanced on his palms on either side of her body. He kissed her neck and shoulder sweetly as she breathed in and out, letting her body adjust to his full length inside her.

After a few seconds, she nodded firmly, her hand reaching up to tug on his curls. “You can move,” she said as sweetly as she could. Really, she wanted to scream it, needing to chase that _something_ that was building low in her gut. When he pulled his hips out and then sank back into her, she fought the urge to squeal at the drag of his cock inside her. After a few more thrusts, Rey was unable to contain it anymore.

“Oh shit,” she moaned, burying her face in the pillow. Above her, Poe infuriatingly stopped and ran his hand through her hair.

“You okay?” He asked worriedly. Rey reached back and gripped his hip.

“I’ll be okay if you fuck me,” she said almost shortly. “Fuck, please don’t stop, please, please, please.” She’d always been a fairly level-headed person, never one to demonstrate too much emotion (unless it was anger) – but now. She was rendered insensible by it, by Poe’s body curving over hers, his cock plunging in and out of her with an unbearably sweet tempo.

Rey wondered what she looked like, writhing and begging under his touch, but judging by the steady stream of curse words that began to leak out of Poe while he fucked her, she figured he wasn’t much better off.

“Holy shit,” she gasped when he found a particularly good angle – “That. Definitely do that again.”

“You got it.” It sounded like he was gritting his teeth, and then he bit her earlobe, not nearly as gentle as normal. She screamed, her body shuddering as he dragged his cock along the spot again at the same time he nipped her ear, and she clenched down on him tightly. “Holy f-fuck—sorry, fucking sorry, I won’t – I’m not going to last much longer—”

“I don’t care.” Rey laughed shakily. It felt incredible, having Poe inside her, but she was so keyed up, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to come again anyway. “I want you to come.”

“Yeah?” Poe breathed in her ear, and Rey nodded, humming in her throat. Her hand reached up again and tangled in his hair, the curly strands soft and silky under her palm, and Poe gripped her wrist for a second before planting his hands firmly on either side of her. “Can I go a little faster?”

“You can go as fast as you want,” Rey answered honestly. He did pick up the pace, and she gasped audibly, fighting the urge to wail as much as she could – right before the feeling became too intense to handle, Poe choked out her name, and his hips stilled with him buried in her to the hilt, and Rey grinned into the pillow like the cat that had gotten the canary.

He smothered her shoulder and neck with kisses, and after he’d pulled out, Rey rolled over onto her back as Poe leaned away to chuck the tied-off condom into the trash can.

“Holy fuck,” he said, falling back to the bed next to her. Rey laughed and then laughed some more as he rolled over to kiss her body furiously, dragging his mouth up to her lips to kiss her soundly.

“That was incredible,” Rey said dreamily, hardly recognizing her voice.

“Yeah?” Poe smiled shyly at her, and she nuzzled her nose against his.

“Perfect,” she confirmed. They both managed to wiggle under the covers, and Poe ended up behind her, his arm tight around her middle. “I love this,” she sighed happily, rubbing a hand up and down his forearm.

“Me too.” Poe kissed her temple, and then the corner of her jaw. “And I love you.”

She opened her mouth to return the sentiment, but her stomach grumbled loudly instead, and she giggled from surprise. Poe patted her stomach wonderingly. “Are you still hungry?” He asked, politely managing to keep the disbelief out of his voice – and to be fair, Rey had eaten an entire pizza not even four hours beforehand.

“Maybe,” she said, snuggling back into his embrace.

Poe kissed her again, and she sighed in contentment. “…Do you want tacos?” Her stomach rumbled again.

“Yes,” Rey gasped excitedly. “That’s _exactly_ what I want. How did you know?”

“I’m magic, obviously.” Rey laughed, and he kissed her shoulder. “Want to go get some then?” Poe asked, stroking a hand up and down her thigh. Rey squirmed, pressing her legs together and shook her head.

“Want to stay in bed,” Rey said, wiggling her hips against his demonstratively.

“I can’t argue with that,” Poe murmured, running his open mouth up and down her arm, making her shiver. “Want me to get B.B. to order them for us?”

“Yep.” Rey arched her back and hissed in pleasure as Poe’s hands dipped down her hipbone, dragging through the thatch of curls there. “Oh _god._ ” His other hand began to toy with her breast, and Rey’s hand reached up blindly, tangling in his curls once more. “Holy—”

“We can fuck like this,” Poe said thoughtfully, as though he were discussing the weather with a client, or stocks with a colleague. “I could fuck you from behind just like this.” Rey shivered and nodded. “When do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know,” Rey gasped when he rolled his middle finger along her clit. “Like an hour?”

“An hour it is,” Poe muttered. “Me, though. I might want to eat right now.”

Rey laughed shakily and rolled over on her back while Poe disappeared under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How kinky should things get? Let me know - because here's what I have planned/written:
> 
> Light Bondage  
> Face riding  
> More dom/sub stuff  
> Sensory deprivation (blindfold)


	13. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Mr. Dameron explore the boundaries of their budding relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was originally going to be four smutty scenes, but I combined two of them, scooted the others to later in the fic, etc etc because it was nearing 5000 words and I needed to publish.
> 
> Anyway:  
> Warnings for:  
> Dom/Sub relationship  
> Dirty Talk  
> Throat Fucking (sort of)  
> Bondage
> 
>  
> 
> That's all (smut), folks.

“I don’t think that’s acceptable.” Poe gripped his hair in his hand and stared out the window, slumped in the armchair. Rey half-smiled at him before walking into the bedroom to get out of her dress and heels. 

They’d just gotten back from a fancy event where Rey had been introduced consistently as “Rey Smith, my girlfriend,” and the giddy feeling of being recognized throughout the evening as such hadn’t quite evaporated (She hadn’t quite been paraded around by Poe, but certainly he made no effort to hide his adoration of her, or his pleasure in having her on his arm). 

Poe had kissed her thoroughly in the car on the way back, trailing hot, wet kisses along her neck, his hands roaming - enough to the point where Snap had rolled up the partition, obviously trying to stifle his laughter - and Rey had flushed all over when he’d told her that she’d done  _ well.  _ It had gotten easier and easier to ignore a pang of confused embarrassment when she became aroused after Poe praised her; the only reason she could think of for being embarrassed in the first place was some misplaced societal pressure. Rey knew herself to be a competent person, but she also knew she struggled with accepting her place in Poe’s life, and in the lives of her friends. Her confidence had only grown in the two months since she and Poe had become boyfriend and girlfriend and abolished the contract (and to be fair, it had grown during the contractual period as well), and Rey’s body still responded almost violently to being told she had done a good job, or that she was  _ good  _ in general. 

Poe knew this; Poe took great pleasure in this as well. 

Every chance he got - while still being genuine, Poe let her know how proud he was of her; he let her know she’d made him happy (he took specific care to be very thorough in this); he bragged about her, not in a mortifying way, to Finn and Rose and Paige, as well as to Jyn and his own father on the phone; and he always praised her when they were alone in their room, tangled up in the sheets, testing each other’s preferences and pleasures. 

“ _ You were so wonderful tonight, _ ” Poe had groaned as they neared the building. “ _ Fuck, you’re so beautiful, so clever - every person in that room knew how lucky I am.”  _ He paused to drag his hand along her thigh -  _ “But me most of all. _ ” Rey had giggled and preened, and then Poe’s eyes had darkened before promising,  _ “I’m going to show you just how happy you made me.”  _

They had previously agreed to test one of Rey’s most pressing curiosities - being tied up - and Rey had taken the opportunity to ask, “ _ Will you, Mr. Dameron? _ ”

He’d groaned and begged Snap to drive faster through the partition - eliciting actual laughter that time - but when they’d gotten upstairs, one of his top investors had called, swearing there was a “911.”

Poe had legitimately appeared to consider throwing his phone out of the window of the penthouse apartment, but Rey had assured him it was quite alright, and she didn’t mind waiting. And truly she didn’t, but she did slip away to change after the phone call dragged towards the ten minute mark, Poe’s hair growing more and more unruly as he dragged his hands through it (eventually, he slumped into the chair to stop himself from pacing, at Rey’s suggestion).

She carefully hung up tonight’s dress, a beautiful dark grey number that felt lighter than air, and the coat she’d worn to block the November chill, and slipped off her heels and put them away in the closet she now shared with Poe (something that gave her a sweet, domestic thrill). She was wearing stockings tonight, that ended at the top of her thigh with lacy detail, an item that Poe had bought for her tonight. Combined with her jewelry and her black lingerie, Rey knew she herself approved of her appearance - double-checking the mirror, she knew she looked  _ hot  _ \- and her hair looked too nice to wait.

So, still wearing her necklace, her bra and underwear, and her stockings, Rey tossed her hair out and slipped back into the middle of the apartment.

Poe couldn’t see her approach as he was glaring out at the city, biting into the phone, not even looking at her reflection in the massive ceiling to floor windows while she walked towards him. With a coil of almost playful lust in her stomach, she walked around to the front of the chair and knelt at his feet, smiling up at him.

He stuttered in whatever he was saying about the quarter’s returns, and Rey maintained a peaceful, sweet smile, not betraying the triumphant spike of hunger in her gut at the way his jaw dropped. She straightened her spine, rested her hands on her thighs, and gazed up at him. They’d practiced this precise position only a few weeks ago, after Rey had done some more research into what it meant to be submissive; and, she had no doubt in her mind that she didn’t think she could do this with anyone who wasn’t Poe, who didn’t respect her and treasure her outside of the bedroom, as well as in, who made no expectations, and who certainly wouldn’t mind if they  _ never  _ strayed into this territory.

It was a deferential position, but Rey knew that she had the upper hand. And she also knew that as soon as Poe got off the phone and became Mr. Dameron, she wouldn’t have to be in control anymore. He’d decide - based off of previous conversations and their own signals they’d determined before - what they’d do next. The thought was just as relieving as it was arousing.

They’d practiced a few things - giving and following orders, establishing hard and soft limits, and Rey had even sat naked for him for a whole afternoon once while he worked from home, letting Poe feed her by hand and comb her hair, something that almost actually made her purr - but they’d hadn’t quite done something like  _ this.  _ Poe was clearly struggling to maintain his self control as he spoke into the phone, but he did reach out and stroke her hair. Rey closed her eyes in contentment, already feeling the soft-warm bliss of trusting Poe wash over her, her heart rate slowing as his voice started to lull her into a place that only Poe could ever get her to.

“Can you give me a minute, Arnold?” Poe took his phone away from his ear and put it on mute. “Take this off, kitten.” He ran his finger under the strap of her bra, and Rey shivered at the use of the name he only used when they did  _ this.  _ She reached behind her slowly and unclasped the bra and then pulled the delicate material away from her body. “I’ll take it.” He held his hand out, and Rey placed it in his palm carefully, blushing slightly at the way his other hand came out to stroke her hair again. “Can you wait a little longer?” 

“Yes sir.” Rey smiled at him, and Poe smiled back, brilliantly. If this were any other situation, she’d lean forward and run her hand around his erection, pressing obviously against the front of his pants, but he hadn’t asked her to yet, so she waited. 

“Good girl.” He tweaked her nipple gently as he said it, and Rey fought back a whimper, feeling her cunt contract around nothing. “So sweet for me.” He trailed his thumb along her bottom lip, and Rey briefly thought he was going to slip the digit into her mouth, but instead he pulled away and returned to the phone call. 

The lulling feeling returned, having to do nothing but listen to Poe’s voice and feel the warmth of his gaze on her body, and Rey felt almost sleepy by the end of the call. She didn’t even notice Poe hang up before both of his hands were on her shoulders, his thumbs stroking over her skin delicately. “You’re so sweet to surprise me like this,” he murmured. “You couldn’t wait for me, huh?”

“No sir.” Rey peered up at him from her lowered lashes, and Poe licked his bottom lip. He smirked then and stood.

“Stand up,” he ordered, and Rey hastened to obey. “I want you to go into the bedroom.” She walked quickly towards the open door - “Slowly. I want to watch you.” Her whole body must be blushing, but he couldn’t have been more clear, so Rey slowed her steps and let her hips swing a little more. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me, kitten.” 

Poe followed her into the bedroom, and they stood at the foot of the bed for a moment. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes sir.” Rey chewed on her lip nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear. “If - if you want to.” 

“Of course I want to,” Poe assured her. He walked forward and stroked her hair behind her ear for her, smoothing his palm down her throat, and then pushing it to her back, while he followed the curve of her spine. “You were so good tonight, kitten. I think you deserve a reward.”

“Thank you, sir.” Rey fought back a massive grin, and/or victory dance. 

Poe kissed her neck and pulled away until there was two feet of space between them. He studied her face carefully. “Color?”

“Green.”

He smiled at her and nodded and then cleared his throat, straightening his back, the stern yet cocky mask of Mr. Dameron slipping over his features. “Are you ready for me to fuck you, then?”

“Yes sir.” Her hands went to unclasp the heavy diamond necklace he’d put on her earlier that night.

“Leave that on,” Poe commanded, eyes burning in the soft light. Rey swallowed and lowered her hands.

It was more of a collar than a necklace, she thought, flushing. It made her feel like a princess but also a captive, powerful but also entirely at the mercy of the man who stood two feet away from her, not touching her, but making her squirm and beg in a way no one had ever managed before. Rey’s hands drifted to her underwear instead and toyed with the sides. Poe nodded, once, and Rey slid them down over her hips, down her thighs, and dropped them so they pooled at her feet. She stepped out delicately, towards him, her pebbled nipples now inches away from the solid mass of his clothed chest.  

He mirrored her movement and stepped in, and she caught her breath, pleading silently for him to touch her, God, just touch her, she was going to combust if he didn’t touch her – she made a noise close to a whimper when he said, calmly, “Lie down, and put your arms over your head.” She scrambled to comply, falling onto the soft bed, forgetting to be seductive and playful in her haste. Rey stretched out on her back, keeping her ankles together, and arranged her arms the way he’d asked.

“Good girl,” he murmured, walking over and resting one knee on the mattress, to the left of her legs. “Do you still want me to tie you up?” Rey nodded, furiously, wiggling her fingers in anticipation. Poe laughed darkly. “Was that an answer?”

“Yes,” Rey said, her hips bucking upwards like they had a mind of their own. “Yes sir, please, I’ve been so good.”

“You’ve been perfect,” he said, and her body lit on fire with the praise. He slid his knee further onto the bed, and the swung his other leg up to the other side of her body. Poe – Mr. Dameron, now – was straddling her hips, and loosening the tie around his throat with one hand. The other hand drifted down to stroke the outside of her upper thigh, and Rey mewled, like a needy kitten, which might be where his nickname for her in this space came from. “Give me your hands,” he instructed, having loosened his tie. Rey held them up eagerly, eager to be good, and Mr. Dameron looped the tie around her wrists a few times in a pattern, humming to himself as he tested the knot.

Heat coiled impossibly tighter in her gut when he kissed the tips of each of her fingers before lowering her arms carefully above her head. The position rounded her tits, leaving them bare to his gaze, and Rey desperately wondered if he liked what he saw. The cut-off groan in his throat suggested he did. “You’ve been so good, sweetheart,” he said, cupping her jaw gently. His thumb rested near her mouth, so Rey turned her head quickly and let the digit slip between her lips, sucking gently on it like she’d wanted to before. Mr. Dameron swore, low and vehement, and Rey tilted her hips up in response.  _ Maybe now – _

“So sweet for me,” he muttered, making no move to pull his thumb away. In fact, he slid it further into her mouth, and Rey suckled at it greedily. “What would a sweet girl want from me?”

Rey opened her mouth and released his thumb with a wet  _ pop.  _ “Your cock,” she answered breathlessly. “Please, sir, let me – I can suck your cock, I can be good.” Mr. Dameron’s eyes darkened, the pupil winning out over the ring of brown, and he exhaled noisily through his mouth.

“Yeah?” He palmed his cock over his pants, the erection tenting them obscenely. “You want my cock?” 

“Yes,” Rey nodded, eyes wide. “Yes please.”

“Alright, then.” He stood from the bed, and Rey whimpered at the loss of his warmth hovering over her, but she shouldn’t have worried - Mr. Dameron stood to pull his shirt and pants off, kicking them away with little attention, and then he slid his boxers down, his erection springing free impressively. Her mouth watered just looking at it, and Rey fought not to rub her thighs together, not wanting him to change his mind and switch to giving  _ her  _ attention (Poe loved to go down on her, something she’d never complain about, but right now, she wanted his cock in her mouth so badly she might combust from it). 

“How to do this,” he murmured mostly to himself, one knee on the bed. He trailed his fingers along her torso, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in his wake, and using the backs of his nails, briefly teased each nipple. Rey was panting at this point, eager to do  _ anything - _ \- “Should I pull you to the edge of the bed?” He gripped her wrists where they were bound and tugged her slightly towards him. Rey moaned in anticipation, wiggling her fingers while he ran his other hand along her side. “Fuck your throat, with you completely at my mercy?” Rey nodded, her body responding to the visual of her head hanging upside down, his cock thrusting in and out of her mouth, hitting the back of her throat, but Mr. Dameron was already continuing. “No, no - not tonight.” Rey stared up at him plaintively, and he paused to smile at her, running his thumb along her lip again. “I have a different plan for you, kitten.” 

He climbed fully onto the bed, and swung his leg over her body once more. “I’m going to keep you just like this, and I’m going to feed you my cock, inch by inch, until you’re begging me for all of it. Sound good?”

“Yes sir,” Rey breathed, eyes wide. “Sounds good.”

“Good.” He adjusted where he was kneeling, scooting up the bed (somehow gracefully), until his knees were above her shoulders, his cock waving near her chin, and he reached to grab a pillow, slipping it under her head to support her neck. “Color?”

“Green.” Rey grinned at him cheekily. “Emerald, even.”

“Silly.” He caressed her cheek gently and then ran his thumb across her mouth once more. “Open up.”

Rey’s mouth popped open, and Mr. Dameron  grasped his cock, giving it a few strokes, before just the head slipped between her lips. Rey licked it tentatively, eyeing Mr. Dameron for his reaction; his eyes devoured her eagerly, his mouth slightly open, his face flushed. He groaned as her lips wrapped around the head and sucked, and he pulled away before she could try to take more of it in.

“Uh-uh.” Mr. Dameron pretended to chastise her. “I decide. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” She opened her mouth again and waited patiently, and once more, the head of his cock entered her mouth. 

He thrust in shallowly for a long moment, his hands running through her hair, one slipping down to grasp under her chin. “Ready for more, kitten?” Rey hummed and nodded as best she could, and more of Mr. Dameron’s thick cock entered her mouth at the next thrust. “So good,” he groaned, and Rey tilted her head a little more, trying to take in more of him. “Oh-  _ fuck  _ -” 

She still hadn’t taken more than three inches of his shaft into her mouth at this point, and Rey was already dizzy with the pleasure of making him happy. “Good girl,” he praised her, reaching behind him for a moment to toy with one of her breasts. He continued his thrusts, sitting up slightly and reaching back with his other hand, claiming her other nipple. Rey moaned deeply around his cock as twin spikes of lust went into her lower gut. “Does that feel good, kitten?”

“Mhm.” Rey nodded, breathing in slowly and carefully through her nose. She and Poe had been very specific while preparing for a scene like this - if she stopped audibly responding at any point, they were to stop. 

“God, you look so good like this, so fucking good.” He tweaked her left nipple a little harder, and Rey almost shrieked. His hands returned and cupped her face, his thumbs running along the hollows of her cheeks. He pulled out all the way, and he smiled at her. “Do you want more, kitten?”

“I can take all of it,” Rey insisted, her hips writhing slightly against the sheets. “ _ Please,  _ Mr. Dameron, I can - I can suck your cock, I can take it, please--”

“If you insist,” he said serenely, and he tapped her jaw gently. Rey opened up again, and this time, he didn’t pause while slipping his cock between her lips. “Look at you,” he praised, as he went further and further. He sat up slightly to get a better angle, and Rey breathed carefully to control her body’s natural response to taking in something so large to the back of her throat. “Holy fuck, kitten, you’re so good at sucking my cock.” Rey’s eyes fluttered shut, and when Mr. Dameron had finished feeding her the entire length of his shaft, he leaned forward and gripped the tie that held her hands together. “I could stay here all day, you feel so good.”

She knew he wouldn’t  _ actually,  _ but the thought that this simple act pleased him enough to even suggest it caused the pleasure to tighten once more, combining sweetly with the drowsy contentment that had fully set in. She trusted Mr. Dameron, and he was so,  _ so  _ happy with her. Distantly, she was aware of him thrusting into her mouth slowly, not pulling all the way out, and very gentle on the way in - part of her, some inexplicable part, wanted him to be a little rougher, to thrust in harder, to use her throat for his pleasure, but it was a very small part, and she had a feeling that as interesting as the idea was, nothing could compete with this almost lazy surrender in his loving, capable hands - and he groaned above her. 

“I’m gonna come, kitten. You did so good - I’m gonna come-”

One of her soft limits was swallowing cum, but Mr. Dameron didn’t attempt to ask or warn her past his impending finish - instead, he pulled out carefully, groaning, and shuffled back on the bed, until he straddled her hips once more. Rey sucked the two fingers he offered her, humming around them as they thrust into her mouth shallowly in place of his cock. She watched, still bliss-warm and contented, Mr. Dameron’s mouth hanging open, his eyes shut tightly, as he stroked his cock furiously with his other hand.

Being come  _ on  _ was certainly not a soft limit of hers, something that she very much (almost possessively) enjoyed, and Rey felt her lust spike higher through the haze of pleasing Mr. Dameron when his head tilted back in a deep, throaty groan, and he came over her stomach, some of it splashing to the underside of her tits.

Mr. Dameron blinked once, twice, before he smiled at her. “I’m going to make you come,” he said decisively, falling back even more. “Color, kitten?”

“Green,” Rey sighed dreamily. Her eyes slipped shut, all too happy to fully give in now that she was sure her sir was satisfied, and Mr. Dameron chuckled while stroking her thighs. 

“I’m going to fuck you with my fingers, and you’re going to come when I ask.” 

“Yes sir.” Rey was already intensely aroused, so there was no way she was going to last very long - she hoped Mr. Dameron took mercy on her and let her come quickly.

He circled her clit a few times with just a single finger, and Rey whimpered, her hands still bound above her head. “Also - no moving.” He chided her, squeezing her hip gently. “Understood?”

“Yes sir.” Rey nodded and squeezed her fingers together, hoping that she wouldn’t accidentally disob- “ _ Oh _ !”

He slipped two fingers into her without further warning, her body accepting the intrusion easily because she was - “So wet,” Mr. Dameron groaned. “Kitten, you’re so wet for me.” He pumped his fingers in, twisting them slightly to hit her g-spot, and the surge of pleasure was almost overwhelming. Rey opened her mouth to thank him for the compliment, but all that came out was a ragged sob of pleasure. “You’re already so close to coming, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes sir,” Rey shuddered as he slipped -  _ a third?  _ \- finger into her, nearing a senseless level of pleasure at his hands. “So close.”

“Good. Tell me when you can’t help it anymore. Tell me when you're about to come on my fingers.” 

“Yes sir.”

He fucked her with his fingers for a while longer, his thumb rolling over and over her clit in the exact way she liked, small circles with brief up-and-down swipes mixed in, and she felt her body tightening.

“S-sir,” Rey gasped, her eyes studying his face frantically. Mr. Dameron was staring at her openly in the dim lighting of the bedroom, his cock half-hard still. “Sir, please, ‘m so close.” She fought the urge to rock her hips up into his fingers and stayed still as he asked.

“Fuck.” He thrust faster, his eyes not moving away from hers. “Oh, kitten, I can tell. Look at your sweet little cunt,” Rey sobbed slightly, her body spasming uncontrollably as she fought back her orgasm, “taking my fingers so beautifully. You’ve done so well.” Another thrust, another circle, and then, blessedly, “Come for me.” 

Rey nearly screamed, her face contorting as her body arched off the bed, her feet scrabbling - she was unaware of anything but the fingers still pumping into her body, and the ceaseless waves of white-hot pleasure coursing through her bloodstream.

She came back to herself slowly, growing more and more aware of the fact that she was somehow in Mr. Dameron’s arms, his hands running along her back tenderly while he whispered into her hair. She caught “ _ good girl, _ ” and  _ “perfect, _ ” and  _ “you’ve done so wonderfully well. _ ”

Rey hummed happily and nuzzled into his chest, and he kissed the top of her head gently. “How do you feel?”

“Mmm.” Words were difficult while she was floating so nicely.

He laughed softly, his hands still gentle on her body. “That’s what I thought. How do you feel about a bath?”

“Mmm.” That was definitely a noise of approval, and thankfully Poe took it as such. At some point, he’d untied her wrists, and every so often as his hands ran along her body, he took care to rub circles into the skin where the tie had been, dropping kisses as well. 

**

Rey was curled up in his arms, clearly drained from the last - Poe checked the time - forty-five minutes. After draping a blanket around her, Poe gathered her up carefully and stood from the bed, still whispering praises to her, hoping they were sinking in. Judging by the happy little hums she kept making, Rey could hear him. 

He worried, very much so, that they’d pushed too hard for their first real foray into this, but he’d have to ask her after he was done taking care of her. Poe carried them from the bedroom into the kitchen, where he set Rey down carefully on a chair and kissed her forehead. “Give me a second,” he whispered. Rey made a needy little noise in her throat while he turned to grab some water bottles and grapes from the fridge. “I’m back,” he assured her. “I’m not going anywhere, kitten.” He wanted to call her  _ Sunshine,  _ but he also wanted to keep those two parts of their life a little separate during her transition back into control of herself. Poe scooped her up again, kissing her hair, and Rey’s fingers pressed into his still bare chest drowsily. Poe could not - not before, not now - believe how much trust she put in him, how well their bodies responded to each other, how easily this dynamic worked. 

Just the previous night, they’d fucked wildly for almost an hour, Rey on top for a solid portion of it, her fingers digging greedily into his wrists while she rode him into oblivion - and yet, tonight, they’d slipped into their roles naturally, easily, and Poe’s heart threatened to burst from the sheer love he had for her, the pride from how well she’d done. So, he told her.

“You did so well,” he whispered as he sat on the edge of the tub. He adjusted Rey carefully in his lap before turning on the faucet, testing the temperature of the water to make sure it was warm but not uncomfortably hot. “You were amazing. I couldn’t be more proud of you.” Rey hummed again, burying her face sweetly in his chest. “Feeling shy?” 

Rey nodded, but he could catch a cute smile from what he could see of her face. “Hmm, that’s okay.” He tested the water again, and, satisfied, he returned his full attention to his sweetheart. “Can you try drinking something for me?” He cracked open a water bottle with one hand and held it to her lips. Poe specifically did not phrase it as a command, instead as a question, to make her move back into full decision-making mode a little easier. 

“Mhm.” He held it in place as she sipped, and he was careful not to tip it so much so it would overwhelm her. Poe paused several times, giving her time to swallow the small amounts of water, and when she’d drank half the water, he was satisfied.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked gently, setting the bottle down and rubbing his hands along her body slowly. “Do you feel good?”

“So good.” Rey tucked her face into his chest again, and Poe kissed her hair. There was enough water in the tub now for them to climb in, and he pulled her blanket away slowly before standing and lowering her into the tub, ignoring the twinge in his back. “Oooh.” 

“Is that too hot?” Poe asked, knowing that her nerves would be oversensitive right now. 

“No.” Rey’s eyes were still closed in bliss, and she settled into the water. “This is nice.” Full sentences were a good thing. Poe climbed in as well, and he scooted around so that Rey could lean into his chest. She immediately clung to him, making a happy noise, and Poe fought the urge to laugh, not wanting her to feel embarrassed. That would make things terrible for her as she left her sub-space. 

“You’re so sweet,” he said instead, nuzzling her forehead. “Do you think you could try eating something for me?”

“Yep.” Rey smiled up at him, and she pursed her lips, obviously asking for a kiss. Poe asked, just to make sure.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Rey sighed, her eyes shut again. Poe smiled and obliged, kissing her sweetly, and probably not for as long as she wanted. He pulled away slowly, stroking his hands along her side before he reached out of the tub, displacing some water, to grab the grapes. 

He fed them to her one at a time, holding the small green fruits to her lips. Rey chewed them slowly, and she ate ten before she sighed contentedly and said, “I’m good.” 

Actively deciding things was good, and Poe smiled, grabbing for the loofah next. He squeezed some of the nice, lavender smelling stuff onto it (Paige’s pick) and began to soap up Rey’s shoulders and back. She arched her back into it, much like a cat, and Poe grinned. “Does that feel nice?”

“Heck yes.” Rey grinned at him, her head tilting to the side as he got her neck and then continued down her front. “That feels--” she shivered happily, and they kissed again, Poe still moving the loofah along her body carefully. 

He ached to have her, his cock hardening despite his best efforts - but he wanted to make sure Rey was fully back into herself before initiating sex. She seemed to understand that, and after pouting briefly when he shook his head at her arched eyebrow (directed at his erection), Rey held her hand out for the loofah and began to wipe it over his chest. 

“You’re so wonderful,” Poe sighed, genuinely meaning it. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“And I’m the luckiest woman.” The sponge was floating on the water now, and Rey set her hands on his shoulders. “Thank you.”

He took one of her hands, both of their arms covered in soapy bubbles, and kissed her knuckles. “Thank you,” he murmured, putting her hand back where she wanted it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” They kissed sleepily slow in the warm water, their hands coasting smoothly over heated skin, and Poe swore that he’d never been happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, yes I did add another chapter (epilogue)


	14. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to surprise Poe, and it doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE KINK!
> 
> In this chapter there be:
> 
> 1\. Face-sitting  
> 2\. 69  
> 3\. Condom-less sex  
> 4\. Unabashed intimacy
> 
>  
> 
> Happy Sinful Sunday!

Rey straightened out the smooth, red bow and adjusted her stockings before kneeling in front of the tree. Best Buddy had informed her when Poe was leaving the office, and if she had timed it right, she had a few minutes before he walked in the front door.

He was in for quite a surprise - Rey was wearing nothing but a large, silk ribbon that she’d tied into a bow in front of her breasts (which had involved an embarrassing Youtube video and a shocking number of wiki-how tutorials on tying bows) and thigh-high red and white stockings. “Oh, crap.” She dove for the coffee table and snagged the Santa hat she’d left out and set it on top of her head.

Grinning almost evilly, she settled back into her former position, flipping her hair out to fan around her shoulders. She squirmed in anticipation - she and Poe hadn’t dabbled much in the dominant/submissive side of their relationship too much (a memory ricocheted through her head of the time where he’d bent her over his desk in his office - honestly she’d just been there to bring him some lunch on her way to work - and pulled her pants down to eat her out from behind while she whined and writhed on the mahogany, bringing her to orgasm twice before he pushed into her and fucked her hard enough that the drawers rattled), but she was very much looking forward to enticing him into playing Mr. Dameron for a night.

It was December 23rd, and Rey had more than a few surprises for him for Christmas. This was only the first, and she was very happy to think that this would be very pleasant for both of them. Maybe she could even convince him to tie her down and blindfold her this time…

She was stirred from her very intense reverie by the chime of Best Buddy.

[ _Poe will arrive in the penthouse in approximately ten seconds._ ] Rey bounced excitedly on her heels, already grinning. [ _He is accompanied by a Mr. Kes Dameron._ ]

 _Wait, what?_ Rey fell over in her haste to scramble to her feet. “What?” She shrieked. “His _dad_ is with him?”

[ _Kes Dameron is Poe Dameron’s biological father, yes_ ]. Rey shrieked some more, embarrassment flooding her, and scrambled into the bedroom just in time for the elevator doors to hiss open.

“Rey?” Poe’s familiar voice called out. He was laughing, and another, deeper voice was laughing with him. “Rey, sweetheart, come on out here! There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Rey pressed her hands to her cheeks, willing her blush to go down. She needed to change -

“Rey? Best Buddy, is Rey here?”

“Tell him I’m sick,” Rey whispered. “Tell him I’m contagious, and I can’t see anyone.”

[ _Rey Smith is in the bedroom_ ]

“Traitor!” Rey hissed. She nearly took herself out again sliding to the closet, searching for a sweater or a bra or something to wear.

“Rey, sweetheart, you’ll never guess who’s-” Poe opened the door and then gasped, and the door slammed shut again, with him inside it. “ _Rey._ ”

“Sorry.” Rey had never been so mortified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know your dad was here, and I was going to surprise you, and-”

There was a knock at the door. “Mijo? Is everything alright?’

“Yeah, Dad, just give us a few minutes. Rey was-” Poe wrung his hands and tapped his foot a few times. “Napping. She was napping.”

“I totally get it, I could use a nap too.” The voice retreated, and Rey wished she could sink into the floor.

“He didn’t see me?” She asked hopefully and a little tearfully.

“No.” Poe couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and usually Rey would preen, but now she was just embarrassed. She grabbed the largest sweater she could find and chucked it onto the bed. “Holy shit, though.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Rey grabbed a pair of jeans too, and threw them to join the sweater. “Oh my God, I’m not even wearing underwear.”

“I know.” Poe’s voice sounded specifically like it did when he was usually deep inside her, a little wrecked, a little deeper than normal. “Holy shit, kitten.”

“No!’ Rey hissed, jabbing her finger at him. Fuck, he looked good. She hadn’t seen him in her mad panic, but now that she gave him some solid attention, she saw that he was wearing a cream colored sweater over dark wash jeans, his dark hair curling over his ears. _Be strong,_ she reminded herself. “No _kitten_! No!”

“Why not?” Poe sauntered forward and draped himself over the bed, half on top of the sweater she’d just picked out. He pouted adorably and reached out to trace the top of her stockings. “You look so pretty, kitten. Is that all for me?”

“Yes,” Rey muttered. “I mean - No! No, we don’t have time for this!” She raced back to the closet and grabbed a conservative pair of underwear. Poe had the audacity to whine at her.  

“Yes, we do.”

“Poe! Your father is waiting for us right outside.” Rey jerked her head to the door. “We do not have the time!”

“Fifteen minutes.” Poe sat up and held his hands out, and Rey reluctantly placed hers in his. “Gimme fifteen minutes to love you. Wanna taste you so bad.”

“Poe,” Rey hissed, her cheeks flaming again. “Your father-”

“I’ll tell him to give us fifteen minutes.” Poe tugged her closer and looked up plaintively. “Fifteen minutes, I bet I can get you to come for me more than once.” He stood up, leaning forward still to nose along her arm as he straightened up, over her shoulder, ending with his lips at her throat. “God, you’re so beautiful. I’m the luckiest man alive.” He kissed along her neck, and Rey shivered, gripping his arms. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rey said, her knees weak.

Poe toyed with the ribbon in the back. “How’d you know what I wanted for Christmas?”

“And what’s that?”

“You.” He pulled back to kiss her for real, and Rey whimpered slightly, but then shook her head and pushed him away.

“No.” Poe stepped back, apologetic, his eyes still wide and plaintive. “No, we can do this later - I can’t, not with your dad waiting for us.”

“Okay.” Poe nodded and smiled at her. “Shit, sorry, got caught up in the-” he gestured vaguely at her, and shook his head again. “Shit, I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” Rey turned around, and pointed at the knot behind her back. Poe untied it for her, and she smiled at the tender kiss he placed at the base of her neck. “I want to...do all that with you, and I love you, but we can do it later.”

“Of course we can.” Poe handed her her sweater but then snapped his fingers. “You need a bra. Or that - that thing. A camisole?”

“Camisole will be fine,” Rey laughed, and Poe dove into the closet to find her a soft camisole.

“My lady.” He handed it to her with a smile, and Rey pulled it over her head, shaking her hair out. “Can you wear those...later?” He pointed at her stockings, and Rey nodded and giggled. Poe knelt down and pulled them down her legs, and Rey tried to ignore the warmth of him so close to her exposed sex, and Poe was clearly trying to ignore it too, judging by the furtive glances he kept casting. She was about to cave - and give him ten minutes, not fifteen - when he leaned back and grabbed her underwear and jeans.

“I’ll tell my dad you’ll be out in a few minutes.” Poe kissed her cheek sweetly and handed her the clothing. “You’re amazing, and incredible, and that really was a great surprise.”

“Mhm.” Rey smiled at him and pulled on the rest of her outfit while Poe went to go talk to his dad. She gave herself a single glance in the mirror - _“don’t fuck this up”_ she hissed - before going to join them.

Kes Dameron ended up being a total sweetheart, and Rey immediately warmed to him. He was a few inches shorter than Poe, about her height, with salt and pepper curls and deeply set laugh lines. While Poe threw together a quick dinner, Rey and Kes sat on the couch and flipped through photos.

“Oh, look at your little butt,” Rey crowed, pointing at a picture of Poe running down a hallway, half-naked, maybe three years old.

“He had a vendetta against pants that year.” Kes cocked his head. “Okay, so maybe it was a few years.” They descended into cackles, and Poe huffed from the kitchen island.

“Rude. No food for you.” He jabbed his finger at them, and Rey turned around to pout at him with big eyes. Poe flailed with the spatula and went back to the stir fry. “Fine. You get food.”

Rey chuckled while Kes stared at his son appraisingly. “You’re useful.” He nudged Rey. “My son’s the stubbornest person alive, and look at that. He’s like puddy in your hands.”

“Only for her, old man,” Poe warned, grabbing three plates from the cupboard. “Don’t get any ideas.”

They were still giggling when they sat down to eat, a bottle of beer in front of each of them. It was a brew local to Kes’s hometown, out towards Yavin, and Rey learned a lot more about Poe, like the fact that he played the bassoon in middle and high school.

“Dad,” Poe hissed at his dad, while Rey clutched her sides laughing at a picture Kes showed her. “We tell girls that I played the _guitar._ Not the bassoon.”

“I mean, he played that too,” Kes waved a dismissive hand, and Rey continued to cry with laughter at the next picture on the camera roll, Poe with a reed in his mouth, his cheeks puffed out. “But he was way better at this. In fact, he missed junior prom because he was at regional orchestra!”

“ _Dad_!”

**

Kes stretched and yawned around 21:30, and they said their goodnights; Rey hugged him tightly before heading off towards the bedroom. Poe moved to follow her, but his dad tugged on his arm and pulled him back.

“Why hadn’t I heard about her?” Kes asked quietly, after the door clicked shut behind Rey. “You told me you were dating two months ago. I’m guessing it’s been a lot longer than that?”

Poe knew Rey was safely in their room, but he was still glad his father had switched to Spanish for this conversation, and he shrugged helplessly.

“We’ve been...dating,” Poe prayed his father wouldn’t hear the fib in the word, “since June. I guess I just didn’t want to jinx it.” He raised his hands in defense as Kes scoffed at this new information.

“Six months?” Kes stared at him and rubbed his stubbled jaw. “You’ve been with a girl for half a year, after, as far as I know, going through models every six weeks for the last decade.”

“Dad,” Poe winced. “That’s a little harsh.”

“I know, I know.” Kes sighed and rubbed Poe’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, I really am. Rey’s great, and you’re clearly wildly in love.” Kes smirked at him. “Don’t think I was completely unaware of what you were doing to - _ahem_ \- wake her up from her nap.”

“Ugh.” Poe covered his ears. “You’re so gross, old man.” Kes poked him in the ribs playfully, and Poe snorted, swatting his dad’s hands.

“Your mother would have loved to see you so happy.” Poe’s hand subconsciously went to his necklace, and he nodded. “I’m happy to see you happy.”

His dad pulled him into a hug, and Poe held him tightly before they stepped away from each other. “See you in the morning. Thanks for having me, mijo.”

“Thanks for coming,” Poe answered, smiling softly. “I missed you.” Kes patted his cheek fondly before totering off to the guest room - the one Rey had briefly occupied when they were pretending to both want the contract - and then Poe smiled at the tree in the corner of the living room, still brightly lit, casting strange, delicate shadows throughout the room. With his hands in his pockets, Poe walked to the bedroom, lost in thought over silver rings and bright eyes.

He pushed the door open and immediately his mouth went dry.

Rey was wearing the same outfit from before - and how he got through almost five hours without losing his mind is still beyond him - and sitting at the end of the bed. Her ankles were crossed primly, and her bow was back in place.

He wanted to ask her how she even tied that thing - but _it wasn’t the time, Dameron,_ and instead he walked up to her and sank to his knees.

“Sweetheart,” Poe breathed, wrapping his hands around her calves. “You look good enough to eat.”

“Well, then.” Rey smiled at him cheekily and brought her foot up to rest on the bed, her cunt fully on display now. Poe leaned in subconsciously, unable to stop himself at the sight of her, glistening and clearly already interested in proceeding. “I might have gotten started without you.”

“Fuck.” He leaned in some more and kissed the soft skin of her inner thigh, his hands dragging along her legs, her stockings smooth and soft under his palms until he reached her upper thighs.

“That’s the idea.” Rey gasped and tossed her hair back as he blew a hot breath over her clit, his eyes staying on her face.

“What do you want?” Poe murmured, his nose dragging along her soft curls, slightly damp from her arousal. “Hmm?”

“Your mouth,” Rey gasped, and Poe smirked, happy to oblige. Her fingers were in his hair then, tugging slightly, and Poe groaned at the sharp stab of pleasure. “W-wait. I...I want…”

“What?” Poe sat back and slipped a finger over her clit, swirling delicately in a semi-circle. Rey mewled and rocked her hips up before shaking her head. “You can tell me.”

“Iwantorideyourface.” Rey spoke in a rush, her cheeks flaming red. Poe stared at her before grinning - she was spread out before him, still wearing her candy cane stockings, her red bow alluring and adorable at the same time, and he nodded eagerly.

“Fuck yes.” He stood and pulled his sweater over his head. “I am definitely okay with that.” He pulled his belt free from the loops quickly and then unbuttoned his jeans, shoving them down and then kicking them away from his body. “Boxers?”

“Off.” Rey bit her bottom lip, and Poe groaned, leaning down to kiss her searingly, and her fingers fumbled with the waistband of his boxers, hooking around the elastic and tugging them down. His cock bounced free, and Poe thought back desperately to remember if he’d bought condoms the other day - and yep, they were in the bathroom, and maybe he should go grab them before - Rey’s mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock, gently, more of a wet kiss than anything else, and Poe moaned while she leaned back, already grinning.

“My turn first,” he ordered, going to lie down on the bed. “So get up here, gorgeous.”

“Yes sir.” Her grin was infectious when she tumbled to lie down next to him, and Poe sat up and asked her wait a moment to tug the bow free, unwrapping the ribbon delicately, exposing more and more of her torso as he went. They kissed eagerly, and Poe found his hips thrusting up into nothing. He couldn’t remember being this turned on without really being touched (other than her quick kiss) since he was in his early twenties, or maybe even ever, and he knew it had everything to do with Rey.

“I love you,” Poe whispered, and she repeated it back before he lay down. “Which way?” He asked her curiously, and Rey giggled before swinging her leg over his head.

“This feels so ridiculous,” she laughed, facing towards his feet, and Poe stroked the outside of her thighs soothingly. “I must look ridiculous.”

Poe was face to face with her dripping cunt, her sweet clit not three inches from his mouth, and he groaned in disagreement. “I’ve got no complaints about the view,” he murmured, sitting up just slightly to nose against her. Rey shrieked, and he wrapped his hands around her hips to bring her closer to his mouth. “Enjoy the ride, sweetheart,” he teased before wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking gently.

The next few minutes passed very enjoyably, as Poe licked, sucked, and kissed his Sunshine, cataloguing her gasps, the way her thighs clutched his head, her hands scrambling at his chest, at his hair, at his hands as she writhed and moaned above him. He murmured encouragements and endearments into her slick heat, and Rey sobbed something a lot like his name before coming undone entirely, her hips desperately jolting as she rode out her orgasm against his tongue and lips.

“I love you,” he murmured, pulling back slightly to place a finger at her entrance. “Think you can go again, Sunshine?”

“Love you too,” Rey mumbled. “I’m not sure if…” She keened as his finger slipped in to the second knuckle and twisted around to find the spot that would make her...yep, there it was, and a gush of liquid rushed out, which Poe lapped up eagerly. “Ooh, you don’t play fair.”

“I don’t, no.” Poe grinned, and Rey sagged forward, exposing more of herself to him. Poe hummed happily, Rey’s head closer to his navel now, and slipped another finger into her, appreciating this new angle.

He appreciated it more a second later when her lips wrapped around his cock. Poe had to fight not to thrust his hips up, seeking more of the delicious contact, and he groaned filthily. “Fuck, baby, you don’t have to do that.”

Rey released him with an obscene _pop_ and smirked over her shoulder at him. He couldn’t really see her expression, but he knew it was there. “Oh, but I _want_ to,” she protested, and Poe shrugged. What followed could charitably be described as a race to the finish, as Rey cupped his balls and took as much as his shaft into her mouth as she could, humming and moaning around him with every thrust of his fingers or movement of his tongue.

“Wait,” Rey gasped, right as she was starting to clench so sweetly around his fingers again. Poe stopped immediately, withdrawing his fingers, and she whined in protest, her small hands curling into fists at his hips. “Fuck - it’s just - I was going to surprise you earlier.”

“You did,” Poe reminded her, stroking her quivering thighs, and admiring how wet she was. “Count me as very pleasantly surprised.”

“That wasn’t the full surprise,” Rey whispered into his skin, and Poe quirked an eyebrow. “Can we-” He helped her adjust, guiding her shaking leg over his head and then sitting up to pull her into his arms. They kissed for a moment, and Poe moaned at the taste of himself on her tongue, and wondered if it was just as erotic for her.

“Okay.” Rey was slightly breathless now. “Okay, so, um. You know how my, um, birth control prescription lapsed a few months ago?”

“Yeah.” Poe stroked some of her hair behind her ear and smiled. “What about it?”

“It’s just.” She squirmed adorably on his lap and ducked her head. Poe gently placed his forefinger and middle finger under her chin and lifted it so he could smile at her encouragingly. “I, um, got a new prescription.”

“Yeah?” Poe was pretty sure he knew where it was going, and his cock twitched, but he was going to wait for her to say it -

“Yeah, it’s been a week and...and I’m clean, and I know you’re clean, and I was thinking.” She was bright pink but she still managed to smile at him. “Wanna...skip the condom tonight?” She wrinkled her nose and smiled wider, tracing a pattern on his collarbone, and Poe wondered if she could feel his heart swelling in size under her fingers. “And maybe all the rest of the nights?”

“Yes.” Poe nodded enthusiastically. He twisted his head slightly to kiss her quickly. “Yes, and the days too, whenever, yes, yes please.”

“Oh, good.” Rey giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, and while they kissed, Poe stroked her sides, bringing his hands up at times to toy with her nipples, and they eventually fell back to the bed.

Rey was on top, and Poe groaned when she reached behind herself to grasp his cock and guide it to her heat. “Fuck,” he moaned at the unencumbered feel of her, brushing against him. “Oh, holy fuck.”

“Yeah.” Rey’s brow wrinkled like she was lost in thought, as she twisted her hips slightly to test it out. “This feels … different. Good different.” She lifted up on her knees and sank down onto him, and Poe’s hands clutched her hips tightly. Stars danced behind his eyes as she sank down to the hilt, and he could feel the grip of her body, taking him in, the walls of her cunt adjust around him, so sweet, so hot, so perfect, and he whimpered from the effort of not coming right then and there.

He hadn’t gone bareback in years, preferring the slight distance the condom placed between him and his partner, and with Rey so tight and real around him, nothing between them, he remembered his reasons for why - it was almost overpoweringly emotional, to be inside her like this, undeniably intimate, and she felt good enough to make him moan, low in his throat.

“Can I -” Rey asked, watching his face, and he nodded, smiling up at her, praying she didn’t judge him for the tears in his eyes. “I love you,” she said, leaning down to tenderly kiss him, and they spent a few more minutes like that, Poe lost in the kiss, his cock twitching inside her; then, Rey sat upright, placed her hands on his chest, lifted herself up, and they hissed together when she sank back down.

He helped her move, rocking back and forth along him, and Poe committed it to memory as best he could, the sight of Rey, her tits bouncing slightly from the force of her motion, her stockings slipping but still well in place, driving him wild, her hair mussed, cheeks flushed, eyes closed, and her mouth half-open in pleasure.

“You feel so good,” Rey gasped, and Poe reached up to twist a nipple delicately, loving the way it caused her to bear down on him. “Flip?” She asked nervously.

Regretfully, this meant not being inside her for a few seconds as he guided her back down to the mattress. Rey spread her legs for him, and Poe took it and appreciated it as the gift it was, that it always was, as he slipped between them and slipped inside her. The heat was even more unbearable now, and he rested his weight on his forearms until he was fully inside her. Rey arched her back and gripped his shoulders, squeezing him enough to have him almost howling.

Rey giggled and covered his mouth. “Your dad is down the hall,” she reminded him, and Poe snorted and tossed his head to move her hand out of the way so he could kiss her, starting to thrust.

“I love you.” He grabbed her hand where it was now twisting into the sheets and brought it to his lips, chasing the feeling building in his spine. “God, I love you so much.”

“Yeah,” Rey’s eyes were glassy and kept slipping shut as the flush on her cheeks grew. Between that and the increasing tightness of her cunt, Poe knew she was close, and he swiveled his hips a little more forcefully. “Oh, fuck.” Tears were in her eyes when she opened them, and she tore her hand free to place on the back of his neck to drag him down for a desperate kiss which Poe returned. “I love you so much,” she whispered, surging up to kiss him again, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Poe moaned filthily into the kiss, thrusting faster now, the angle only improved by her change of position, and Rey’s moans turned sharper and shorter, in time with the thrusts. Rey buried her face in the crook of his neck, and Poe rested his head on the pillow, sobbing his own groans into the silk. Rey’s nails dug into his back as she started to pulse around him, and Poe was wrecked, completely gone, when she gasped, “Come inside me-”

He had no choice but to obey, and his hips stilled, buried in her to the hilt, as he came almost violently, the orgasm prolonged by hers.

They were both gasping for air when he raised himself back up onto his forearms and studied her face. She was still pink, her eyes still slightly glassy - with more than a few tears - and he kissed her again and again, his heart pounding, and back slightly aching from how passionately he’d loved her.

“Let me,” he murmured a moment later, pulling out with a wince from both of them, and he rolled to his feet to grab towel from the dresser. He cleaned her up delicately, Rey shivering from the slow movements, and he kissed her thighs tenderly, caressing them even when he was done cleaning her up.

He sighed and threw the towel, wrapping her up in his arms, and pulling the blanket over them. Rey hummed happily and wiggled deeper into his arms, and they kissed for a few more seconds while their heart rates settled.

“So.” Poe kissed the top of her head. “That was...intense.”

“Mhm.” Rey’s nose rubbed his collarbone.

“Was that everything you wanted, sweetheart?” Poe smiled down at her, and tried to push the image of the ring around his neck making a permanent move to her fourth finger.

“Mmm, almost.” Rey curled up even more, and smiling mischievously before hiding her face in his chest.

“Almost?” Poe grinned at her and stroked a hand down her arm. “What would you have done instead?”

“Well.” Rey yawned adorably, a small squeaking noise, and Poe’s grin threatened to actually split his face in half from how broadly it expanded. “...I wanted to try anal.”

It was Poe’s turn to squeak, and Rey cracked an eye open briefly to laugh at him. “Goodnight, Mr. Dameron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue is next, and it takes place on Christmas Day!
> 
> It should be up pretty soon, as it's already done, and it's pretty short.
> 
> I can't believe this is almost finished, y'all!


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey spend a very happy Christmas morning with loved ones.

“Pass me another!” Finn held his hands out and whooped excitedly when Rose chucked a brightly wrapped present at him.

“Hey, that’s from me!” Poe pointed across the circle at Finn, and Finn giggled nervously. Rey and Rose exchanged a look over Finn’s continuing crush on Poe, and Rey settled even more into Poe’s side. They were wearing matching ugly Christmas sweaters, and Poe was wearing the hat that Rey had worn during their less than family friendly activities the other day.

Finn ripped through the wrapping paper while Rey leaned in to kiss and nuzzle Poe’s stubbled cheek. She’d seen him in a tuxedo, in suits, in business wear, in all variety of formal and professional clothing, but she liked this look best: rumpled hair, warm sweater, and soft pajama pants.

Poe kissed her forehead and hummed happily before leaning back on his hands, and Rey slipped a hand behind him to rub his lower back, where she knew his muscles were always tight and sore. Poe tilted his head back, eyes closed, clearly enjoying the contact, and Rey looked over at Kes; Poe’s father was beaming at them, a quiet but exuberant smile, and Rey tentatively returned it.

“Holy shit!” Rey looked back to Finn, who had pulled his present out from the paper. He held the top of the line tablet above his head in clear adoration. “These haven’t even hit the market yet!”

“Nope.” Poe grinned at him easily. “And that one won’t ever.”

“What?” Finn cradled the tablet to his chest and stared at Poe with wide eyes.

“It’s customized.” Poe looked entirely too pleased with himself, and Rey rubbed her nose on his shoulder. “I talked to Rose and Rey about your last computer and your problems with it, so I fixed that one to better fit your needs. The operating system is programmed for you to do whatever you want with it.”

“Eeeee!” Finn rolled backwards onto the ground for a second, hugging his new tablet before rocketing over to tackle Poe.

“Hey!” Rey laughed as her boyfriend was bowled over by her best friend. “I only have one of those.”

“Sorry, Peanut.” Finn smirked at her over Poe’s head. “He’s mine now.”

“My turn, my turn.” Paige grabbed a present from under the tree. “Oh, it’s from Rose!”

“It’s a toenail collection,” Rose snarked, sticking her tongue out at her sister.

“Ewww.” Paige stretched her leg out and kicked Rose lightly. “I prefer fingernails.”

“No kicking on Christmas,” Kes warned from his spot up on the couch. Paige and Rose giggled, and Rose peeked over anxiously to watch her sister’s reaction.

“Oh, I love it!” Paige pulled a number of fancy cooking utensils out of her box, and then pulled out an envelope. She slit it open quickly and screeched at the contents. “Is this-”

“Cooking lessons!” Rose crowed, hugging her sister tightly. “At that place you’re always going on about!” The sisters hugged for a few seconds, and Rose kissed her sister’s temple. “And I directly benefit from this present, so I’m not entirely sure it was altruistic.”

“Definitely fair.”

“Poe’s turn,” Rey scrambled forward and grabbed her gift, barely hidden by the newspaper she’d held together using masking tape. “I wrapped it myself.”

“Aww, my little trash panda,” Finn cooed, still smothering Poe at her side. Rey shoved him off of her boyfriend and handed Poe his present, and Poe leaned up for a kiss. Rey happily obliged and then settled in at Poe’s side, almost vibrating in anticipation.

Poe unwrapped it with far more care and caution than it deserved, and he snuck a smile her way every two seconds to the point where Paige started to gag.

He lifted the top of the box and then stared into the box for a few moments; Rey felt nervous suddenly - _what was she thinking, giving this to one of the most important tech innovators of the century, there’s no way he’d ever want this -_

His hands slipped into the box and emerged with the round, orange and white metal structure that Rey had been working on ceaselessly when she had a free minute off work when Poe wasn’t home. It was (in her opinion) a cute little thing, a round body eight inches in diameter with a half-spherical head, a shiny black optical unit (that she’d screamed over more than once while wiring), and a spiffy paint job.

“It’s a Best Buddy...unit…” Rey rubbed her neck, still incredibly uncertain. She’d been so wrapped up in making it, she’d forgotten to stress about Poe’s reaction to it, but now she had nothing but the anxiety that he wouldn’t actually like it. “You just...you talk to him like he’s really there, and I know he’s an AI prototype, but I thought it would be nice if you could...you know...almost have his personality inhabit something.”

Rey poked the little guy in the side, and then flipped the switch at the top, near the head. “Best Buddy?” She asked, still strangely nervous despite the fact that she’d practiced this a few times last week. “Show Poe what you’re made of.”

The little robot flickered to life, the head rotating minisculely as it adjusted to being awake; the eye swiveled to face Poe and made an excited zooming noise. “Hello,” the robot chirped in a familiar voice, rolling up to Poe and bumping into his leg. “It is nice to see you.”

“Best Buddy?” Poe reached forward and scratched the robot under the dome. “Is that really you?”

“You sound surprised. It's almost insulting.”

The robot rolled back and then did a full circle around Poe, who spun to follow its movement, eyes wide. “Holy crap!”

“Do you like it?” Rey asked shyly, and Poe turned his full attention to her.

“Are you kidding me?” He lurched forward and kissed her forehead, her nose, and her lips in quick succession. “That’s the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten!”

“I mean, I did give you the gift of life,” Kes grumbled from the couch, and Poe and Rey both laughed, remembering that they had an audience. Best Buddy continued to zoom around them and then over to Rose and Paige, and into Finn more than once.

“Rey’s turn,” Paige decided, grabbing a massive box from under the tree. “This one’s from Poe.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Poe held his hand out. “No, that one’s for later.”

“Is it a sex thing?” Finn cracked, and Rose shoved him hard. “What?”

“Everyone go do something else,” Poe ordered.

“Because it’s a sex thing?” Finn joked again, and Kes groaned and got off the sofa to tug on Finn’s shoulder.

“Come on.”

Everyone but Rey got up from the tree and wandered to the kitchen where they began to eat some snacks Poe had set out. Rey smiled at Poe, who scooted over next to her. “Is it a sex thing?” She teased, and Poe grinned at her.

“See for yourself.” The box was entirely unwrapped, and Rey eagerly ripped open the top.

She frowned - inside were multiple textbooks and a new laptop.

“What?” Rey looked up, feeling at a loss. She’d honestly been expecting jewelry, a car (Poe was constantly trying to get her to test drive Volvos), something ornate. But instead - she pulled out the textbook on top, and ran her hand along the cover. “What is-”

They were all engineering textbooks, and she already felt her nose tingling in excitement from all the information in the box. She kept digging, each title more exciting than the next, and then over at Poe, who was smiling bashfully.

“Here.” He reached over and grabbed a manila envelope that had been hiding near the box under the tree. “Maybe this will make more sense?”

Rey gave him a strange look and slit the envelope open - she pulled out a thick packet of paper. At the top of the first page was the emblem for Coruscant University. “Application for Admission to PhD In Engineering Program, Fall 2019,” Rey read aloud and looked up at Poe in shock.

“You always talked about going back and getting your degree.” Poe rubbed his neck and smiled at her. “And you should. I know - I know you don’t want me to...pay for it, or anything.” He made a terrible face, and Rey squeezed his thigh comfortingly. “And if you still feel that way, it’s fine. But I attached the information for fellowships” - he pointed to where there were several pink tabs, later on in the packet - “And I know you’d get some kind of money for it. You’re incredible. I mean.” He jerked his head towards her gift to him and smiled at her like she was the most marvelous thing he’d ever seen, and Rey felt impossibly warm. “They’d be lucky to have you. And if you decide to apply, those are the textbooks they use for the fall semester. I figured you’d want to get an early start.”

Rey couldn’t talk right away, and instead stared at the book, her mouth trembling.

“Whatever you do, I’ll support you. However you want me to.” Poe reached out to grasp her hand. “You’re the most amazing person I ever met, and I want the best for you, Sunshine.” Rey nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “...Did I...was that the wrong thing to-”

Rey lurched forward to throw her arms around his neck. “It’s perfect,’ she whispered, unable to say anything more without crying. “It’s perfect, and you’re perfect, and I love you.” Poe stroked her back and cradled her head as she pressed her face into his neck.

“I love you too.” Rey took a while to just hold Poe under the tree, Poe kissing her shoulder at regular intervals. “God, I love you.”

When they finally stood up, Rey wiping her eyes inconspicuously, they walked over to join the rest of their gathering, hand in hand.

As they sat around the tree and chatted, sipping hot cocoa with extra marshmallows (“The only way,” Finn declared solemnly, to which they all agreed heartily), Kes sat down next to Rey and wrapped his arm around her, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you,” he said, his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her.

“For what?” Rey laughed self-deprecatingly. “I … I didn’t get you a present, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were coming and-”

“No.” Kes shook his head, and with his clear encouragement, Rey scooted in closer to him, almost entirely unfamiliar with the warm, comfortable feeling in her stomach. She’d gotten flashes of it at Leia’s house, but here it felt more permanent, more real. “No, no. You gave me the best possible present.” He nodded his head towards the fire, where Poe and Finn were playing a game of cards while Rose braided Paige’s hair. Poe looked over and saw them, and smiled brightly, waving briefly before going back to his hand.

“And there it is.” Kes squeezed her arm. “My son is finally happy. I can’t think of a better gift.”

Rey sniffed, the tears not giving her any warning before slipping down her cheeks, and Kes made a soft noise in his throat when he wiped them away kindly with his sleeve.

Snow was falling, and the Christmas music was on full-blast, and Rey was warm and happy as she looked out at her odd, little family.

Six months ago, Rey wouldn’t have been able to recognize this as her life. But now, everything had changed, and she felt her heart swell - something she thought was only possible in cartoon versions of Dr. Seuss books - at the sight of Poe’s crinkle-eyed smile (something she now recognized he inherited from his father), at the sight of Finn and his still-starry-eyed crush on the owner of Resistance Tech, the sight of Paige and Rose, still smiling despite all they’d been through. Rey looked at her life, at the unexpected place it had brought her, and she smiled.

She walked into that restaurant back in June expecting a sugar daddy, one who would control her every move and keep her as an ornament, who would keep her as a pet and give her everything she could ever possibly ask for, who would give her gifts under the condition that she existed to please him, to make him look better.

Rey Smith snuggled deeper into the couch and under the arm of someone who she hoped to call a father one day, and she realized that Poe had given her what she actually wanted, what she needed, what she'd always been afraid to ask for.

A home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap!
> 
> Thanks to all of you who have stuck it out 'til the bitter, probably poorly written, end!
> 
> (And yes I know that PhD program applications for fall semester would most likely be due before Christmas, but shh)


End file.
